throwawaymana
New member
@harsin101 Lmfaoooo. Enter in that “testing cheats true / daycare_allday_free”
So embarrassing to post but: I’m drained, and i feel like I was lied to about getting a puppy
- Thread starter gym_class_hero
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@gym_class_hero I’m a med student with a 4 month puppy, so I can totally understand how hard and exhausted it can be to balance school obligations with what it seems to take to be a “good pet parent”. I think other folks have summed it up well that she is needing more stimulation or enrichment. Walks, playtime, and training are all great options but they take a lot of energy from you too. My favorite low-energy (for me) enrichment is to stand or lean against the kitchen counter and throw single pieces of kibble in different directions. Wait until she’s making eye contact before throwing each piece. This works as mental and physical stimulation as well as teaches focus and eye coordination.
matthew181216
New member
@gym_class_hero Totally understand how stressful this is. Frenchies are hard. I fell in love with the breed years before I got my girl because of their fun personality. But the first years of having her were incredibly tough and it took so so so long to find our rhythm. That fun personality is effing obstinate. There were many times along the way when I was afraid I was starting to hate her for being challenging. I feel you
But they're FANTASTIC apartment dogs so don't let that discourage you. I think a lot of the other suggestions here are very good (big am walks, dog walker during the day, snuffle mat, daycare or play dates, etc) and helped my girl. I did have to briefly re-home her with my parents for a year when I took a particularly challenging job and I felt like I wouldn't give her the life she needed. I'm exceptionally glad it was only a year and I felt guilty the whole time. But I had to get real with myself about the situation and what I ultimately wanted. Then I made a structured deal with my parents so there was no mistake that she was ending up with me (I paid all dog expenses, outlined visiting, etc)
I'm so so glad it all worked out and that she's been my little muffin for 11 years... but full disclosure when we finally felt ready to introduce another dog, I chose a different breed. Frenchies are amazing but so hard and I am so sorry you feel overwhelmed. Whatever needs to happen, please make sure you're taking the best care of yourself and your pup. That's the best any of us can do
But they're FANTASTIC apartment dogs so don't let that discourage you. I think a lot of the other suggestions here are very good (big am walks, dog walker during the day, snuffle mat, daycare or play dates, etc) and helped my girl. I did have to briefly re-home her with my parents for a year when I took a particularly challenging job and I felt like I wouldn't give her the life she needed. I'm exceptionally glad it was only a year and I felt guilty the whole time. But I had to get real with myself about the situation and what I ultimately wanted. Then I made a structured deal with my parents so there was no mistake that she was ending up with me (I paid all dog expenses, outlined visiting, etc)
I'm so so glad it all worked out and that she's been my little muffin for 11 years... but full disclosure when we finally felt ready to introduce another dog, I chose a different breed. Frenchies are amazing but so hard and I am so sorry you feel overwhelmed. Whatever needs to happen, please make sure you're taking the best care of yourself and your pup. That's the best any of us can do
daughterofgod25
New member
@gym_class_hero If you really hate her like you say, please rehome to a loving care provider. No puppy deserves to be hated by its owner.
@gym_class_hero I felt this way a couple months of go and it did, eventually and very slowly, get better. That being said, if it’s what’s best for you and pup you can most certainly rehome. There’s no shame in admitting when things aren’t working. Good luck!
ps: soup bones. I used so many soup bones
ps: soup bones. I used so many soup bones
@gym_class_hero Assuming you have school for a chunk of hours I’d suggest either having a friend come walk the dog midday or scheduling a dog walker/sitter to come play with her or walk her a little to break up the time in the crate when you are gone.
Also learn signs of her being tired or overstimulated. Some of what you think is endless energy might actually be her getting tired or over stimulated. When my puppy gets tired he starts getting bitey or I have to chase him around the house and he gets riled up.
Also learn signs of her being tired or overstimulated. Some of what you think is endless energy might actually be her getting tired or over stimulated. When my puppy gets tired he starts getting bitey or I have to chase him around the house and he gets riled up.
tulips6219
New member
@gym_class_hero Your dog is a highly adoptable breed and still a puppy, she’s be easy to place in a new home. If you feel like you resent her then I’d let her go to a home that would cherish her. Your breeder may have had you sign paperwork agreeing to return her if it doesn’t work out so I’d check that first. Otherwise a rescue can help you find her a home.
@gym_class_hero
You shouldn't feel like that. Owning a dog should bring joy to your life, not feeling like it's an unending horror show where you hate the dog.
Did she come from a breeder? If she did, contact the breeder and arrange to send her back.
What you should not do is re-home this dog on your own, especially if she's intact. Some asshat will bullshit you into selling her to them, and she'll wind up producing BYB Frenchies. They are a super popular breed right now, and people think they can make money off of puppies.
Don't let that happen to her: if you don't like the dog, you won't assess a new home properly especially with a lack of dog experience. Let the breeder handle finding her a new home.
You shouldn't feel like that. Owning a dog should bring joy to your life, not feeling like it's an unending horror show where you hate the dog.
Did she come from a breeder? If she did, contact the breeder and arrange to send her back.
What you should not do is re-home this dog on your own, especially if she's intact. Some asshat will bullshit you into selling her to them, and she'll wind up producing BYB Frenchies. They are a super popular breed right now, and people think they can make money off of puppies.
Don't let that happen to her: if you don't like the dog, you won't assess a new home properly especially with a lack of dog experience. Let the breeder handle finding her a new home.
firebynight
New member
@davecb I needed to see this. Currently struggling to meet the needs of my VERY energetic Velcro pup (Doberman). Being 35 weeks pregnant, a full-time student, a mom to a kindergartener, and my husband’s work schedule constantly changing, I’m starting to resent my pup. And it’s not her fault, she’s an incredibly sweet pup but I just can’t give her the time and attention she needs. I feel awful for considering rehoming her but she deserves better 
@firebynight That sounds rough. Really, really rough. There aren't enough hours in the day sort of rough.
Did she come from a breeder? And how old is she?
I feel awful for considering rehoming her but she deserves better
Did she come from a breeder? And how old is she?
firebynight
New member
@firebynight
If you really think that you can't keep her (and I totally get that), call the breeder. Tell her your issues and ask that she take her back.
A good breeder would rather that, then have her end up in a very bad situation.
I tell people to never re-home on their own if at all possible. Either loop the breeder in, talk to a rescue group or a shelter.
Good luck to you regardless and don't let anyone tell you you have to keep this dog, if it's mentally and emotionally dangerous for you right now.
If you really think that you can't keep her (and I totally get that), call the breeder. Tell her your issues and ask that she take her back.
A good breeder would rather that, then have her end up in a very bad situation.
I tell people to never re-home on their own if at all possible. Either loop the breeder in, talk to a rescue group or a shelter.
Good luck to you regardless and don't let anyone tell you you have to keep this dog, if it's mentally and emotionally dangerous for you right now.
firebynight
New member
@firebynight
People don't understand that life happens.
The best dog I ever found for someone else was a return to a breeder. A year old, already spayed, UTD on vaccines, housebroken Golden, for my MIL.
Best dog ever with grandkids and if I could find another one like that, I'd drive pretty much anywhere to bring her back home. We drove 900 miles round trip for her, and it was so worth it!!
People don't understand that life happens.
The best dog I ever found for someone else was a return to a breeder. A year old, already spayed, UTD on vaccines, housebroken Golden, for my MIL.
Best dog ever with grandkids and if I could find another one like that, I'd drive pretty much anywhere to bring her back home. We drove 900 miles round trip for her, and it was so worth it!!
@knicole97
yup!! I recently found a young Golden bitch for a friend of mine. The bitch was going to be very hard to finish in the breed ring (she's a little small), but she was already housebroken and very used to crazy things as she had been shown for about six months.
Now she lives with a bunch of other dogs, and has grandkids who adore her.
Returns to a breeder are wins for everyone.
yup!! I recently found a young Golden bitch for a friend of mine. The bitch was going to be very hard to finish in the breed ring (she's a little small), but she was already housebroken and very used to crazy things as she had been shown for about six months.
Now she lives with a bunch of other dogs, and has grandkids who adore her.
Returns to a breeder are wins for everyone.
dundermifflinfarmer
New member
@firebynight Don’t feel judged. It’s absolutely OK and happens all the time.
What is “judge-worthy” is when people dump these dogs at shelters.. but ethically re homing or returning to the breeder is an absolutely decent thing to do.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. You have SO much on your plate and a Doberman is a tough dog to manage at any stage, especially with small kids.
What is “judge-worthy” is when people dump these dogs at shelters.. but ethically re homing or returning to the breeder is an absolutely decent thing to do.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. You have SO much on your plate and a Doberman is a tough dog to manage at any stage, especially with small kids.
@firebynight You really have your hands full. There is no shame in doing what is best for both you and your dog.
I got my current dog when she was six months old. The people that I got her from loved the heck out of her, but recognized that she was a clingy little girl that wasn't happy unless she could be around her people 24 hours a day, and that just wasn't practical for them. Our lifestyle and work schedules ensured that she would be able to be with one of us almost constantly. She has matured into a confident, social, outgoing sweetheart of a dog. She still prefers to be with us constantly, and we take her almost everywhere, but she does fine if she needs to be left home alone for a few hours. I am eternally grateful that her original family realized that they couldn't meet her needs and that we were able to take her in. I can't imagine not having had her in my life the past six years.
I got my current dog when she was six months old. The people that I got her from loved the heck out of her, but recognized that she was a clingy little girl that wasn't happy unless she could be around her people 24 hours a day, and that just wasn't practical for them. Our lifestyle and work schedules ensured that she would be able to be with one of us almost constantly. She has matured into a confident, social, outgoing sweetheart of a dog. She still prefers to be with us constantly, and we take her almost everywhere, but she does fine if she needs to be left home alone for a few hours. I am eternally grateful that her original family realized that they couldn't meet her needs and that we were able to take her in. I can't imagine not having had her in my life the past six years.
@gym_class_hero Many good points have been made in this thread. My only add is to suggest additional training and enrichment to your routine, possibly to replace walking or some play. It really uses a lot of puppy brain energy to learn tricks, work on obedience skills like sit-stay, or do a puzzle enrichment game for their regular food. I put at least one meal for my puppy in a puzzle per day and it definitely tires him out.
I have a large sporting breed in a high rise 1BR and work a time intensive job. There are ways to get your pup the stimulation it needs efficiently - puzzles, training sessions, and free sniffing new scents can go a long way to tire out a puppy brain.
Good luck!
I have a large sporting breed in a high rise 1BR and work a time intensive job. There are ways to get your pup the stimulation it needs efficiently - puzzles, training sessions, and free sniffing new scents can go a long way to tire out a puppy brain.
Good luck!