smoothrose
New member
@breatheme Yes, that one took me awhile to learn with my first reactive girl ❤
What are your "top 3" tips?
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christoph2005
New member
@breatheme
We had an extremely dog and people reactive havanese for 10 years who passed away last year. I was devastated when she passed, and I still miss her every day.
6 months after she passed we brought home a Maltese puppy, who was perfect for the first 6-7 months of her life then overnight she became extremely dog reactive, then TV and animal in general reactive.
We have really made amazing strides when it comes to sounds, if she hears neighbor dogs bark she comes running to me for guidance/treats instead of flipping out barking at the fence which is a dramatic improvement… but when it comes to seeing a dog or horse… or even just watching TV we have so much work to do.
I was so so relieved to have the dog that I could take everywhere, and she loved it so much at first. I don’t know if it was genetic or if it is my fault or what, but there doesn’t seem to have been a cause. Her parents are both well adjusted champions with championship parents and so on… the breeder is an amazing person and it’s not their fault.
It tore me apart for a while realizing that I wasn’t getting an “easy” route this time either. It’s shameful to admit, but I mourn the loss of what I hoped for the first time I had a dog and was disappointed, and now again. I love her. She’s sweet. But she is dog/horse reactive and has severe separation anxiety, I wouldn’t have signed up for this in all honesty… but I will do the work and in 6 months or a year or two years we will be in a place where we are all happy.
1 is so hard for me.
We had an extremely dog and people reactive havanese for 10 years who passed away last year. I was devastated when she passed, and I still miss her every day.
6 months after she passed we brought home a Maltese puppy, who was perfect for the first 6-7 months of her life then overnight she became extremely dog reactive, then TV and animal in general reactive.
We have really made amazing strides when it comes to sounds, if she hears neighbor dogs bark she comes running to me for guidance/treats instead of flipping out barking at the fence which is a dramatic improvement… but when it comes to seeing a dog or horse… or even just watching TV we have so much work to do.
I was so so relieved to have the dog that I could take everywhere, and she loved it so much at first. I don’t know if it was genetic or if it is my fault or what, but there doesn’t seem to have been a cause. Her parents are both well adjusted champions with championship parents and so on… the breeder is an amazing person and it’s not their fault.
It tore me apart for a while realizing that I wasn’t getting an “easy” route this time either. It’s shameful to admit, but I mourn the loss of what I hoped for the first time I had a dog and was disappointed, and now again. I love her. She’s sweet. But she is dog/horse reactive and has severe separation anxiety, I wouldn’t have signed up for this in all honesty… but I will do the work and in 6 months or a year or two years we will be in a place where we are all happy.
@christoph2005 Big hugs to you. I know I am just a random person on reddit, so take my words for whatever they are worth to you, but honestly I would be shocked if your dogs reactivity is your - or anyone's! - fault. Some dogs are just wired differently.
My situation is a bit different, but I can relate in many ways. Like you, my dog was great for the first year or so that we had her... And then COVID happened. I see people with "pandemic puppies" who seem to have gotten over that initial year of isolation, but that hasn't been the case for us. My dog is a very smart, sensitive breed (border collie), and neither my partner nor I have any family in the state. Our household is a very quiet one, and so it's hard to practise feeling safe/calm around kids and visitors - not to mention no one to go to for help with walks when we are sick, overnight trips, etc. I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of people with more family around/less sensitive dogs. But here we are.
Be kind to yourself. It may be 6 months, a year, or more, but it will be worth it once it all clicks.
My situation is a bit different, but I can relate in many ways. Like you, my dog was great for the first year or so that we had her... And then COVID happened. I see people with "pandemic puppies" who seem to have gotten over that initial year of isolation, but that hasn't been the case for us. My dog is a very smart, sensitive breed (border collie), and neither my partner nor I have any family in the state. Our household is a very quiet one, and so it's hard to practise feeling safe/calm around kids and visitors - not to mention no one to go to for help with walks when we are sick, overnight trips, etc. I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of people with more family around/less sensitive dogs. But here we are.
Be kind to yourself. It may be 6 months, a year, or more, but it will be worth it once it all clicks.
killbob234
New member
@breatheme One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that I need to be her advocate and set boundaries. Sometimes when my dog is extra stressed due to a dog interaction or storms, I have to say "no" to having people meet her because I don't want her to react since she is already high strung. Some people just don't get it and think "oh she's fine!" or get upset and offended. But that's ok because I know my dog better than anyone else and have to remind myself that I am doing what is best for her. I am listening to her signs and doing things in a way that will help her succeed. Even if others don't understand.
@killbob234 Oh for sure. I feel you on this one because I am kind of a people pleaser by nature. But I too have learned that it's better to "disappoint" someone in the moment, rather than set everyone up for failure.
tangtoungler
New member
@breatheme So many good tips in these comments I'm adding some into my notes to refer back to!
I want to add be able to identify a reactivity reaction and reacting to a situation. Dog calmly existing with their owner however far away and dog reacts - reactivity reaction
Dog with no manners bole dozing towards your dog and they react - reacting to the situation
I say this because yes our dogs most likely would react in both situations BUT non reactive dogs are likely to react in some way to the second situation. It's personally helped me not feel like I'm failing at helping her when I remember in some situations we've managed to end up in ANY Dog would react poorly unless they're also rude! This may not help everyone but it's given me more peace of mind when we've inevitably ran into owners who don't control their dogs and let them just show up in spaces.
I want to add be able to identify a reactivity reaction and reacting to a situation. Dog calmly existing with their owner however far away and dog reacts - reactivity reaction
Dog with no manners bole dozing towards your dog and they react - reacting to the situation
I say this because yes our dogs most likely would react in both situations BUT non reactive dogs are likely to react in some way to the second situation. It's personally helped me not feel like I'm failing at helping her when I remember in some situations we've managed to end up in ANY Dog would react poorly unless they're also rude! This may not help everyone but it's given me more peace of mind when we've inevitably ran into owners who don't control their dogs and let them just show up in spaces.
@tangtoungler Absolutely! Remembering that there are no "perfect dogs" has given me peace of mind, too.
@breatheme For me my first hard lesson was don't assume people who work with dogs have the same level of professional training I have to have in my own field...
I let my dog down badly because I trusted a dog professional knew what they were doing. I should have been a lot more picky on what actually are your qualifications and been a better advocate for my dog. I let it happen for too long and his frustration reactivity was not helped by it.
Second would be to not apologise too much. I was terrible apologiser and took everything so much to heart! My dog trainer was very pragmatic and said seriously most dogs have reactivity in their own specific context. One day I felt that and heck we are not a unique and rare club at all... but other care less about their dog behaviour!
It was very freeing to apologise less and know as long as I was trying/ thinking safety/ doing my training I was actually a good owner!
Third and most important was that while trianing is important it is not as important as shaping his brain through enrichment and play and just having fun. My break through was going at his life and routine and maximising his quality of life and enrichment opportunities and then him an I just oh playing games doing drills and agility tricks and having fun so we could praise and bond. Yes they were "lessons" but it was stealth learning and fun for us both so no anxiety and pressure attached. A definite tip this one!
Can I add a few more.. pretty please?
Manage the environment to set up the dog for success and gradually behaviour adjust: vital!
Sniffy walks and chilling in green space
Dogs don't need a human life. Don't envy other people out shopping etc with their dog. None of that is for the dog and many are stressed. You are as good an owner and having as much fun taking your dog places it can mangage and be happy in even if that's chilling and snuggling on the sofa!
Lastly the whole world has opinions and they are like AHoles... don't discuss or let other comment on your dog and training (well forums like this being supportive excepted lol!). You know what you are doing and most people have no clue about dog training. I just uhuh and mmhmmmm and walk away. I wish I had known that at the beginning. It would have saved me from peoples opinions beating me up!
On the other hand a good behaviour level trainer who can give you confidence and experience is gold dust and worth any money
OK.. too many tips but... :-
I let my dog down badly because I trusted a dog professional knew what they were doing. I should have been a lot more picky on what actually are your qualifications and been a better advocate for my dog. I let it happen for too long and his frustration reactivity was not helped by it.
Second would be to not apologise too much. I was terrible apologiser and took everything so much to heart! My dog trainer was very pragmatic and said seriously most dogs have reactivity in their own specific context. One day I felt that and heck we are not a unique and rare club at all... but other care less about their dog behaviour!
It was very freeing to apologise less and know as long as I was trying/ thinking safety/ doing my training I was actually a good owner!
Third and most important was that while trianing is important it is not as important as shaping his brain through enrichment and play and just having fun. My break through was going at his life and routine and maximising his quality of life and enrichment opportunities and then him an I just oh playing games doing drills and agility tricks and having fun so we could praise and bond. Yes they were "lessons" but it was stealth learning and fun for us both so no anxiety and pressure attached. A definite tip this one!
Can I add a few more.. pretty please?
Manage the environment to set up the dog for success and gradually behaviour adjust: vital!
Sniffy walks and chilling in green space
Dogs don't need a human life. Don't envy other people out shopping etc with their dog. None of that is for the dog and many are stressed. You are as good an owner and having as much fun taking your dog places it can mangage and be happy in even if that's chilling and snuggling on the sofa!
Lastly the whole world has opinions and they are like AHoles... don't discuss or let other comment on your dog and training (well forums like this being supportive excepted lol!). You know what you are doing and most people have no clue about dog training. I just uhuh and mmhmmmm and walk away. I wish I had known that at the beginning. It would have saved me from peoples opinions beating me up!
On the other hand a good behaviour level trainer who can give you confidence and experience is gold dust and worth any money
OK.. too many tips but... :-
@monk58 Very good tips! "Dogs don't need a human life" - so true!! I recently ran into someone who had their Labrador with them in the Banana Republic in a mall! I actually commented something like "oh wow my dog would not be too into this" & the person replied "this is her first trip to the mall!" I mean, maybe it was a service dog in training? In any event the dog was definitely more concerned with sniffing and mouthing the folded sweaters than it was with paying attention to its handler 
@breatheme #1: Nobody is thinking about you and your dog as much as you are. It's frustrating and embarrassing, but only for you. You aren't going to be the "You won't believe this shit" story from somebody when they get back home. You're just a person walking a dog.
#2: Manage what you can, live with what you can't manage. You aren't meant to control your dog's behavior, you're controlling your own responses to their behavior.
#3: One day, your patience and hard work will pay off in a big way. Remember where you started. Set them up for the best chance for success, and allow them to succeed. They'll surprise you. I didn't think I could ever do group classes with my dog, she's got way too many difficult to manage behaviors around other dogs when she's on leash. I couldn't help but beam when she laid down and damn near fell asleep with 6 other dogs panting and obviously stressed beyond belief. Sure, we have a long way to go; but reflecting on where we started tells me that we're obviously in a better place now.
#2: Manage what you can, live with what you can't manage. You aren't meant to control your dog's behavior, you're controlling your own responses to their behavior.
#3: One day, your patience and hard work will pay off in a big way. Remember where you started. Set them up for the best chance for success, and allow them to succeed. They'll surprise you. I didn't think I could ever do group classes with my dog, she's got way too many difficult to manage behaviors around other dogs when she's on leash. I couldn't help but beam when she laid down and damn near fell asleep with 6 other dogs panting and obviously stressed beyond belief. Sure, we have a long way to go; but reflecting on where we started tells me that we're obviously in a better place now.
@addelheid Oh man, yes a hundred thousand times to #1!! It's sort of like back in HS when you would have to give a presentation in front of the class - no one is being as critical as you are!!
mystic2010
New member
@breatheme
- Medication NOT as a last resort and something to think about when you immediately adopt a dog or your dog starts to show reactivity. This has saved my boy.
- Longer leads - I use 15 ft rn on our daily walks - my boy gets spooked or doesn’t like something/someone he can run away instead of yell at it.
- Knowing dog body language— and teaching others on it! I live with my mom and sister and they aren’t as versed in dog behavior so teaching them has helped them bond
@mystic2010 Agree on medication. It's unfortunate that so often people think of it as a last resort. If your dog had a physical illness would you deny them medication until they were dangerously ill? I look at behaviour meds the same way!
@breatheme Yes to all of these! Here are mine:
- Learn the communication style that works best for you and your dog. There isn’t a “one size fits all” or magic solution for reactive dogs. So if your dog happens to respond to a command that you made up of the fly, rather than a command that a trainer on YouTube told you to use, stick with it!
- Learn your dog’s threshold. This kind of goes hand in hand with communication, but know what triggers your dog or at what distance puts your dog over threshold is a game changer in maintaining your dog’s reactivity. If you’re constantly pushing your dog over threshold, you’ll never get anywhere in training.
- Celebrate every small victory. Even the smallest of accomplishments are a big deal when it comes to managing reactivity.
@joylakala Number 3 is a big one for me. Wins, even small ones, just hit different with reactive pups. 
imagebeastmarkbeast
New member
@breatheme For me: learning takes place when your dog sees the trigger, thinks about the trigger and processes the trigger.
That mean distance is my primary learning tool. I don't use treats, and I don't ask for anything when I am doing set ups.
That mean distance is my primary learning tool. I don't use treats, and I don't ask for anything when I am doing set ups.
@imagebeastmarkbeast An excellent point! Our trainer has mentioned a few times the importance of letting our dog observe and process.
jessika544
New member
@breatheme Food, play, don’t give a …. Not necessarily in that order.
@breatheme Just one that I haven’t seen yet:
Love your dog and be nice to them!
They most often don’t understand why you’re yelling at them, and even if they did, like others have said, they’re not giving you a hard time, they’re having a hard time.
Love your dog and be nice to them!
They most often don’t understand why you’re yelling at them, and even if they did, like others have said, they’re not giving you a hard time, they’re having a hard time.