Didn’t get enough time with my sweet boy

[christopherinthedepths]

My wife and I had to put our sweet boy Jerry to sleep yesterday. He randomly got really sick and was diagnosed with inflammatory bowel disease. He was originally 45 pounds but the day before he passed, he was 33 pounds. He didn’t really respond to any of the medications he was on and just kept getting worse. He would hardly eat anything. This went on for about a month and we knew the right decision was to put him to sleep. The vet had only given him the anesthesia shot to make him sleepy and he passed before she gave him the shot to stop his heart. I consider that his last gift to us. It removed all doubt that he was ready to go.

The thing that really sucks is that he wasn’t even 3 years old. We got him during covid and I have worked from home since and spent so much time with him. I miss him so much and it seems so hard to comprehend that I will never get to squeeze his squishy face ever again. We had him cremated and just picked up his remains and I cried so hard when I saw his paw print that they gave us. I’m so lost and broken. He was my sweet baby boy and I never thought I would only have 3 years with him. I’m not sure what the point of this post is. I just needed somewhere to vent.

Picture of my sweet boy

https://imgur.com/a/NHzeNez

Please stop with the creepy PMs. I’m a guy.

 

[christopherinthedepths]

We are absolutely going to get another dog but I’m having a really hard time seeing how I could possibly love another dog as much as I loved my little man.

 

[big_sinner]

@christopherinthedepths I lost mine in a similar way last year in January. I was so lucky to get 12 years with him (found him at the pound at 12 weeks old). I’ve had dogs my whole life but my sweet pea was my first dog I got after I moved out. You’re in the worst part of the storm right now and there is nothing that can help but time. I still miss him, I still dream about him, and I sometimes still cry (like while I’m typing this) thinking about him. Time! That’s what helps and it’s different for everyone. Don’t let anyone rush you in to getting another puppy.

Side note: I got some good advice from here that said “think of the goofy things your pup did when you get down”. My boy, when drinking water, always took 3 sips. 1-2-3, pause, 1-2-3, pause. Never 2, never 4, always 3. His urn is a shadow box with a picture of us on one side and his paw print on the other. It took forever to put it on my desk because it hurt so much. Now I look at it and laugh at all the goofiness he brought to my life.

 

[amelia41]

@big_sinner This reminds.me.of.my girl. She loved water. But she would drink from her bowl and refuse to take anymore drinks until her bowl was cleaned and filled with fresh water. So needless to say, I filled that water bowl several times a day, she would go over to it and wait until I dumped it and filled with fresh water. It's been 3 weeks without her, and miss her so much. 13 years of joy with that sweet soul.

 

[bladkins03]

@big_sinner Those little things! I spent some time writing about our dogs, all their little quirks and behaviors. I write about the adventures we go on and the special things they do. I’ve personally found looking back on written details evokes some of the most powerful memories and emotions. I think the act of writing about them could even be therapeutic when the timing is right.

 

[stazzie]

@big_sinner Thank you for this

 

[christianfatherofmany]

@christopherinthedepths I felt the same way after I had to put my last dog down. I ended up getting another dog, and it's hard to explain, but you love them in a different way. Every relationship you have with each dog is different and unique. One isn't necessarily better than another, it's just...different.

 

[georgiew]

@christopherinthedepths I call my Loki ‘little man’ too…I can’t imagine if I were to lose him at the age of 3. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through. I have nightmares at night about scenarios like this. Maybe this poem will help you. I send this to each person I know who’s lost a dog.

https://www.dogheirs.com/dogs-never-die-sleeping-in-heart/

Dogs never die. They are sleeping in your heart.

 

[jaydenx]

@christopherinthedepths Took me a year to get over my Lucky Girl. Had her 10 years. I travel for work and she was always with me, she had been to 24 states, canada and mexico. She was with us when my wife was fighting cancer and was laying beside my wife when she passed. A year and a half later, lucky had cancer and it was bad. Had to put her to sleep. Broke my heart. When your next pup finds you, you’ll know. And don’t be suprised if the new pup has some of Jerry’s mannerisms.
All Dogs Go T Heaven is a firm belief in my heart. Praying for y’all

 

[blacklagoon]

@christopherinthedepths OP, I am sending you a hug. I’m sure you will have another dog to love when you’re ready. You did the right thing for Jerry.

 

[nebula1]

@christopherinthedepths I just want to validate your feelings on this. My current dog feels like my spirit dog and son so I hear you. You seem like you really cared for him and gave Jerry the best life he could have had even thought it got cut short

 

[khadie]

@christopherinthedepths You’ll grow a totally new love for another dog, which won’t temper in any way with the live you hold for this one.

 

[joanneheng]

@christopherinthedepths And yet you will. The only thing that fills a dog-shaped hole in your heart is a dog.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@christopherinthedepths Get a rescue dog. Your dog would have wanted a dog to be saved in his place! He would much rather you save a poor rescue pup then never have another dog!

 

[nastyfrog]

@christopherinthedepths This tells you that your dog was really loved. I’m so sorry for your loss. Give yourself all the time you need.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@christopherinthedepths I lost my Stevie this past November to cancer. She was my first dog. I never thought I could love another dog has much as Stevie. But I adopted Maggie this past February and I think God knew how much I needed her. You will never love a pet the same because every dog is different but you will love them still. Stevie was my first love, everything about her was so perfect and unique. I do love Maggie and our bond is growing. I’m sorry about Jerry, give your heart some time to heal first. It will happen when the time is right.

 

[godsson708]

@christopherinthedepths I understand this concern. My dog Oscar tragically and suddenly passed away a few years ago, he was only young too. He was my mum’s best mate and she was hysterical when he died. She instantly looked for another dog to fill the void and we were concerned about replacing our dog, if we would love our new dog the same etc. It ended up being the best decision getting another dog, Gatsby. Gatsby mended our hearts and helped us through the grief and we love him so much. Someone else here has commented that you love them in a different way and have different relationships with different dogs, and that’s true. They have different personalities and you will appreciate and love them in different ways. Gatsby hasn’t replaced Oscar - we actually tell him about Oscar all the time, show him videos of him etc and honour him by letting him wear some of his old costumes/jumpers etc.

Take your time though. I’m really sorry for your loss, it does get easier. Thinking of you and your doggy Jerry.

 

[solareclipse]

@christopherinthedepths It would have never been enough time:-(

 

[mslady63]

@solareclipse This statement is so true.

 

[christopherinthedepths]

There are so many people commenting and I can’t reply to everyone but thank y’all so much. I’m so glad I posted here. I am still broken but y’all’s stories and words of encouragement are really helping.