So, I have an 11 1/2 w/o Golden Retriever, and I got her at 9 1/2 w/o, so I’ve had her for two weeks today, and it has just been a really really hard two weeks. I was having a hard time finding a balance between caring for her and caring for myself, and she’s a lot more work than I anticipated. Now that I’m having more time to myself because of a new schedule, she’s starting to be a little shit. It’s not that I hate her, but she is just… making it very hard to like her at the moment. She doesn’t like her crate, she sprints to the end of her leash, she lunges, she doesn’t like her harness, she spun around and bit me just now while I was trying to take it off of her. I’m trying not to get angry with her, but she is just being a tiny terror. I don’t know what to do, because I’m doing everything I’ve heard is right to do…? I keep her up for an hour or two, and then I put her down for a two to four hour nap (the longer nap is usually in the afternoon, the others are usually two hours), and I train her while she’s up, play with her, run around with her, feed her, take her to go to the bathroom, put her in her playpen while I make food sometimes. I just feel like she is trying to spite me and it’s making me really frustrated, and I’m not sure how to handle it. I live on my own so I can’t hand her off to a partner or the like while I cool down for a while. Any advice?
What to do if I feel like I don’t like my puppy?
@elinell You gotta change your attitude. Everything you're describing is normal for a puppy, especially a golden. They are super mouthy.
I'm not saying this behavior is fun, but if you go in thinking she's a "bad" puppy for doing normal puppy things, you are setting yourself and her up for failure.
What are your top 2 behavioral problems right now? I'd be happy to try to help.
Otherwise, I recommend Kikopup videos, especially the ones about puppies like the one about capturing calm, and the one about not biting clothes. She has a huge puppy playlist and the videos are short and really helpful. Watch them while you do the dishes, fold laundry, etc.
Your example about biting the harness is like 100% normal for a puppy. Kikopup has a video on it.
Are you doing any food enrichment? You can freeze kibble in various food toys and play different "find it" games to make meals last a long time. At that age it took my puppy 30 min to eat breakfast and 30 min to eat dinner the way I set it up. It gives you a lot more time to care for yourself.
I'm not saying this behavior is fun, but if you go in thinking she's a "bad" puppy for doing normal puppy things, you are setting yourself and her up for failure.
What are your top 2 behavioral problems right now? I'd be happy to try to help.
Otherwise, I recommend Kikopup videos, especially the ones about puppies like the one about capturing calm, and the one about not biting clothes. She has a huge puppy playlist and the videos are short and really helpful. Watch them while you do the dishes, fold laundry, etc.
Your example about biting the harness is like 100% normal for a puppy. Kikopup has a video on it.
Are you doing any food enrichment? You can freeze kibble in various food toys and play different "find it" games to make meals last a long time. At that age it took my puppy 30 min to eat breakfast and 30 min to eat dinner the way I set it up. It gives you a lot more time to care for yourself.
@ayrus87 I have puzzle toys and kongs and a snuffle mat and a lick mat that I use regularly. My main problem with her at the moment is… chewing on things she’s not supposed to chew. But, she’s a puppy, so I know that’s expected. I guess I’m just frustrated that I’m not loving the puppy stage, even though people are telling me I should enjoy it.
@elinell I felt this same way last week with my puppy. I was not enjoying being with her and couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong. I posted in a GSD Reddit asking for advice and they helped me realize I was putting way too much pressure on myself and on her, and once I let that pressure go to have her perfectly trained, worried what I’m doing right and wrong, things have been much more fun. They encouraged me to focus on my relationship with her for now, and most of this stuff - the chewing, the biting, etc, will subside.
As for chewing, something that helped us was Simpawtico’s chew training video and exactly what you’re doing - making sure she’s getting enough sleep.
For us, our girl is incredibly cranky when she’s tired. It’s an immediate switch, and we take her potty, she gets water, and it’s bed time. This has made all the difference when it comes to chewing/biting (MOST days - she still has those days where I just want to cry lol.)
Hang in there - you are not alone or doing anything wrong
As for chewing, something that helped us was Simpawtico’s chew training video and exactly what you’re doing - making sure she’s getting enough sleep.
For us, our girl is incredibly cranky when she’s tired. It’s an immediate switch, and we take her potty, she gets water, and it’s bed time. This has made all the difference when it comes to chewing/biting (MOST days - she still has those days where I just want to cry lol.)
Hang in there - you are not alone or doing anything wrong
@elinell Chewing on household things is 100% management. Goldens are going to chew and they are going to pick stuff up ALL THE TIME.
If she picks something up, you take a high value treat like chicken, and you go trade with her. Every single time. Never scold. Goldens like to carry things in their mouths and this should never be punished. If they bring you an object you give them a treat and say thank you.
Start working on drop it right away. I like Simpawtico's video for drop it.
If she's chewing something, that's your target for practice. Either put the item out of reach or spray it with bitter apple. Then target the behavior for training. Ex: if she's biting curtains, get ahead of it. If she walks past the curtains and doesn't bite them, mark and treat. You should be following your puppy around the house any time she isn't confined or busy with a food toy. Follow her around and mark and treat any time she walks past something while leaving it alone. 2 weeks of this and she'll have really good house manners. Will she still get into trouble? Absolutely. But you'll have taught her a ton about how to behave in the house.
Make sure she's dragging a leash in the house so you can quickly get her out of trouble and redirect.
Remember that the more closely you watch her at this age, the quicker she'll know how to behave.
Also, chewing is a need, so figure out what she likes to chew and provide it every day. It's a good idea to save her favorite chews for witching hour.
People that say "enjoy it because you will miss it" are correct. But that's only because the memory softens and you look back on it with nostalgia. Nobody is meaning that it isn't hard.
If she picks something up, you take a high value treat like chicken, and you go trade with her. Every single time. Never scold. Goldens like to carry things in their mouths and this should never be punished. If they bring you an object you give them a treat and say thank you.
Start working on drop it right away. I like Simpawtico's video for drop it.
If she's chewing something, that's your target for practice. Either put the item out of reach or spray it with bitter apple. Then target the behavior for training. Ex: if she's biting curtains, get ahead of it. If she walks past the curtains and doesn't bite them, mark and treat. You should be following your puppy around the house any time she isn't confined or busy with a food toy. Follow her around and mark and treat any time she walks past something while leaving it alone. 2 weeks of this and she'll have really good house manners. Will she still get into trouble? Absolutely. But you'll have taught her a ton about how to behave in the house.
Make sure she's dragging a leash in the house so you can quickly get her out of trouble and redirect.
Remember that the more closely you watch her at this age, the quicker she'll know how to behave.
Also, chewing is a need, so figure out what she likes to chew and provide it every day. It's a good idea to save her favorite chews for witching hour.
People that say "enjoy it because you will miss it" are correct. But that's only because the memory softens and you look back on it with nostalgia. Nobody is meaning that it isn't hard.
tulipgirl11
New member
@elinell I guarantee that everyone that tells you to enjoy the puppy stage does not mean it literally. It just means to enjoy how cute and tiny they are because they grow up and change super super fast and you will miss the tiny toes and face, the little hops and all those cute things you see in puppy videos.
Puppyhood is a terrible time. Adolescence is worse. Being frustrated and honestly not liking your puppy at times is completely normal.
But in a year, or even few months you will look back at puppy stage pics and videos and think how adorable your dog was and how cute and little and you'll miss it, because that's what human brains are like. Cute things make us dumb
Puppyhood is a terrible time. Adolescence is worse. Being frustrated and honestly not liking your puppy at times is completely normal.
But in a year, or even few months you will look back at puppy stage pics and videos and think how adorable your dog was and how cute and little and you'll miss it, because that's what human brains are like. Cute things make us dumb
glittergirl123
New member
@elinell I didn't enjoy the puppy phase either, and I'm an impatient person in general. This phase won't last very long. Lots of good advice in this thread. I got through with training videos, snuffle pads, enforced naps, a basic obedience class (mostly to train me), and chews/toys. And every time I got mad, I would say out loud, "you're just a baby" to remind myself that he was, in fact, a baby and I had to remain calm and patient. He couldn't be expected to behave because I hadn't taught him how yet. Good luck! Hang in there and put in the work. It will be worth it. 
imagebeastmarkbeast
New member
@elinell For chewing we just always said “uh oh” or “no” in a strict voice and gave him a nylabone type thing to chew on. Not sure if it’s the approved way but we always did that and no real issues with chewing and I have some hard to find mid century furniture in my living room. We also used bitter apple spray on the rug, or other areas we didn’t want him to chew . We are lucky he doesn’t chew furniture, never really did, we’d always stay vigilant though because left on their own at that age they’ll do what they want until they learn. He was also always in the pen unless we were there to redirect him from chewing. They’ll eventually get it, just make sure you have some puppy friendly nylabone or benabones around to satisfy the urge to chew
deadtotheworldforchrist
New member
@deadtotheworldforchrist Do they really like the yak chews? I almost bought some but I wasn’t sure! My girl is picky about chews.
deadtotheworldforchrist
New member
imagebeastmarkbeast
New member
@elinell Be patient— soon enough glimmers of a real dog will show through. My golden was so cute at that age but also a little shit lol I barely remember it. Use this time to make sure she is potty trained—take her outside often and praise when she goes potty outside. It’s really all I remember, as yes this was a difficult stage. No personality shining through quite yet but you will get there. Take lots of pictures too. They don’t stay cute and fuzzy like that for very long. Sometimes I look at pictures and I’m like, what were we even doing? I was trying to survive puppyhood. He’s 15 months old now but he started to feel like a real proper dog around 6ish months old
@imagebeastmarkbeast Luckily for me, we don’t have any issues with potty training! She basically came trained from the breeder.
@ajaye2014 Yes they do. I thought it was just my girl! So weird.
EDIT: she also reallly likes mulch
EDIT: she also reallly likes mulch
@elinell I gave up the fight on taking sticks from him, no amount of training will stop it imo. I’m about to mulch my backyard and am mentally preparing for him to mess it all up. Early on I invested in a boatload of gates so hopefully I can gate him away from it.
That’s another thing, invest in gates! You will most likely need them for years so if you can just bite the bullet and create areas for yourself only. It will save your sanity.
That’s another thing, invest in gates! You will most likely need them for years so if you can just bite the bullet and create areas for yourself only. It will save your sanity.
je5usfre4k
New member
@elinell Actual words from a trainer with 30+ years’ experience talking about her latest dog…who came home at age five months:
”For the first six months she was home, I loved her, but I didn’t like her.”
That’s pretty much it.
For me, puppydom is the price you sometimes pay to have your dog with you as long as possible.
”For the first six months she was home, I loved her, but I didn’t like her.”
That’s pretty much it.
For me, puppydom is the price you sometimes pay to have your dog with you as long as possible.
@je5usfre4k Came to say this.
There are quite a few days that I didn’t like my puppy (also a mouthy golden retriever) and wanted to return her. She’s now 11 months old and a delight, we started to see glimpses of her non-shark personality around 8 months old, six months after we brought her home.
OP, can you phone a friend to come puppy sit for a couple hours, or hire a sitter so you can have a break for a couple hours? The other option: as long as her playpen is safe (no choking or strangulation hazards, collar/harness off), it’s okay to leave her for a short time (like 5-10 minutes) and give yourself a break in another room (I have cried in the bathroom a few times because of my puppy).
You can do it, you’re in the thick of it right now, going through the hardest parts, and it’s okay not to like your puppy right now, it’s fricken hard to like the land sharks.
There are quite a few days that I didn’t like my puppy (also a mouthy golden retriever) and wanted to return her. She’s now 11 months old and a delight, we started to see glimpses of her non-shark personality around 8 months old, six months after we brought her home.
OP, can you phone a friend to come puppy sit for a couple hours, or hire a sitter so you can have a break for a couple hours? The other option: as long as her playpen is safe (no choking or strangulation hazards, collar/harness off), it’s okay to leave her for a short time (like 5-10 minutes) and give yourself a break in another room (I have cried in the bathroom a few times because of my puppy).
You can do it, you’re in the thick of it right now, going through the hardest parts, and it’s okay not to like your puppy right now, it’s fricken hard to like the land sharks.
@je5usfre4k How come no one tells you this when you get a puppy 