My dog isn’t safe around my baby. Is it time for BE?

[mjm13]

My dog is a German Shepherd mix (probably pit bull, knowing my hometown). To be clear, we did not want a pit bull. He looked like a sweet little German shepherd puppy when we brought him home from the local rescue. However, his head shape started to change as he grew up.

This dog is one of the best dogs ever. He would die for me, my wife, and our daughter. He’s proven himself to be protective and has put himself between my daughter and perceived threats on multiple occasions. However, he’s extremely dangerous around anyone else, including my 1-year-old baby (we are extremely cautious with him).

Here are the red flags:

• As a puppy, he bit a young man after getting agitated by another dog that was barking at him. My dog was sitting next to me, but he was clearly anxious because of the other dog's aggression. A guy walked by us from behind somewhat quickly, and my dog bit him. It was a bad bite. The guy loves dogs and didn’t hold any hard feelings.
• Prior to this, he nipped at a friend's leg while my friend was playing with my daughter. My friend had some bruising and a scratch from the nip. Given the way it all happened, I think he was being protective of my daughter.
• A man walked up behind my pregnant wife and startled her; my dog (on a leash) bit the guy's shoe. No injury was caused.
• He doesn’t form bonds with people outside of our family. We’ve had several people spend time with him to the extent that he is obedient and safe. On the next occasion, it’s like he’s forgotten who they are.

These instances all took place in the first year of owning him. We’ve had him for 3 years now. I have trained him, and I hired a K9 handler to train him with me further.

The K9 handler said my dog is better trained than some dogs he’s seen on the police force. He said he’s better trained than most of the dogs that finish his program.

My dog will stay right next to me off-leash and will not leave until I dismiss him. I’ve had aggressive dogs charge us, and he stays put. He’s extremely smart and very loyal. He’s incredibly obedient to me. He did not show any signs of aggression until he bonded with us.

Last night, my son (1 year old) crawled toward the back door, and I watched my dog charge at him, snarling, barking, and snapping at the door. He was corrected immediately.

What’s crazy to me is that my dog is perfectly safe around my 6 year old daughter. He’s gentle, patient, obedient, and protective. He growled at her early on over food, but that was corrected and he’s stopped that.

I love my dog, but is it time to put him down?

Appreciate any questions or feedback.

Edit 1: I plan to explore options to rehome him with the K9 handler. We talked about possible security fit for him. I need to make sure I’m legally protected and not liable if he bites someone.

Edit 2: giving him up to a shelter is not an option. In our city, he will almost certainly be put down and I won’t be there to comfort him.

 

[ymlgarcia]

@mjm13 There are other options than putting your dog down. Keep him away from children, but at least attempt rehoming him or finding a shelter that can try. If that proves fruitless, then I suppose euthanasia is your only choice.

 

[timothy2016]

@ymlgarcia Euthanasia is by definition a merciful death. It happens with sick people who can't tolerate living anymore. This is just murder.

 

[burns7272]

@mjm13 that's really scary. what if you hadn't been there? if something happened in the future you would probably never forgive yourself.

 

[mjm13]

@burns7272 Our house rules are really rigid with the dogs. To clarify, my dog was outside and my son inside. The door was closed. We never leave the baby alone when the dogs are inside. (We have a second German shepherd and she’s just a gentle sweetheart). The dogs aren’t allowed to roam in the house. They stay put in one spot by the back door.

But yes, if something happened I would never forgive myself. But that’s why the rules we have have been in place.

 

[burns7272]

@mjm13 ah yeah i see, i'm glad to hear you take full precautions. as i'm sure you know though, as kids get older and more capable of wandering off, things can be pretty unpredictable. if your dog already reacts aggressively to him, who knows if that's something that will go away.

when i was 15 my sister had a german shepherd and a rottweiler and one day out of nowhere they just started to test out attacking me. i was all alone in the yard with them. they were lunging and nipping, and not in a playful way. it was really terrifying. after a while they stopped and left me alone because i stayed mostly calm, but it could have easily turned into something way worse. they never did it again, but i never felt safe around them afterwards.

i could see waiting to see if your dog improves around him as he gets older, but the worst case scenario could happen in an instant. definitely very risky if you do decide to see how it goes.

really terrible position to be put into. i'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

 

[mjm13]

@burns7272 My goodness that sounds terrifying. I once had a German shepherd tackle me and put his teeth on my leg. Didn’t bite down, but it was like he made me submit. I was about 7 years old - terrified me.

Thank you for your kind words.

 

[hesta]

@mjm13 Perhaps a rehome to somewhere without children? Some dogs just can’t do small kids

 

[cathya]

@mjm13 I strongly recommend looking into subreddits for dog with this sort of behavior, they have tons of advice and people who are going through or who have been through the same thing.

I’m gonna be frank rescues won’t take a dog with a bite history— they are a huge liability because you can never be 100% sure that the dog will be placed with owners that take this behavior seriously enough that nobody gets hurt by this dog.

I got a dog from a rescue and it hurt a kid because its history with kids was seriously minimized (intentionally or unintentionally)… The dog was aggressive to kids and it’s very fortunate the poor kid who had to find that out knew Dogsafe/Be a Tree training.

This isn’t a sad ending, it’s a happy one. You took this dog into an excellent home and gave it every advantage, great training and professional opinions. Because of you this dog was able to live a high quality life without permanently injuring anyone. Dogs have no concept of lifespan. I think you are totally right that this dog would break down if rehomed and would be euthanized— but not in the loving arms of trusted people. In the back of a shelter.

You could invite the opinion of a CPDT, an IAABC behaviorist or a veterinary behaviorist (a vet with a specialization in dog behavior disorders) but I think they would tell you to give him a final sendoff in love. Your kid comes first.

 

[mjm13]

@cathya Man, literally tearing up reading this. Thank you for taking the time.

I’ll connect with a veterinarian friend tomorrow and ask for reputable resources in the way of behaviorists.

Your comment about this not being a sad ending means a lot. Thanks again.

 

[cathya]

@mjm13 The hardest thing about owning a challenging dog is saying goodbye. But he will come through in all you do in handling dogs, his lessons will stay with you and you will use them every day.

 

[3rdeye]

@mjm13 I had a similar situation. had my shepherd trained by the same guy that trained dogs for the state troopers. but then we had a baby. I was a little concerned bc she didn't seem to love kids. but everyone said she'd be fine with ours. she was great in many ways but ended up biting our child when he was 1 above the eye. unprovoked. I called the trainer, who I knew would be honest, and he said no dog should bite anyone ever. especially unprovoked. she is unsafe and should not be rehomed bc she is a danger. I called my vet who said the same thing. and said there are millions of dogs that need a home who are fine with kids. you can't rehome a dog who bites bc it's irresponsible. your dog has bitten on several occasions and has shown aggression to your child. that dog, unfortunately, is unsafe around anyone. and there's nowhere he could go that would be completely devoid of kids. he could encounter them anywhere. I'm so very sorry to support your thoughts on putting him down. putting our dog down was horrible, and people were not very understanding about it, but it was absolutely the right thing to do. since you've posted this, my guess is that you know the answer already. you can't put your dog above your baby's safety. that dog will bite. you won't always be there to catch him before he attacks. and kids touch dogs and pull fur and tails. highly dangerous situation. my deepest sympathies. please make the right decision here.

 

[mjm13]

@3rdeye Thank you for sharing your story and for taking time to comment on this. I keep going in circles because my dog is great with my daughter (she’s 6 so we had her before we got the dog).

I think he just bonded with the three of us and has t gotten used to baby… I keep thinking things like, “maybe he couldn’t tell it was the baby through the glass” - which is truly possible. It just doesn’t help that I already have so many other reasons to be concerned…

Thank you again. I have some options to explore tomorrow, but I refuse to consider rehoming him unless it’s to a possible security situation that he would be cut out for.

 

[3rdeye]

@mjm13 I know you have to get there on your own, but...unfortunately, no one will take a dog with a history of aggression. and think about this... if they do, you wouldn't want your dog with them bc they're likely not going to treat him well and possibly make him more aggressive. and if someone got seriously hurt, you'd feel awful, and he'd be put down anyway. the whole situation is so unfair and very sad. I'm so sorry if it sounds like I'm pushing you. not my intention.

 

[mjm13]

@3rdeye I do agree with you. I only am open to rehoming because the K9 handler knows of some guys that run a security company who may benefit from my dog. I believe that a man who loves dogs and has a clear cut purpose for him could be a possible rehoming scenario. It’s unlikely… I just feel like I owe it to my dog to give him the best I can.

I do believe it’s possible that I’ve already given him his best and it’s time to for him to sleep. I just love the dog and need to work out all possible scenarios.

 

[3rdeye]

@mjm13 agreed. best of luck!

 

[christiannina2017]

@mjm13 Why don’t you at least try to rehome him if he is well behaved so much of the time? Yes he has some red flags but dogs also make mistakes. Be honest about his history and hopefully you can a perfect home for him

 

[mjm13]

@christiannina2017 I plan to explore some options a with the K9 handler this weekend. There may be a security job for him. He could thrive in that situation if he bonds with a new owner.

 

[missmae]

@mjm13 As a dog lover, I would not have one of my dogs around kids if they had any adverse behaviours, not worth the risk.

In the past I had a German shepherd rescue, it was like she had a neurological switch that flipped one day, she ended up circling people while snarling, I pit her down, even tho she was the sweetest dog inside the house with just me and my partner.

I’m sorry you are going through this.

 

[mjm13]

@missmae I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go down that road. Thank you for your kind words and taking time to read and respond.