Q&A I wish I had read when I was struggling with puppy blues

[vf6cruiser]

Q: Have I made a huge mistake?

A: Getting a puppy is an enormous life change and it's totally normal to feel regret. The first few weeks are so, so hard. Take it day by day. As your puppy develops, your feelings will follow suit.

Q: Am I just not a dog person? I'm not enjoying this puppy...

A: You are just not a puppy person. Puppies cause long-term stress, sleep deprivation, and exhaustion. Some people enjoy the process, but most people don't and THAT'S OK.

Q: He never cuddles with me. Does my puppy dislike me?

A: Cuddling isn't synonymous with love. Some dogs just don't cuddle, some start cuddling once they have matured. Either way, your puppy loves you.

Q: Will I ever love this dog? Am I a horrible person for not liking the puppy even though I wanted one so badly?

A: Honestly, you probably already love the puppy, but you're such an anxious mess that those warm feelings have been repressed. Some people fall in love right away, but for others, a real bond can take time to develop. You are not a horrible person. Be kind to yourself and give it time.

Q: I feel like we are behind on training... Am I doing a good job?

A: YES. You are providing a warm home and fulfilling your puppy's needs. Try not to compare your puppy's progress with other puppies. You are doing enough.

Q: Will I ever get my life back?

A: No and yes. Life will never be the same... because you will have a dog! Eventually you will adjust to a new normal, and your dog will be so worth it.

Q: Will my puppy ever settle down?

A: Yes! It might take 5 months, it might take 1 year. But he/she will mature... and one day you'll notice that your pup isn't getting into so much trouble anymore and you don't have to eagle-eye them all the time. Each puppy matures differently, but you WILL get there.

Q: Will we survive adolescence?

A: Yes... it's definitely challenging, but in a different way from the baby phase. Even the completely bonkers teenagers still know way more than they did when they were babies! They have also had time to build a stronger relationship with you. Plus, the tough part, early adolescence, only lasts from ~7 to 10 months of age. You can do it!

- from a former puppy blues sufferer -

Edit: formatting is hard

 

[openbibleministries]

@vf6cruiser This is so helpful! I wish I had something like this when we got our pup.

We've only had her for eight weeks but the first week was ROUGH for me. I was on the verge of tears of crying every single day. I loved that puppy so much but I felt so much regret in getting her. My partner was the complete opposite and was so overjoyed about finally having our own dog, it started to make me feel even worse.

Now I couldn't imagine life without her! She can be frustrating at times, but she is so funny and smart and I just love having her around more than anything. Eight weeks ago I couldn't imagine I would have ever thought that.

 

[vf6cruiser]

@openbibleministries

 

[openbibleministries]

@vf6cruiser Thanks! So am I! I had no idea about the puppy blues until I came across this subreddit and it was so refreshing to know I wasn't the only person who felt this way about their pup

 

[thomaswhitetw]

@openbibleministries my fiancé’s puppy blues were worse than mine, and i think he felt like you did. he would get angry (“i just want sleep!!”) and sad and stressed and tired and frustrated. until one day he woke up and our (then 3.5 month old) puppy wasn’t a hassle anymore. having a puppy was fun and cute and squishy and bouncy and fluffy. i’m so so so glad you and my fiancé beat the blues and can’t live without the floofs.

 

[openbibleministries]

@thomaswhitetw Haha that sounds exactly like me! It was definitely the less sleep that made it so bad because I hate getting up in the middle of the night lol. Our house has been so much fun since getting her, and I can't imagine life without her now!

 

[bubiboeller]

@vf6cruiser wait is early adolescence really from 7-10 months?? IS THAT WHY MY PUPPY IS BEING SO DIFFICULT NOW I THOUGHT THAT WAS ME DOING SOMETHING WRONG

 

[vf6cruiser]

@bubiboeller You have a teenage tyrant on your hands!! They can be such buttheads

 

[reverendgamehungry]

@vf6cruiser I giggled at buttheads

 

[happywife1223]

@bubiboeller I adopted my puppy at the start of adolescence and he's going to 10 months. I had no idea at first and I loved him from the start, but I was like why's my dog rebellious, smart, moody, annoying, insane, annoying, cute, and annoying at the same time. Learning about adolescence has made it much easier to live with him!

 

[de2105]

@bubiboeller The bigger the pup the longer adolescence can last. Sometimes up to 2 years before they settle down.

 

[yannai]

@de2105 Don't tell me this - were just getting started with this lovely stage and I'm not having a good time!! Haha
I can do a three month count down but a year and a half may require therapy

 

[estherina]

@vf6cruiser

Q: I feel like we are behind on training... Am I doing a good job?

This is a frequent pain point / source of anxiety for me, even as my pup approaches 6 months. Here's a realization that helped me:

Year one is about socialization and bonding above all things. It cannot be overstated how critical socialization is for the dog's well-being, and how important bonding is for you as an owner. As long as you're working on those two things, who cares if your pup only listens to you selectively, or has poor recall? It's a puppy. And great news: almost everything you do with your young dog is going to be related to socialization, bonding, or both. Play. Experience new things together. By all means, train! But do so with less pressure on yourself and on the dog for perfection. Even the perfect Instagram puppies you see will likely regress at some point, there's no curve that you're falling behind. Breathe, and enjoy as much of this as you can because they grow up real fast.

 

[vf6cruiser]

@estherina This is a great way to look at it. The feeling that you should be doing more causes so much unnecessary pressure. There are definitely some important life skills you want to start building on, like recall and impulse control, but yes, year one should be all about growing up and experiencing stuff together!

 

[estherina]

@vf6cruiser Great point on the life skills thing, honestly. Without visible results, it can be easy to forget that you're still setting up important foundation for future success!

 

[mannyman]

@vf6cruiser Everyone's a puppy person....till they have a puppy.

 

[jhubb]

@vf6cruiser Thank you so much. I have literally asked myself all of these questions on a near-daily basis since I got my pup a month ago!

 

[flocy]

@vf6cruiser Thank you so much! I especially love the part "you're not a puppy person"! But all those questions were constantly on my mind.. we haven't reached adolescence yet, he's only 6 months, but we're approaching it and it is scary, but like you said, now I love him so much that it's different. In the beginning I kept thinking "this is an investment, you're going to get an amazing dog out of this crazy puppy" but now the puppy is already amazing so I'm sure he's going to drive me insane again (as he does at least once a day) but now I don't question my love for him anymore and that was definitely the hardest part for me

 

[vf6cruiser]

@flocy I felt so much guilt for not feeling overwhelming bursting love for our puppy at first. I had dreamed about puppy ownership for so long, and when we finally got him? Just stress, anxiety, and regret. Now I realize that my little heart just didn't have the emotional energy to feel strong affection for the puppy because of how tough it was.

Don't be too afraid about adolescence. You will definitely notice it when it starts and it will drive you nuts, but it's all a part of growing up. Each day of teenage terror is a day closer to a well-adjusted adult dog! We're at 9 months now and the progress almost makes me cry, it's crazy to see how much he has grown. You'll get there too, I'm sure!!

 

[flocy]

@vf6cruiser I hope so!! He's so good now, so sweet! We spend the day admiring him and how good he has become and sure, a big part is that we also changed and have adapted to him, but still, he was for sure the hero in the story!