I can’t do this anymore

@englishreformed I’m so sorry you have been constantly gaslit. It’s so frustrating that people can’t understand that when you have a dog with serious issues, you have to stick to a strict protocol in order to help them.

I have been following a training program for my reactive/dog aggressive dog for almost two years and I do not allow ANYONE to pet my dog when he is on his leash. For some reason, some of my friends don’t think this should apply to them. It’s so frustrating when those closest to you act like you are a bad person for looking out for your dogs best interest, instead of just satisfying their selfish needs.

Sending love during this impossible time❤️
 
@englishreformed I totally feel you. My Aussie is just like this and it’s exhausting. It does get better though. After multiple trainers I finally found one that made all the difference and our lives are so different now. My dog bit multiple people and drove me to the brink but he wasn’t a lost cause. Please don’t get too down on yourself!
 
@providenciaet This was my major takeaway!!

When we adopted our reactive rescue, one of my partners friends insisted on meeting her the day after we got her because he was moving away the next day and loved dogs. I was really uncomfortable with it but said if he just popped in it was OK, but he stayed for ages and she just stared at him the entire time with a real intensity. He tried to pat her goodbye and she nipped him. I tried to be sympathetic but I'm afraid I was on the dogs side and mostly just annoyed that the friend had forcing his way into her space! It is not the dogs fault, the dog doesn't know what's happening or why it's in a new environment and that is scary for any dog, let alone a reactive dog.
 
@providenciaet Absolutely! It can take up to six months for a dog to truly settle and show their true colours. The poor thing is waaaay overstimulated , over whelmed and probably scared :(
 
@englishreformed Why the hell do you think it was ok that the dog was being forced to interact with so many ppl on a trial run? Of course they bit. The fact they haven’t in past means they felt so scared and out of control. I wouldn’t let this person adopt even if they still wanted to. How irresponsible.
 
@imagebeastmarkbeast Yeah, sounds like way too much too soon.

The bit that stood out to me is 'a few hours before' you have a reactive dog who has a history of being concerned around strangers who is surrounded by them for hours tolerance, threshold raising my goodness.

The first thing I was taught with my stranger reactive dog (who is a bite risk) is that even 2-5 mins can be too much, and to get your good note and end early. Pup should have been away from humans after the first 30 mins max.
 
@englishreformed This is crazy. I don’t think this was an “out of the blue” bite at all. Your dog is in a strange place with strange people and being introduced to strangers? This is not as you stated “the right way”. The dog should be allowed to adjust and decompress properly as well as get to know the people (potential adopters) and environment.

I know dogs that show aggression can be stressful and I’m sorry it got to this point for you but whatsoever you do, keep in mind this is not the dogs fault so I hope this little pup doesn’t get punished for the mistake of that handler/other person.

I have a friend who has a dog with some behavioral issues and when new people come over we tell them how to act so that the dog doesn’t react negatively to them. Despite telling people exactly what to do, what has to happen, and how to do it, I’m amazed how many people walk in and say “I’ve been around dogs all my life and know how to deal with reactive dogs” and stick their hand in the dogs face (which is exactly what we tell people not to do).

Way too many people had a dog 15 years ago and think “I can now handle any dog” despite the fact that they literally have no idea what to do or how to do it. I don’t know if that is what happened here but it certainly sounds like it. I just hope the dog doesn’t continue to shoulder the blame for these actions. I would get your dog together with a trainer that knows how to handle reactivity preferably in a positive way as it really benefits the dog long term. Anyway good luck. I hope things get better and easier very quickly for you.
 
@englishreformed I don't want to sound unkind because I know you're reaching out for help and support during a really stressful moment, so I will try to be gentle when i say please, please do not consider BE for one "out of the blue" bite.

Barking excessively is not nearly enough reason to say your dog is aggressive and biting a stranger in a strange environment that your dog does not comprehend is normal and understandable. My dog has nipped people and bitten dogs, she now wears a muzzle and after having her for a year she doesn't show any signs of aggression anymore. If she can do it so can your dog. Stay with it until you find him somewhere safe with people who understand what's happening in his head, please.
 
@ambi3333 Thank you for being gentle with your message because I really am in a pretty bad mental state because my dog biting was my deepest fear. But after some reflecting and trying to look at the situation objectively I do understand why he did it. It is ultimately my fault and I don’t think my dog is downright aggressive. I know him and know that everything for him stems from fear. And so BE was something I mentioned because I was afraid if the person that got bit would demand some sort of action, or the rescue wouldn’t take my dog. I, at this point, know that my home isn’t the best for my dog. But I also really do not want to take my dog to a shelter. I know that, that would just make things 1 millionX worse for him. So that was my fear and bad thoughts coming into play. But I know with my care and muzzle training, I can keep him in a decent spot until the rescue has a space. I’ve been waiting for a space to open this whole time.
 
@englishreformed Oh mate, I'm really sorry, this sounds so stressful and I'm glad you posted to talk it out. I hope no one's been to brutal but if they have, remember the Internet is generally horrible and its not a reflection of you.

Something to remember is, and this is a little controversial, a bite isn't the end of the world. When my dog nipped a guest and when she bit a puppy for the first time, I went COLD. I was petrified and I pictured dog catchers knocking down my door and sweeping her away. Just remember that your responsibility is to make sure your dog is under control. You learn how much control they need by making mistakes. You know now that, if you need to rehome your dog, which it sounds like you do, you need to introduce them even slower and tell them not to introduce anyone else until theyre settled (maybe even months after getting him!)

You can call a shelter and talk to them. They will understand and they can hopefully offer some tips, I think you'll find you're not the first person they've met with a reactive dog! Good luck, keep us updated.
 
@ambi3333 I wouldn’t recommend calling a shelter. A rescue if anything… shelters will put down a dog for looking at them wrong. If the dog has bitten, no way they’ll let him live
 
@englishreformed You say no warning signs but there were probably warning signs and no one saw them, because most people just can’t tell what a dog is really feeling. Definitely the person’s fault.
 
@englishreformed It's like someone you know who cannot swim, and you have been trying with them to get them a bit more and more comfortable with swimming, but you know they still can't swim.

Then they go with someone else who thinks, they should be able to swim, and they throw them into the water.
 
@englishreformed I'm sorry this happened.

But this person was about to adopt your reactive dog, and they decided to not only just work with getting your dog used to themselves, but thought it's a good idea to introduce him to a bunch of new people and guests and get them to pet your dog too? Who would think this may not go well..
 
@englishreformed Call the rescue. This dog needs special care and training and it can take up to six months to see a dog settle down and show it’s true colours. One weekend is not going to show how the dog would be in that home and he already bit someone.

Clearly this person has no idea how to handle a reactive dog (and I guarantee you there were warning signs. There always are, some people just don’t see them) and the it’s in the dogs best interest to be handled by someone experienced.

Good luck op ❤️
 
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