Why do people feel the need to act like judgmental assholes toward people and dogs they don’t know??

[gardenrn]

My Doggo is about 2.5 years and an absolutely adorable spaz. He’s leash reactive, and barks at noises all the time, and haaaaates furry things/creatures/people with suspicious hair on the TV.

I got him for free from a box when he was 4-weeks old, and I worked really hard to socialize him, but once he found his voice it was all over. He’s just been a reactive barker ever since. So for the last two years or so, I’ve been on the rewarding, but exhausting owning a reactive dog treadmill.

Cut to yesterday, we’re on a run and it’s a good day because there’s not a lot of people or dogs on the trail. I live in the city and this trail is recessed about 10ft below the street. As we’re running a random man leaps over the wall, and startled my dog who starts barking, then a man on a bicycle rides up behind and says “Your dog needs training.” And then just keep riding away.

And y’all I was SO MAD. This guy doesn’t know me or my dog, and has no heckin’ ideas how many hours and hundreds of dollars have gone into training my dog. My poor easily-startled Doggo has probably had more training than 80% of dogs, and this prick rides by slinging judgement on a person, dog, and situation he doesn’t know a thing about. If he actually knew anything about dog training in his pompous glory, he’d know what a reactive dog looks like and have some level of compassion and understanding about what had transpired.

Nope. Just some middle-aged know-it-all dude on a bike shitting out unsolicited criticism he’s not qualified to make on people he doesn’t know.

I live in an area where dogs are super common and loved, and the vast majority of people are super understanding when he’s having a fit and can see I’m trying my best to calm him.

But man this guy just made my blood boil.

 

[searchinggod]

@gardenrn Sometimes I find people aren't clapped back on enough.

I went camping with my 6-month old deaf pup and some lady hiking asked if she could pet her, and I said "Sure, but she hasn't learned stranger manners yet and she jumps." (she's a small 20ish pound beagle-heeler mix)

The lady pet her, and when my pup jumped on her, she got super offended and said "You need to train this dog."

And I went off "She is being trained, but there are more important things than impressing strangers, especially with her disability. Until you work with a special needs dog, don't say shit to me about her training, you asked, you got a disclaimer, no one asked for your opinion."

She got all huffy and skidaddled. Sometimes you gotta tell people to stay in their fucking lane. Dogs are like children, training is only one part of what makes up their behavior.

 

[wobert]

@searchinggod Bravo! Especially as you explained it so well without getting emotional.

I was taking my leash reactive dog (totally fine off leash and is just a barker to certain dogs that are overly excited when on leash) to his scentwork class and walking towards the building. There was a lady coming out with her overly excited dog who was pulling on his lead - no control over her dog. This is exactly the type of dog mine dislikes, so I had my dog at heel to let them pass and asking him for his attention. She unlocks the flexi leash and he comes bounding towards us. My dog starts barking. She was so judgemental and was telling me I had an aggressive dog who needs better training. I had to keep my mouth shut as i was so angry by her comment and unlocking the flexi.

It boils my blood when it's other owners who are not mindful of other dogs. And more so when we were going to the training facility!!

 

[rbl72]

@wobert You should let your tongue go. She needed it.

 

[tery]

@searchinggod I LOVE shutting people down when they try to say something about my dog. Sometimes, I ridiculously passive aggressive about it too, and will just start talking to my dog in a loud voice as we walk away from the person. "I know bubs, that person is a complete idiot who doesn't know what they're talking about. Yes, you are the sweetest boy ever. I know, I would have barked too if that idiot almost ran his bike into me!" Its fun and rewarding.

 

[searchinggod]

@tery I'm definitely guilty of intentionally speaking loud enough to my dog so people can hear me lol

 

[rbl72]

@searchinggod Not me. Im in their face. I will whip around and let it fly. THOSE people are the first to start trouble and the first to whimp out. No dignity. None.

 

[clayton2018]

@searchinggod Good on you for standing up for yourself. I’m often too shy to clap back when people have said things like this to me... they have no idea how much work we put in.

 

[finlandia]

@clayton2018 I'm usually just speechless

What I would want to clap back with is a 20 minute presentation with examples and a slideshow so how do I constructively say "fuck you, you have no idea" lol

 

[searchinggod]

@finlandia "Fuck you, you have no idea" is totally acceptable IMO

 

[finlandia]

@searchinggod True!!!!!!

 

[rbl72]

@searchinggod THIS was awesome . Ive used that "stay in your lane" comment before. Works

 

[tery]

@rbl72 I had some lady going off on me once, I can't even remember what about now. I just stared at her for a minute like I was trying to think of something, then pointed at her and exclaimed "that's it!" very excitedly. That of course threw her off, and she wanted to know what I was talking about. "Karen, your name is Karen, right? I mean, you have the personality and the haircut, so it has to be Karen. There is no way your name isn't Karen." She started to respond, but I just turned and walked away at that point.

 

[gardenrn]

@searchinggod I would have clapped back in a heartbeat if he hadn’t biked away immediately like a coward. I moved to my city from Philadelphia and people there don’t act like that to strangers because you don’t know who’s gonna go Philly-nuts. But here, people are all passive aggressive and the bullies have gone their whole lives without anyone standing up to their assholery. I am happy to slap them with a rude east coast style awakening on how unacceptable their behavior is.

 

[rbl72]

@gardenrn Yes ma'am. I was 9 years on the east coast. Dont be flapping gums and not be willing to back it up.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@gardenrn

I would have clapped back in a heartbeat if he hadn’t biked away immediately like a coward.

Or maybe he just went on his way?

 

[bambamikesell]

@imagebeastmarkbeast If you stop, make a shitty comment to someone and then "go on your way" without letting them respond, you're a coward.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@bambamikesell Well, first I do disagree that this is a "shitty" comment. Unnecessary maybe but not "shitty" in my mind. Second maybe the man felt that for safety reasons he needed to slow down and stop because of the reaction of the dog. The time frame of that sequence is not really clear to me from the original post. Third this is by far the nicest "bad" thing he could have uttered. Also he didn't blast a barrage of words at OP. He voiced his concerns and drove off. Far more pleasant than people who will follow you which happened to several people in this sub.

That's why I asked OP elsewhere if it is the sum of situations like this that made her feel so frustrated because this single instance and especially this comment ain't so bad. Right at this moment we have another thread where someone was cursed out because by coincidence she kept running into another dog owner who lost his shit. While this here is basically everyday shit for anyone who had a really reactive dog for a while.

 

[bambamikesell]

@imagebeastmarkbeast Meh. It's a shitty comment because it's not only not necessary, as you note, but it's also unsolicited and it's absolutely unhelpful. There is nothing constructive in a comment like that. It's akin to coming up to someone struggling to workout and telling them "you should get in better shape."

And if you have a reactive dog, you know that even simple comments can strike a nerve when someone is working hard to train a reactive dog and some genius drives by and says "you should train him better," as if it has never occurred to the owner. "Wow! Really? Good idea, thanks Mister!"

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@bambamikesell You nailed it on the head. For me it is a "No shit Sherlock" type of situation and something like that can not phase me. But why are you changing the words "you should train him better" =/= "your dog needs training"?

Also your other example is a false analogy in my eyes. Someone who fails to workout is not affecting me or anyone else in the slightest in public. A reactive dog can be a danger for other people and dogs OR might be easily misidentified as dangerous even if that particular dog is just acting out of frustration for example. I do not feel offended if someone comments on my dog's behavior based on that concern with "your dog needs training".