Unexpectedly lost my 2.5 year old dog, I feel so empty

[ozzijez]

My 2.5 year old dog went from happy and healthy to completely deteriorated in 48 hours and no one knows why. We decided to euthanize her because she was in so much pain and the vets didn't know what the cause was/pain management wasn't helping.

We moved into a huge home for her a few months ago so that she would have more space and now it feels so pointless to live here and so empty. I haven't even left my bedroom yet today because I know she won't be waiting for me.

It's been 24 hours and I know it's fresh and time will help but I just feel so deeply sad. I've lost pets before, but they've always been a family pet and not 100% mine.

Just feeling sad, angry, and lost. She was so young and we did everything right with her. Best dog food, enrichment activities, annual vet visits and shots, etc. I had just bought her a new toy on Monday and she was gone by Wednesday morning...

Thanks for listening .

Edit:
Thank you so much for all of the love and support, it's helpful to hear similar stories. You are all wonderful and have made a difficult day a little bit better.

 

[ghagfors]

@ozzijez Losing them young stings even worse. I’m so so sorry. Had to say goodbye to my 6 year old a few weeks ago. Same issues. She was absolutely fine and healthy until out of no where she deteriorated over 5 days. She had a chronic liver disease I never knew about. You can do absolutely everything right and still loose them. It’s so so unfair. I feel your pain. Sending love.

 

[wini]

@ghagfors

She had a chronic liver disease I never knew about

This exact thing happened with my 7 year old dog. I think it took me about 2 years to be able to think about her without crying. I have a whole album of pictures I took on her last day (she was still able to go on a short walk, eat eggs and bacon for breakfast, and even play with a toy a little, but had ascites to the point it was impacting her breathing), and I just can't look at it yet. It sounds kind of ridiculous, but her illness/death is probably the hardest thing I've gone through in my life so far, emotionally.

It does get easier with time. I can think about the good times we had together now without getting bogged down in the sadness.

 

[ghagfors]

@wini Oh I’m so sorry. It’s not ridiculous at all. This is easily one of the worst things I’ve ever been through and I’ve lost family members to cancer/rare illnesses etc. They mean so much to us and to have them ripped away without warning is soul crushing.
I have days where seeing her picture just makes me sob uncontrollably. I have moments where her memories bring me peace. I just feel robbed of time with her.

It’s comforting to know I’m not alone but so sad to know that others feel this pain. Thank you and I’m sorry for your loss.

 

[tropicalbaby]

@wini It’s not silly. I lost my 14 year old girl last year, and even though I know I was lucky as hell to have her to that age (she was a big dog), god it hurt. Still does. Took me almost a year to be able to see her pics without crying. I still do sometimes, but I also smile.

Losing yours so early……..that’s just heartbreaking

 

[katrina2017]

@ghagfors I’m so sorry for your loss. Did the vet say if there was any indication of chronic liver disease when she passed? Like any signs?

 

[ghagfors]

@katrina2017 Yes. She spent about 5 days at the emergency vet and she had yellowing of the eyes and gums. Her liver was “abnormally small” and they could barely see it behind her gallbladder during an ultrasound. Her gallbladder was inflamed and had issues too. She wasn’t eating. Vet said all signs pointed to liver disease and possibly even cancer. She had been totally healthy before that and we had no idea she would have ever had this chronic illness. Prior to her sudden deterioration there were zero signs she had it.

 

[katrina2017]

@ghagfors I’m so sorry

 

[lilybai]

@ghagfors Lost my four year old to undiagnosed liver issues as well started as what we thought was a kidney stone and then he basically never recovered.

 

[mdamon0501]

@ozzijez Im so sorry. I lost my 6 year old to cancer, and it all happened so fast for me, within a month. He was so heathy and then next thing I know I was making the call to euthanize.

It’s hard when you feel like you did everything right. At the same time, it helped me through it. Because I know we gave him the best life he could have possibly had in the short time he was with us.

It took me almost exactly a year before being ready to welcome a new dog into our lives. I remember him often, and I still have bad days where I need to curl up and cry. The pain never goes away, but it gets easier to live with.

Lean on your support systems when you have to, partner or family, or friends. Don’t rush the grieving process.

 

[440281/]

@mdamon0501 Similar story. I had a neighbor who had a female golden retriever, Carly. Was my dog’s best friend. I had a GSD. They loved playing together. Would chase geese together at the elementary school. Carly was 6yo. My dog was 2. One day, all of a sudden we didn’t see that dog. For more than a year…nothing. We thought they moved away. One random day, I saw the owner and talked to her. She told me that her dog wasn’t feeling well 1 day. Took the dog to the vet. Found out it was cancer. And within 1 week, she had to put Carly down. She said she was devastated and literally stayed in bed for over a year. And that day that I saw her was the 1st day she came out to walk around the neighborhood. I saw her a few months later. She told me she was moving away. Too many memories of her dog in the neighborhood including seeing my dog. My dog would walk by her home and look for Carly for years. One day, years later, he stopped looking for Carly. It was quite sad. End of an era.

When my dog reached 12, he was diagnosed with cancer too. But unlike your stories, I had months with him before I had to put him down. That was 5.5 years ago. What you said was so true…that the pain never goes away. You just learn to live with it. 5.5 years later, there isn’t a single day that I haven’t thought about my boy. A couple months later, after I put him down, I put a down payment on a new puppy. This current dog has done his very best to help me forget the pain.

 

[katherine5]

@440281/ Oof your last line hit me right in the feels

 

[ozzijez]

@mdamon0501 I'm sorry for you loss . I appreciate your kind words.

 

[marinda]

@ozzijez Hugs to you. It's just so bad when they die young.

I wanted my own GSD from the age of seven, when the dog that was my best friend was put down for catching sheep (I grew up on a farm). When I was in my early thirties, I was finally stable enough to get my own dog. Just after her second birthday, she ate a puffer fish on the beach and died on my lap on the way to the vet.

It felt like a piece of my heart had been ripped out. I cried myself to sleep and woke up crying. The silence was the worst thing for me, and then the routine that no longer made sense. (And also not being constantly harassed while I went to the loo, but best we don't mention that.)

My heart absolutely breaks for you, but know she had a good life and was loved fiercely while she was with you. I read the other day that grief is love without an outlet, so it might help to find an outlet for your love.

After my first dog died, my brother realized I wasn't functioning and found me a puppy and bought her for me. I thought I could never love another dog, but she turned out to be my occupational therapy dog, and I love her just as much. I love what's in front of me, and it's really hard to be mired in grief while trying to stop a landshark from eating your shoes. I didn't replace the dog I lost--I just had somewhere to direct my love. The grief became less acute (but I still cry when I think of my first girl, and it's been eight years).

I hope you find an outlet for your love and you don't get mired in grief. And be kind to yourself. You did everything right, but sometimes nature is just a raging arsehole for no good reason.

 

[ozzijez]

@marinda I'm sorry for your loss, I truly appreciate your kind words .

 

[marinda]

@ozzijez If you remember nothing else from my comment, please just remember this one thing: Give yourself a break. It's not your fault.

 

[jimatjude]

@marinda I lost my girl before she was 5 and I just couldn’t even function. Went to sleep thinking about her and woke up thinking about her. Had this emptiness in my stomach that just wouldn’t go away. Didn’t want to come home because she wasn’t there. I decided to get me a another pooch to love and focus on. I tell you I am still very sad about my girl, but my new girl has helped me so much! She’s not a replacement, she is my next love

 

[whizzer]

@jimatjude That is exactly what I did. I contacted the breeder I purchased my last pup from and he had another. I was so fortunate that he just had a new litter. Only two pups left but I got one and it's the only way I know to get past the death of "man's best friend"

I just have to get another. Otherwise the grief is overwhelming.

 

[outbackhatter]

@marinda I lost my black lab/ border collie mix Molly when she was 2 as well. I was getting her spayed, and she somehow died during surgery(not from the anesthesia though, confirmed by a co worker of mine who had a friend who worked at the vet and tried to resuscitate her for 20 minutes).

That was the only death that ever physically brought me to my knees, and I’ve also lost my mom who I was very close with so that’s saying a lot about pet deaths, they hurt just as bad.

Like you, I was also not doing well after my Molly girl died. Her chihuahua brother Thor wasn’t doing well either. So two months later I brought home my border collie Bella, who also became my emotional support dog. Thor adored her right away. She was my everything, and I swear was sent by Molly to make sure we would be okay.

I lost her two weeks ago today. I miss her so much.

Pet deaths are just so hard. I wish they lived as long as us. It’s hard losing them when they’re young, it’s hard losing them when they’re old, it’s just freaking hard and it sucks, but it’s so absolutely normal to feel awful when we lose them.

Exactly like you say grief is just love with no place to go.

 

[human4]

@ozzijez I’m so sorry. Last night we lost our seven month old golden retriever to blue algae exposure. Jumped in the pond healthy as could be and hours later she was gone.