@voraces Not everyone to be sure. And I had one family member tell me that he didn’t want to come over anymore. I asked if he had another solution and he said, get rid of the dog. Couldn’t believe how much that hurt. I bit my tongue because I didn’t want to clean up the verbal assault i was about to unleash. I’m glad I did because he eventually apologized and said he would try to help. Now they’re friends and there’s no barking and the dog comes right over to him for scritches. It’s hard but so worth it. I’m a firm believer that the investment now in good experiences will pay off. (And allowing bad experiences over and over will also pay off, in a not so good way).
Our guidance to House Visitors with our reactive dog. Yes we ask them to read before they come in
- Thread starter romans82
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jessiejackson
New member
@romans82 My sister in law did this to my sister. My sister told the kids not to touch the dog because he gets anxious with new people but he’s totally fine if you just leave him alone. Guess what the kids did? Touched the dog and got nipped. Fuck around and find out right? My SIL was an asshole about it so sister and SIL haven’t seen each other in years.
@jessiejackson Uggh sometimes people just suck. I like another poster that said “keep the dog, get rid of the husband”. I will say I’m lucky that my husband believed the trainer so we’re on the same page but still…. It shouldn’t be that hard to take some direction, right?? SMH
@romans82 That’s so wonderful.
And I completely agree, if ONLY I could just have willing people on call to go thru the process with me and my boy and let it be positive for him, we’d be in a way better spot instead of stuck where we’ve been for so long. Even one day I was like should I offer to pay people? It would still be less than a session with a trainer who he knows and loves after the first visit so the new person aspect isn’t being worked on after that.
I’ll figure it out one day I hope haha.
And I completely agree, if ONLY I could just have willing people on call to go thru the process with me and my boy and let it be positive for him, we’d be in a way better spot instead of stuck where we’ve been for so long. Even one day I was like should I offer to pay people? It would still be less than a session with a trainer who he knows and loves after the first visit so the new person aspect isn’t being worked on after that.
I’ll figure it out one day I hope haha.
jwyattharp
New member
@romans82 Honest question: if he requires this many steps, isn’t it better to keep him away whenever someone comes to visit or avoid visits all together until he’s more ready? If you need help with training and such for him to get used to, it’s great to give this to a friend and ask for help, even better if it’s usually the same person.
Honestly, if I read that I would ask us to meet somewhere else because I wouldn’t want to startle the poor pup in his own home or make him uncomfortable in any way, and I would probably need to keep a cheat sheet near me or keep asking you what to do because I wouldn’t remember all the steps.
This is only my POV, of course. You are not doing anything wrong, it’s actually the opposite because it’s important that people know how to behave near others pets. This is a genuine question, specially since you are working with a trainer that probably helped you built this.
Edit: The steps are actually pretty simple and fast, OP and another commenter broke it down for me hahaha, so please also read their answers.
Honestly, if I read that I would ask us to meet somewhere else because I wouldn’t want to startle the poor pup in his own home or make him uncomfortable in any way, and I would probably need to keep a cheat sheet near me or keep asking you what to do because I wouldn’t remember all the steps.
This is only my POV, of course. You are not doing anything wrong, it’s actually the opposite because it’s important that people know how to behave near others pets. This is a genuine question, specially since you are working with a trainer that probably helped you built this.
Edit: The steps are actually pretty simple and fast, OP and another commenter broke it down for me hahaha, so please also read their answers.
dtbguy2013
New member
@jwyattharp Just another perspective, I had a very stranger reactive dog so when people were in the house for a short period of time, yes, it was absolutely easier (for him and us) to just keep him away from guests, especially when we were kids (we got him when I was 11) so he never interacted with any of my friends that came over. However, if people were going to stay with us for a few days or if it was somebody who was going to be visiting more often, we had a whole system, including a muzzle, to introduce him to people. We didn’t have the steps listed out like this, but it was a similar process until he was more comfortable.
patrickcen
New member
@jwyattharp I respectfully disagree. This is basically a couple steps just broken down into more concrete steps, so it seems complicated but it’s not. We do basically this exact same thing and it works perfectly!
Person ignores dog.
We walk around person for a bit until dog chooses to go sniff person.
Dog is rewarded by me and person scattering treats.
Dog continues to sniff/get treat, sniff/get treat, until he wants to engage, then gets scratches under the chin.
For us, we’re lucky and this takes 5 minutes. From there he’s chill with the person in the house and over the course of a half an hour usually becomes best friends with the new person. It can be awkward to ask friends and family to do this but it’s so beneficial for the dog to learn that people aren’t scary!
Person ignores dog.
We walk around person for a bit until dog chooses to go sniff person.
Dog is rewarded by me and person scattering treats.
Dog continues to sniff/get treat, sniff/get treat, until he wants to engage, then gets scratches under the chin.
For us, we’re lucky and this takes 5 minutes. From there he’s chill with the person in the house and over the course of a half an hour usually becomes best friends with the new person. It can be awkward to ask friends and family to do this but it’s so beneficial for the dog to learn that people aren’t scary!
jwyattharp
New member
@patrickcen Thanks for explaining it better! It’s waaay clear for me now, yeah, in this case it seems simple and not a huge request. I saw the amount of steps and read them and was sort of confused, but you made it super clear and simple to understand
I don’t think it’s that awkward to ask family and friends to do it, in fact I think it would be way simpler if everyone just gave a brief introduction of their dog and tell what people should/can and shouldn’t/can’t do. With my moms dog I usually have to tell people: “he will jump on you, but that’s only because he wants cuddles and he is not aggressive. You can wait for me to go in first and then calm him down before you come in”, usually people say: “let him jump!”, so yeah, my mom not being too keen on training plus that just makes me give a small warning before going in.
I don’t think it’s that awkward to ask family and friends to do it, in fact I think it would be way simpler if everyone just gave a brief introduction of their dog and tell what people should/can and shouldn’t/can’t do. With my moms dog I usually have to tell people: “he will jump on you, but that’s only because he wants cuddles and he is not aggressive. You can wait for me to go in first and then calm him down before you come in”, usually people say: “let him jump!”, so yeah, my mom not being too keen on training plus that just makes me give a small warning before going in.
@jwyattharp It’s a great question! I wrote this out one day more of a
way to get my thoughts together about the why we ask people to do it. I learned so much from our trainer about anxiety. I agree with Zealous though, that the steps really are pretty simple and work like a charm. But I did find having it written out helped me with the discussions with a couple people. People seriously don’t know. I probably just hang out with a bunch of super sensitive people who take it very personally when they’re not Fletchers best friend!
way to get my thoughts together about the why we ask people to do it. I learned so much from our trainer about anxiety. I agree with Zealous though, that the steps really are pretty simple and work like a charm. But I did find having it written out helped me with the discussions with a couple people. People seriously don’t know. I probably just hang out with a bunch of super sensitive people who take it very personally when they’re not Fletchers best friend!
jwyattharp
New member
southernrunner
New member
@romans82 This is fantastic that you are willing to go to such great lengths for your dog. Truly above and beyond!
I also strongly believe that it’s ok to not do any of this. I have a stranger reactive dog who displays aggression towards humans. Our protocol when people come over is that she sits in her bed and doesn’t interact with anyone unless I say it’s ok. In the long run, it might not be addressing her underlying issues but that’s what I need to realistically keep her in my home. For myself and my lifestyle, enforcing these guidelines is not sustainable. And sustainability is the key to a responsible, enjoyable life with my dog. If I get overwhelmed and can’t keep up with these things, there is no other option for her.
Again, I applaud you for going above and beyond and setting your dog up for great success! I hope to one day have the confidence to do the same. However, I think it’s so so important to recognize that not everyone has the means, resources, or desire to be consistent with this set up and that is 100% acceptable. Success is relative and there are many ways to define success. Everyone needs to do what works best for them! Thank you for sharing!
I also strongly believe that it’s ok to not do any of this. I have a stranger reactive dog who displays aggression towards humans. Our protocol when people come over is that she sits in her bed and doesn’t interact with anyone unless I say it’s ok. In the long run, it might not be addressing her underlying issues but that’s what I need to realistically keep her in my home. For myself and my lifestyle, enforcing these guidelines is not sustainable. And sustainability is the key to a responsible, enjoyable life with my dog. If I get overwhelmed and can’t keep up with these things, there is no other option for her.
Again, I applaud you for going above and beyond and setting your dog up for great success! I hope to one day have the confidence to do the same. However, I think it’s so so important to recognize that not everyone has the means, resources, or desire to be consistent with this set up and that is 100% acceptable. Success is relative and there are many ways to define success. Everyone needs to do what works best for them! Thank you for sharing!
@southernrunner This is such a good post and reminder that every dog and every family is different! This is just what works for us and for the people who want to interact with our dog. I’ll caveat it by saying that if someone doesn’t want to interact with Fletcher or I don’t want them to, none of this applies! 
southernrunner
New member
@christ197 Love it! Better for them in the long run!