Vent on rehoming

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@tillerman5320 Exactly … and sometimes it’s just not a right fit no matter how much you try to make it work. That doesn’t make this guy a bad person. If he was abusive and horrible to the dog, that’s a different story. You can never predict how a new dog will behave in your home and some stuff is too extreme to deal with. It’s better for him to return a dog so that dog can live it’s life with a better owner and better lifestyle suited for him then have everyone shame someone to keep their dog and both parties are miserable the entire time.

 

[channtheman]

@johndoe590 I think its weird they went and got another dog so quick and named them the same, but also at 1.5 yrs if the dog is having actual biting challenges (nippy could just be word choice, you don’t know what they mean)it could’ve been unsafe for them or also the dog to stay. (Example: if the dog might bite a child in the home they are in they’d likely be put down, so it’s better to rehome to one without a child. Just a small example). Now I would have recommended trying to rehome if it’s really needed, not putting them in a shelter where it’ll be really hard to adopt with a biting history. Also wouldn’t have immediately gotten another dog and named it the same, that’s for sure!! But I do think that a dog that bites at 1.5 could actually have serious challenges to keeping in whatever home they’re in, depending on what is the trigger for the biting. It could lead to a better life for that dog to rehome them if for example they are reactive to something unavoidable where they currently live. Doesn’t excuse the immediate purchase of another dog and naming the same, and hopefully they tried training a while before coming to this decision

 

[matchfox]

@johndoe590 I don't know why you expect this neighbour to share anything with you about challenges with his dog. I am very private and would never share this kind of information with anyone outside my social circle. Admittedly it is against social norms to give the same name to the next dog, but is it actually hurting anyone? One of my uncle's was given a 2nd tier name because his parents that ight he would die young and wanted to save their favourite name for the next son. THAT is hurtful... This is just odd.

 

[johndoe590]

@matchfox Yeah that’s a good point honestly!

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@johndoe590 A dog around 1 year old with no bite inhibition sounds like a problem. You didn't own B, he did and he knows why he rehomed it. People need to stop acting like rehoming is the worst thing you can do to a dog.

 

[brianps]

@johndoe590 I have mixed feelings about this one for sure. On one hand, a dog is a commitment and anyone adopting any dog needs to be ready to do whatever is in their power to give the pup a good quality of life. Trading in a dog when things get a little rough is definitely irresponsible. But there are also something’s that someone cannot manage in their house safely, and that puts both the dog and the family at risk.

I also think, especially in cases like these, that sometimes people don’t say how bad things are. OP mentioned the neighbor saying training was going good over the 6 months he had him. But the neighbor may have not wanted to share deeper struggles that were going on. People often feel guilty or shamed if they are unsuccessful at addressing an issue, even if the failure is not their fault.

I have personally been through that. About six years ago I adopted a dog that I was told was very friendly with kids. Upon bringing him home we learned he had really bad separation anxiety, alert barking issues, and was very nippy. Some of these things were things I could deal with, manage and train, and I contacted a trainer immediately to start the process. After a close call regarding the dogs nipping and my eight year old, the trainer said to me “You need to consider that you might not be the right home for him.” And that was it. I took him back, full of sadness and shame for failing him. Two weeks later I saw him pulling a teenager on a skateboard down a street in another neighborhood, happier than I could ever make him. For years I thought I wasn’t capable of owning a dog based on that experience. I felt so guilty that I didn’t want to let another dog down. I didn’t tell anyone how bad some of the issues really were. Lots of people were surprised when they learned I had returned him, particularly because I had professionally work led with animals. This guy might have put in the effort and realized he hit a point he couldn’t pass.

Or he might be an irresponsible dog owner.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@johndoe590 So… this hits close-ish to home.

I grew up with my family having multiple dogs throughout the years. Recently, my retired father wanted to go the adoption route (puppies would be too much work), and started a week with a rescue. Within two days it was clear that “low energy and well trained” was overstated and the new dog became a serious flight risk and/or bite risk. Family has young grandchildren, so it just wasn’t an option and he returned the dog to the shelter for rehoming.

Was double adamant about characteristics and was given a 2 year old rescue. Same thing: extremely high energy and bite risk. Non-aggressive dominance issues to the point where it was uncomfortable to be alone with the dog. They decided to hire a trainer, but it is a massive work in progress and during the holidays there were worrying moments of regression.

So: honestly, it’s a difficult situation. I think when adopting you should be clear of your priorities and energy level and recognize that this means that 75%+ dogs will not be available to you. BUT, shelters should not hand out dogs with the hope of getting rid of them, knowing it might not be a good fit. There’s a dog out there for everyone, and yes, all dogs can be trained out of most behaviours. But, frankly, not everyone has that energy to do so and this can exacerbate issues and cause dangerous situations.

My advice to you: don’t judge your neighbour. You don’t know the entirety of the situation through your interactions and everybody is entitled to their own level of comfort, provided a dog is not getting abused (and this can actually help stop abuse).

As for the naming, chalk it up as weird and move on. It doesn’t say much about his view on dogs, as much as it says he has an odd attachment to a name. Perhaps he had an old dog, perhaps it makes him happy: a name is meant to inspire connection and relation between animal and human (which might indicate a new one), not to be some mystical permanent identifier for an individual throughout their life. If that was the case, why would anyone change the adoption name to begin with?

 

[johndoe590]

@imagebeastmarkbeast Yeah this is a good view point. I don’t know the entire situation and I didn’t know the dog as well as his owner obviously. I also didn’t consider the possibility of him having an attachment the name, just struck me as insensitive initially.

Thank you for the kind advice! It’s easier to judge a situation from the outside looking in.

 

[seekingredemption]

@johndoe590 If you feel bad for judging them, I will gladly do it for you no worries

 

[johndoe590]

@seekingredemption Ugh, thank you. I don’t even want to talk to him anymore or let my puppy play with the new dog. Plus I’m secretly thinking that this new dog won’t have much time either if he’s not perfectly behaved. Looks to be young and part lab / part pit bull so again, high energy and I’m sure a little nippy with lots of training needed. People suck!

 

[seekingredemption]

@johndoe590 A lab and pit mix for someone who returned a dog who was too high energy and nippy is really not the best idea…

The pettiest idea would be to adopt « former » B and train him to become the most perfect and loved dog. 2 wins : B would get a loving home and it would spite the neighbour.

 

[rapturewatcher]

@johndoe590 Mind your business maybe?

 

[lisa613]

@johndoe590 If he felt that dog didn't fit his lifestyle, I think it's better to find a dog that does than keep a dog you may not like or provide the right home to.

If the dog is as great as you say it was hopefully it finds a new home. Service dogs get moved often to new homed for training purposes. So one person could raise the puppy for a year and it then goes to it's new trainer for another year. Then if it passes to a person that needs it. So there is nothing wrong with a dog having multiple homes if it is cared for.

 

[levend]

@lisa613 You comparing this situation to service dogs is actually straight absurd.

 

[tillerman5320]

@levend Why is it absurd? Puppy raisers keep a dog from 8-12 weeks and then it is removed to begin more structured training or to go to its placement at 1-2 years. And a service dog can have multiple handlers in its lifetime. It is a common occurrence. Or dogs who wash from service work (which more than half do) are then placed in new homes.

 

[lisa613]

@levend

 

[hyojyang88]

@johndoe590 You let the dog’s name slip in paragraph two.. just wanted to let you know since you made an effort of writing “B” everywhere else. This does sound super frustrating!

 

[busymom340]

@hyojyang88 Why are we worried about the dog’s privacy?

 

[seekingredemption]

@busymom340 It’s not about the dog’s privacy but about OP’s privacy. If the neighbour has Reddit, they might recognise OP.

 

[busymom340]

@seekingredemption If I were the neighbor I could recognize it just from the story.