How do you know rehoming would be better for your dog?

[lovehopegirl]

Hello everyone,

Sorry I tried posting this on /r/dogs but it was removed because I'm new and I just really need help ... idk if this is the right place to ask and I know these aren't the kinds of posts people tend to look kindly on but here it goes: my ex and I got a dog together almost 9 years ago. 2 years ago we split up and we were gonna care for her together (having her live with either of us for 1-2 months at a time). But he quickly abandoned her and so it's just me. Except I couldn't afford a big place with a garden (he has a massive house with an even more massive garden), so my dog and I had to move into an apartment in the city (mind you it's a small city with lots of green and parks, not some kind of major capital, but still ... read on).

Before, we lived in the countryside and I always felt she was a happy dog. Now, I don't have (my own) garden (there is a shared one which I use 1-2 times a day to let her out in between walks), but I walk her a few times a day and we do at least one long walk (1 hour) every day.

But over the last 1.5 years, she's grown increasingly fearful and neurotic. She's scared of so many sounds (motorcycles, large cars, banging sounds from construction work, things get thrown over by wind, ...) making her not enjoy a vast majority of the walks we go on; when people come over she whines the *entire time* (no matter how many hours I walked her before) for their attention (to the point that even my most patient visitors are starting to find it annoying and mind you, I invite someone over maybe like once a month at the most); she's started having bouts of diarrhea at night inside the apartment (it happened twice now in 1.5 months and it's something that never happened in all the years prior which makes me think it's stress-related cause the vet couldn't find anything), ...

All in all, it's just .. honestly, it's just depressing. I feel that my happy dog isn't happy anymore, she seems stressed on every walk, with every visit. I can't afford a house with a big garden, and I myself am growing increasingly frustrated and impatient. I just don't know what to do.

I know people tend to judge people for rehoming their dogs - I think even I sometimes do. But what if it would be truly better for her to be with someone who can better help her manage her anxieties, someone who has the space for her to run around like she used to? Am I a bad person for thinking this?

Any advice would be IMMENSELY appreciated.

 

[zxczc]

@lovehopegirl Ok - I stopped at the criticisms of neurosis.
I'm not reading the rest because I'm pretty sure you're writing your thoughts out loud, which are that you're trying to convince yourself is ok to rehome a 9 year-old dog.

Let me repeat that; she's a 9 YEAR OLD DOG.

Sure there are justifiable reasons to rehome a dog, but not when they're 9 years old. There is none at all.

Plus, you don't say she was a small pup 9 years ago when you adopted her - so she may in fact be older than that?

Let's forget for a moment this dog has only known you and your ex for her entire life. Yes; ENTIRE LIFE.

Unfortunately, amongst us animal people someone who gets rid of a dog at this stage of their lives will be given the least respect. I'm not apologizing for that. There's a good reason for it.

You will be abandoning her at her most vulnerable stage of her life. And this is tenable because she's now showing signs of doggy dementia.
You've just described them in your post.
Whatever mental gymnastics you are doing to convince yourself that her behavior is such that it's so obvious that's she's unhappy without her big garden is pure bullshit.
She'd be behaving the same way - with or without the garden, and you know it.

Now get your big-girl britches on and take her to a vet that deals with geriatrics in dogs and get over whatever self-serving whatevers you're going through to convince yourself that giving up a elderly dog - yes, I said "elderly," because that's what she is - is in her best interests.

If you have to abandon her - just like your ex did - fine, but do her a kindness - and have her euthanized.
Sure, there may be someone out there who's willing to take on an elderly dog, who may now need extra care, and maybe medication, but surely if physical challenges come up, which likely they will, she'll need even more care. Yeah - someone may be out there to take that on - but that's like finding a needle in a needle haystack.
If you take her to a shelter she'll never get adopted, and now you won't be there, either. She'll die alone with strangers, who won't be noticing her ailments coming up as she gets even older. Hell - you seem to not be able to notice - with effort to not do so

Like I said - I'm not reading the rest of your commentary - it's too fucking heartbreaking. And you've got some huevos coming on reddit to try and convince us - as well as yourself - that it's a kindness to abandon an elderly dog who's showing signs of dementia.

Off with you - go do the right goddamn thing, already...

 

[lovehopegirl]

@zxczc Dude she’s 9 years old, I got her as a puppy, it’s definitely not dementia. And I don’t need you to believe she’s displaying signs of neurosis, she is, as has been confirmed by vets and a dog trainer. Because yes, unlike what you insinuate, I have consulted them, and I have been trying for months to help her feel better, I just don’t know how.

Off with you? Lol. I think you have absolutely zero idea how hard this is for me or how connected I feel to animals. If this was easy I’d just do it, not reach out for advice.

 

[zxczc]

@lovehopegirl Idiot

 

[lovehopegirl]

@zxczc For what exactly, not fitting the mold of terrible person you want to put me in? I’d never put her in a shelter, I don’t even want to rehome her. I want her to be happy. Thanks for making me feel bad about that. You really have absolutely no idea, only assumptions, zero empathy.

 

[caliisawake]

@lovehopegirl Have you tried consulting a veterinarian to try and put her on anxiety medication? This may help her adjust!

Personally, I don’t think rehoming her is the best option. If she was a younger dog, where you yourself could personally place her with a family, maybe. Being that she’s 9 years old she’d be considered a senior and they have an extremely hard time being adopted. She also may have a harder time being that you’re all she knows.

If you’re worried about running around, depending on your location maybe look into sniff spot! It’s where you can rent someone’s backyard to be used as a private dog park. This is used in North American a lot, not sure of your location though.

Lastly, to address when people come over, have you tried freezing xylitol free peanut butter in a kong toy, then giving it to her while people are here? It might help keep her busy to control the whining.

I hope this helps! Best of luck!