[RIP] Moose 6 y/o Amstaff

[mrbrain]

Backstory: I had a 6 y/o pit mix who I've had since he was about 3 or 4 months old. A few months after his 5th birthday, he started having seizures (July 4th 2019). For the next 6 months, he was frequently at the vet, spending the day being monitored, discussing adding or increasing meds, as well as a surgery and 2 consecutive visits after eating a bone (or something) this time last year. In December we added a 3rd medication and he was finally doing pretty well. In May he was doing great on an agility jump my dad and I build him, in June we took a weekend trip hiking with some friends, in July he was swimming in my parents' pool. But sometime over the last few months, he started walking into things, and then over the weekend he started falling down the steps leading out of the house. On Tuesday, I took him to the vet and the confirmed he had gone almost completely blind. At 9am my vet told me I could take him to the neurologist for more answered but when I picked him up after work and told him I had decided to stop his suffering, he told me he thought it was the right decision. I took him home and the next day decided to do it on Monday. Last night he kept panting and when I tried to get him water he could barely stand, so I decided today was the day.

When the vet opened at 730, they told me to bring him in at 9. I then video chatted my friends so that they could say goodbye. My parents came with me (i live alone with Moose and 2 other dogs) and we sat with him for an hour before they put him to sleep then we took him to my parents' house and buried him by the pond. My dad said prayers over him like he was a human (im not religious but it was nice of him to do it). I just got home and I don't know how to process. I'm not sure if i'm numb, havent registered yet, or just cried so much over the last 3 days that I have no more tears.

I feel so sad and angry that his life was so short. He had a good life. For his first 2 years, we lived in an apartment in Colorado with a dog park where he got to spend at least an hour every day playing with his friends. We went to a big dog park at least once a week, we hiked, camped, he got to swim in the creek. I took my dogs everywhere. We then moved to fl and I had to work full time but we still hiked and went swimming in my parents' pool and camped in Georgia and North Carolina. We went hiking with my friend and her dogs.

I'm so angry that he didn't get to live his full life. It hurts when I see people with their happy healthy young dogs or the old dogs that got to live such long lives. 5 good years wasn't nearly enough.

I really thought he was gonna get better, that we would get to do more fun things together as soon as we got the medications right. But after watching him decline so rapidly I think that he had a tumor and not idiopathic epilepsy. I dont know how I will ever come to terms with how short his life as, how hard he fought the last year, how brave he was no matter how bad it got.

I got my first dog when I was 21 years old and Moose my 2nd 6 months later. (My 3rd dog was my brothers who came to live with me about a year and a half ago). For 6 years, everything I did revolve around them. I feel like I have lost such a big part of who I am.

It would be a huge dishonor to his memory if I did say all the amazing things about him.

• He was the best snugglers, he loved cuddles, and sleeping under the blankets and in my sleeping bag on camping trips, and kept me warm in the winter.
• He loved to play, tug of war was his favorite.
• He was so full of life, he loved running around, hiking and swimming.
• He was the best brother to his sisters and all the foster puppies we had.
• He was absolutely handsome, people always said so, I'd say that why his head was so big.
• He was unbelievable friendly, he made people smile, everyone loved him.
• He was so incredibly brave, until he got really sick, he always had a smile and a wagging tail no matter how many seizures or how many times he had to go to the vet.
• He was loved, more than anything, he was so very loved. He touched so many lives, gave so many smiles and so much love. So many people cried saying their goodbyes today.

Thank you so much for reading our story. Please hug your babies extra tight tonight and take an extra adventure in his memory.

Pictures of the goodest [boy before he got sick

 

[jesusismyking87]

@mrbrain I am sure he had a happy life, I'm sure he felt loved by you! sending you a big hug!

 

[gosdontez]

@mrbrain I’m so sorry for you loss. I had a Weimaraner who suffered from horrible seizures - we never got a full picture of why she had them, but I remember having a tough conversation with my mom after we witnessed her having 11 in a single day span. She was at her max dosage for medication. She went temporarily blind after that episode. I told my mom that the next time she had a seizure, that was it.

It was so difficult to make that choice because 1) I was 21 and in college, and I only got to see her on weekends; 2) she acted totally fine when she wasn’t having a seizure; and 3) she wasn’t even 3 years old when that 11 in a day happened. It had never been that bad before that day. I remember calling my mom and asking her how my dog was doing the next morning after I had gone back to school. She was crying and said nothing other than that she had made an appointment to put my girl down, which meant she’d had another seizure that morning. I was devastated, but that is what I decided, and at that point, my mom had been equally as dedicated to her as I was.

What stung the most was knowing how much life my weim had left to live. I felt guilty and sad at the idea that she never even had the chance to grow old. That took a lot longer to accept than letting her be at peace did. I didn’t want to get another dog for fear that they’d have the same fate.

It took about a year, but as fate would have it, I ended up with a Am Staff that I wasn’t looking to own. She chose me. I didn’t want another dog at the time, and she plopped her squishy little body next to mine and claimed me. It’s been 10 years and a whole heck of a lot of life changes with her by my side. I say all the time that I won’t get another dog after she passes. I know that won’t be the case, but I cannot fathom the void she will leave when she’s gone. I tell you all this to say that I understand exactly how you feel right now. Sending love to you. Rest In Peace, Moose.

 

[mrbrain]

@gosdontez That's the hardest part. He only lived 1/2, maybe a 1/3 the life he should have. He was so full of life and had so much engery people though he was just a puppy even when he was 4 or 5 years old. I truly thought he was going to live such a long life. I never imagined it would be so short. Even when he developed epilepsy I thought that he would get better, that we would find the right medication and then he'd get to hike and swim and play again. But instead he just kept getting worse. Nothing in life has ever felt so unfair.

 

[gosdontez]

@mrbrain I know nothing will make that pain feel better except time, but I hope you take solace in the fact that you gave him such a beautiful, loving life in the time he had here.

 

[naomif01]

@mrbrain So sorry for your loss. I know if I lost my girl so young I would be broken. Moose looked like one of those perfect dogs you always hope you will have when you get a dog.

 

[mrbrain]

@naomif01 He really was. He was such a good boy. He was my best friend. He was always down for adventure but also loved to cuddle. He was such a velcro dog and was always by my side.

 

[tunaofthedirt]

@mrbrain So sorry for your loss. I lost my baby of almost 15 years on Tuesday and it's heartwrenching. I keep telling myself they were loved and you made the right decision in loving them enough to let go.

 

[naomif01]

@mrbrain You can just tell by the picture you shared that he was a super special dog. Again, so sorry for your loss

 

[mrv2u]

@mrbrain I am truly sorry for your loss. It’s taken me a couple of tries to type this out as the tears are making it hard to see. My best friend and I had to put our much loved dogs down within 2 weeks of one and another in April in fact it was 6 months yesterday. It still hurts everyday that he’s not here but We try to remember more of the good times as opposed to the days he was suffering. We never want our loved ones to suffer or be in pain and we do everything to ease their suffering but sometimes it’s not enough and then we make that choice and it’s never easy but it’s made out of love and it’s very clear that you loved your pup and you did all you could. It’s never easy when you love someone ( and are pets are a someone) that much.

 

[mrbrain]

@mrv2u Its fucked up but I'm a little envious. I feel so totally alone in my grief. In the hour before Mooses death I video chatted my 3 best friends and they all cried saying their goodbyes. My friend who hasnt seen moose in 4 years cried on the phone when I told her. Both my parents cried when we put him to sleep. Even some people I've never met have cried over his death. But everyone else will move on in a few days and I have to keep coming home every day to him not being here. My friend just had a baby and feel so angry that she welcomed a wonder bundle of joy just as I lost mine. I wish I had someone yo go through this with.

 

[mrv2u]

@mrbrain I totally understand how you’re feeling right now. My friend and I seem to have our moments when we’re missing our dogs and it helps not to have to explain how we’re feeling , a look is all it takes. There definitely comfort in having shared grief and if those around you aren’t experiencing it first hand it’s different especially like in your case having babies or just moving forward in their lives. When you first loose your fur baby you can feel stuck in those feelings of intense loss and sorrow. Everyone is different but you unfortunately have to go through it to get through it , at least that’s been the case for me.
Your boy Moose was a handsome boy and I hope you can concentrate on the good times you had, it’s hard when your loss is so fresh but you’re not alone. Pet owners reading your post who have lost their fur babies can relate and remember those feelings they felt loosing their pets it gets a bit easier, it’ll never go away it’s just not as raw. I know none of what I’ve said makes it better but I really hope you know you’re not alone we’re all thinking of you.

 

[zac595]

@mrbrain He had a short life, but it was full! Camping, hiking, and swimming with his human pack - people who loved him and cared for him? All dogs should be so lucky! I’m very sorry you lost him so soon (way too soon), but your love for him shines through every word you’ve written. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing you gave him a wonderful life.

 

[douglas79]

@mrbrain Dog lived a fuller life in 6 years then a lot get to. Hell, better than some people! You did right by him!

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@mrbrain My girlfriend's shepherd mix left us last year. Lymphoma.

He was only 9 years old, prime of his goofy adorable life.

The grief and shock are overwhelming. We had months to say goodbye. We knew it was coming. There was no expectation that he would beat it. We simply tried the best we could to make sure he knew he was loved. In the end, he had so many family members in the vet's office to say goodbye. So many tears.

It's been over a year. We've lost two other pets to old age in that time. The grief and loss lessen, but they do not go away. I'm usually good now, but occasionally, I'll read a post like this; I'm a drooling mess recalling those last few days now...

Hold tight to the memories and know this: Dogs are smart. Your pup knew he was loved. He knew he was cherished.
And he absolutely loved and cherished you too.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[dms10707]

@mrbrain I’m so sorry for your loss. Moose was the best boy, and you gave him a very good home while he was here among us.

 

[josh437781]

@mrbrain There’s no love like the love of a good dog. I’m sorry, friend. But it’s an absolute blessing that you made Moose’s life as happy as it could possibly be.

 

[olusanya800]

@mrbrain Originally posted by /@quigonj five years ago. It's always stuck with me. Hopefully it brings you comfort.

Dogs Never Die

Some of you, particularly those who think they have recently lost a dog to “death”, don’t really understand this. I’ve had no desire to explain, but won’t be around forever and must.

Dogs never die. They don’t know how to. They get tired, and very old, and their bones hurt. Of course they don’t die. If they did they would not want to always go for a walk, even long after their old bones say:” No, no, not a good idea. Let’s not go for a walk.” Nope, dogs always want to go for a walk. They might get one step before their aging tendons collapse them into a heap on the floor, but that’s what dogs are. They walk.

It’s not that they dislike your company. On the contrary, a walk with you is all there is. Their boss, and the cacaphonic symphony of odor that the world is. Cat poop, another dog’s mark, a rotting chicken bone ( exultation), and you. That’s what makes their world perfect, and in a perfect world death has no place.

However, dogs get very very sleepy. That’s the thing, you see. They don’t teach you that at the fancy university where they explain about quarks, gluons, and Keynesian economics. They know so much they forget that dogs never die. It’s a shame, really. Dogs have so much to offer and people just talk a lot.

When you think your dog has died, it has just fallen asleep in your heart. And by the way, it is wagging it’s tail madly, you see, and that’s why your chest hurts so much and you cry all the time. Who would not cry with a happy dog wagging its tail in their chest. Ouch! Wap wap wap wap wap, that hurts. But they only wag when they wake up. That’s when they say: “Thanks Boss! Thanks for a warm place to sleep and always next to your heart, the best place.”

When they first fall asleep, they wake up all the time, and that’s why, of course, you cry all the time. Wap, wap, wap. After a while they sleep more. (remember, a dog while is not a human while. You take your dog for walk, it’s a day full of adventure in an hour. Then you come home and it’s a week, well one of your days, but a week, really, before the dog gets another walk. No WONDER they love walks.)

Anyway, like I was saying, they fall asleep in your heart, and when they wake up, they wag their tail. After a few dog years, they sleep for longer naps, and you would too. They were a GOOD DOG all their life, and you both know it. It gets tiring being a good dog all the time, particularly when you get old and your bones hurt and you fall on your face and don’t want to go outside to pee when it is raining but do anyway, because you are a good dog. So understand, after they have been sleeping in your heart, they will sleep longer and longer.

But don’t get fooled. They are not “dead.” There’s no such thing, really. They are sleeping in your heart, and they will wake up, usually when you’re not expecting it. It’s just who they are.

I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs sleeping in their heart. You’ve missed so much. Excuse me, I have to go cry now.

 

[achu25]

@olusanya800 I just lost my good boy 9 yr old chihuahua unexpectedly to a heart attack on Sunday morning and I cannot tell you just how much I needed to read this. I hope this brings OP even a fraction of the peace it has brought me. Thank you.

 

[olusanya800]

@achu25 I'm so sorry for your loss.