@hogynllan First thing I appreciated about my trainer was when he told the class that we shouldn't blame ourselves for our dogs' reactivity because it's a genetic disposition; and sometimes all it takes is a bad experience to tip the scales on that disposition. Just like some people are more prone to trauma responses than others.
Enough is enough
- Thread starter jackih
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momoftwoteens
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@jackih Honestly, this "blame the owner not the dog" discourse has become utter condescending BS. It should mean "no dog breed or individual dog should be blamed if their owner is an aloof, careless dork and lets them off when they shouldn't and doesn't take necessary precautions to safeguard others", but it has now turned into "if you dog displays ANY sign of aggression regardless of context it means you're a bad person who should have your ownership revoked".
I saw a reel yesterday of a lady talking about her reactive dog (GSD so not at all uncommon) and some douche decided to go "the dog is a reflection of the owner..." Just what the F did that person hope to achieve by saying that? Be generally unpleasant and someone unfit to live in society? Good thing the profile gave him a well-suited response.
I saw a reel yesterday of a lady talking about her reactive dog (GSD so not at all uncommon) and some douche decided to go "the dog is a reflection of the owner..." Just what the F did that person hope to achieve by saying that? Be generally unpleasant and someone unfit to live in society? Good thing the profile gave him a well-suited response.
@momoftwoteens THIS.
Douchey-judgey people who waltz into your space like there's this magical Perfect Dog Switch that you haven't switched ON on your dog, so it's your fault.
Meanwhile, their dog is holding it together by their toenails because your dog is reactive, and they think that's ok.
Douchey-judgey people who waltz into your space like there's this magical Perfect Dog Switch that you haven't switched ON on your dog, so it's your fault.
Meanwhile, their dog is holding it together by their toenails because your dog is reactive, and they think that's ok.
@kalwa I wanted to scream! We were in a parking lot, a massive parking lot, and I was parked in the most far away spot. There is no reason to park here. There is ample room at the beginning of the lot.
And this jerk parks almost right next to me, gets out with his dog, and then gives me the nastiest look while walking towards me! And of course my girl lost her shit and we had been doing so great at not reacting.
Like I get my dog is the asshole, which is why I parked in Siberia.
And this jerk parks almost right next to me, gets out with his dog, and then gives me the nastiest look while walking towards me! And of course my girl lost her shit and we had been doing so great at not reacting.
Like I get my dog is the asshole, which is why I parked in Siberia.
@kalwa This kills me. I have become reactive myself because of people who do these bizarre things! I am overly obvious when avoiding others or when I run into off leash dogs/humans in leashed required areas and people will still follow us.
Off leash dogs set me back training all of the time. Sometimes the human is way behind and they have literal zero recall with their dogs. I hate being an asshole but I will protect my dogs and do whatever I need to do.
Off leash dogs set me back training all of the time. Sometimes the human is way behind and they have literal zero recall with their dogs. I hate being an asshole but I will protect my dogs and do whatever I need to do.
@ernesto96 I don’t understand the off-leash people on, like, the sidewalk. I wouldn’t do that even if my dog was NOT reactive
@jackih I hear you. After attempting to take my dog out and then just crying in the car the whole way home, I’m so sick of seeing random trainers and dog owner influencers on my feed. I feel like I want to delete Instagram, but at the same time the trainers that I actually follow give me hope every once in a while
@jackih What else do I want to add about these short videos. Come on, every one of us can make a 30 sec. video where our reactive dog will behave perfectly. These videos are not representative. The same as this perfect perfect perfect life which many people present in their social media. I agree with one of the comments - there will be something working for your dog. Take it and leave the rest aside
@jackih The dog training industry has honestly become so toxic. I try to steer away from those videos so they don’t pop up on my feed. I just hate how unregulated the dog training field is, anyone can claim they’re a dog trainer and people fall into the quick before and after videos that amateur trainers post when the dog is clearly still uncomfortable as heck. It makes me really sad for some dogs and the owners that don’t know any better.
The amount of times I’ve also run into people that try to give me advice for training my dog is a lot. I call them “el macho” men because they see me, a petite woman and think I don’t know what I’m doing. The last time this happened this guy had his dog on an ecollar that was trying to run up on us MULTIPLE times. I told him my dog doesn’t like to be run up on by random dogs and to please keep his away. My dog stayed with me, calm right by my side. Yet this guy still was struggling trying to keep his away and tried to lecture me on how “his dog is such a great dog for mine to socialize with and we should let them meet” I laughed and said “I don’t like her socializing with rude untrained dogs” and walked away. Some people have such a high ego when it comes to dog training and think they know better than you when it comes to your own dog. I just try to ignore them and keep doing our thing.
The amount of times I’ve also run into people that try to give me advice for training my dog is a lot. I call them “el macho” men because they see me, a petite woman and think I don’t know what I’m doing. The last time this happened this guy had his dog on an ecollar that was trying to run up on us MULTIPLE times. I told him my dog doesn’t like to be run up on by random dogs and to please keep his away. My dog stayed with me, calm right by my side. Yet this guy still was struggling trying to keep his away and tried to lecture me on how “his dog is such a great dog for mine to socialize with and we should let them meet” I laughed and said “I don’t like her socializing with rude untrained dogs” and walked away. Some people have such a high ego when it comes to dog training and think they know better than you when it comes to your own dog. I just try to ignore them and keep doing our thing.
@ruzou The before and afters are awful. I especially hate the ones that are like “we achieved all this success in 30 minutes!” If you put my dog in a high stress situation for 30+ minutes he’ll shut down and stop barking too. It doesn’t mean it will last, in fact in many cases it will probably backfire.
@ruzou Omg let me retrieve my eyeballs from the back of my skull they've rolled so hard, haha. There are so many dudes who get dogs that are extensions of their fragile egos and every time they take those poor dogs out it's like they need to prove something to everyone around them, exhausting.
We were walking in our local botanic garden recently that has huge signs every few feet about keeping dogs on leash, and this big vizsla (off lead) comes running up on my leashed hound - I intercepted (had to be fairly forceful to get them to give us space) and when the owner finally appeared I pointed to the signage and noted the need for their dog to be leashed. I got the helpful feedback that their dog was friendly and I shouldn't have a dog who isn't social in such a busy spot... The hilarious thing is my current dog is social (or I should say as an adult he is a healthy dog neutral, ignores strange dogs but makes friends with appropriate introductions in the right environments), we maintain that by not having uncontrolled interactions with strangers, especially in such unbalanced power dynamics as leashed/unleashed (my last dog was a jalapeno flavoured chaos goblin, and policed other dogs behaviour extensively - after years of a very limited lifestyle, I am fairly keen to avoid situations that will teach my new arrival that yelling at other dogs for being annoying is a great way to get them to fuck off).
I love how now I am on the other end of the equation, the reaction to not wanting your dog to interact with mine is that my dog must be a problem. Conclusion? People, generally, are idiots
We were walking in our local botanic garden recently that has huge signs every few feet about keeping dogs on leash, and this big vizsla (off lead) comes running up on my leashed hound - I intercepted (had to be fairly forceful to get them to give us space) and when the owner finally appeared I pointed to the signage and noted the need for their dog to be leashed. I got the helpful feedback that their dog was friendly and I shouldn't have a dog who isn't social in such a busy spot... The hilarious thing is my current dog is social (or I should say as an adult he is a healthy dog neutral, ignores strange dogs but makes friends with appropriate introductions in the right environments), we maintain that by not having uncontrolled interactions with strangers, especially in such unbalanced power dynamics as leashed/unleashed (my last dog was a jalapeno flavoured chaos goblin, and policed other dogs behaviour extensively - after years of a very limited lifestyle, I am fairly keen to avoid situations that will teach my new arrival that yelling at other dogs for being annoying is a great way to get them to fuck off).
I love how now I am on the other end of the equation, the reaction to not wanting your dog to interact with mine is that my dog must be a problem. Conclusion? People, generally, are idiots
@booboo222 Yup! Its always the entitlement of the owner. Those types of owners are the absolute worst. Will never get why it is so hard for them to understand that not everyone wants to be approached by a strange dog even if they’re “friendly”. Its like they lack common sense in those situations and could care less about their own dog’s safety.
@jackih Honestly, I’ve come to realize that 99% of dog trainers would have put my dog down or forced her to live in horrendous conditions. (Likely with much worse results than my dog currently has!)
It’s sort of freeing to realize many, many trainers are all flash and no substance. Half these methods are designed for dogs that are only mild frustrated greeters or truly not human aggressive at all! The other half are like your dog could harm a human, better suplex them into the floor until they “know” you’re a boss. It’s very rare to find someone who will deal with aggression without being an aggressive human in return.
I’m starting to think the phrase should be “it’s not the owner, usually not the dog, but typically the trainer” because I see people do the worst things to “improve” dog behavior.
It’s sort of freeing to realize many, many trainers are all flash and no substance. Half these methods are designed for dogs that are only mild frustrated greeters or truly not human aggressive at all! The other half are like your dog could harm a human, better suplex them into the floor until they “know” you’re a boss. It’s very rare to find someone who will deal with aggression without being an aggressive human in return.
I’m starting to think the phrase should be “it’s not the owner, usually not the dog, but typically the trainer” because I see people do the worst things to “improve” dog behavior.
sailingangel
New member
@jackih As someone who’s worked directly with the shelter I got my dog from’s behaviorist, who knows my dog personally, there is no “right” way to train a reactive dog. Some reactive dogs do perfectly fine on a 4-6 foot lead. Some do better on 10+ feet. Some do fine looking at their owners to deescalate. Some dogs, staring helps. Anyone trying to give you flak for the way YOU train YOUR dog doesn’t know what they’re talking about. You know your dog better than anyone else. If letting her sniff and stare helps her, then let her sniff and stare.
Real dog trainers know that dog training is NOT a universal one-path thing. Dogs are unique from each other. What works for one dog doesn’t necessarily work for another. That’s just reality. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Real dog trainers know that dog training is NOT a universal one-path thing. Dogs are unique from each other. What works for one dog doesn’t necessarily work for another. That’s just reality. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
