unless you have a reactive dog you don't understand

[jyoooohs]

my dog is fear reactive. i did everything by the book when i got him at around 9 weeks old, we went outside, we watched people, and i did R+ when we'd see people but unfortunately some dogs are just going to be reactive. i train my dog twice daily, we go on a long walk and i take treats w us everytime. he has improved so much the past 3-4 months, he went from barking at everyone we passed to finally seeing someone and looking to me for a treat. he still barks and cowers when meeting new people but i cant force him to do anything so i try to let the person and give them treats to feed him and he's usually calm after 5-10 mins of barking. i'm so so proud of my little tiny baby and the progress he has made. what makes me upset is everyone around me thinks he's a bad dog that just needs training. even my best friend will make ignorant remarks like "take him training" "you're not doing enough" etc and it's really upsetting because i'm currently unemployed and she knows i cant afford a proper trainer and that i spend hours researching and about an hour each training walk to help him. random strangers will give me dirty looks because he usually just barks at people( if they are walking a dog he'll be okay sometimes bark at the owner but 90% of the time he doesn't and he's also very good with other dogs just scared of people)some dogs are naturally this way according to my vet and behaviorist. it's just so frustrating when we're both doing our best but people are so judgemental, like what do you gain from telling me to get a trainer or giving my dog a nasty look?
aside from the reactive ness he's such a smart, kind, gentle boy i wish people could see it. he knows his commands, has a plethora of tricks, and is so emotionally intelligent. i love him so much i just wish people weren't so ignorant

edit: i do not care what these people are saying and i do not care about the dirty looks. i love my baby and i'm so proud of him. this post was just to emphasize the fact that people are ignorant

edit 2: once again i do not care about other peoples opinion on my dog. he is my soul dog and i would actually jump in front of a car for him. i'm just literally trying to be sympathetic it's like when kids cry on a plane literally no reason for a baby to get dirty looks people are not sympathetic at all

 

[childman]

@jyoooohs A lot of people have dogs that are reasonably well behaved and they give themselves a lot of credit for that. And they may have had some hand in it, but not nearly to the level they pat themselves on the back for. So they see reactive dogs and think "that could never happen to me, I know how to properly raise/train a dog". Until they get one themselves and the lightbulb goes off.

 

[trchristiano]

@childman I used to be like this before I got my third and current dog. I thought the owners just hasnt done enough or helped their dogs enough. Now I know so much better! Ofcourse I had something to do with my last two dogs being such good dogs, but I also think they would have become nice enough dogs in most people's hands. They were just "those kinds" of dogs that was easy and gullable with everyone and every dog.

 

[houseofsaul]

@trchristiano Same I like to think my reactive as hell dog is my punishment for being sanctimonious about my previous well behaved dogs lol karma.

 

[flocculus7]

@houseofsaul Haha same. I thought I was a natural “dog person” because growing up I had these amazing relationships with well-behaved family dogs. Now I have a rescue who is very territorial and stranger-reactive, and it has been a wake up call to say the least. And I have hired multiple professional trainers, too.

I’ll say this, OP: the fact that your dog is already looking to you when they see a trigger is HUGE. It took me about 2.5 years to get there. We’re at a point where in some contexts she can hold off from reacting completely or even go greet a stranger on her own, or in other contexts she will let out a few barks and all I have to do is give her a look and she will stop. Progress has been incredibly slow and not steady, but it is progress.

 

[jyoooohs]

@flocculus7 wow thank you! i honestly am so amazed w his progress but i think it has to do with age too because he's only going to be 2 in august so kind of a puppy(?) i'm really happy to see your dog is doing better too! i really hope to get to where you're at some day. greeting a stranger on her own what a brave good girl! keep up the good work rooting for you guys

 

[alex001]

@childman Yeah. I had numerous nonreactive dogs over my life. When I’d see a dog barking and straining at the leash I was certainly judging (in my head). It wasn’t until I had my own to deal with that I really understood reactivity.

 

[beaudoiin]

@childman That was me, honestly. My childhood dogs were a breeze. No training at all, very little/no exposure training when they were young… and yet they wouldn’t react to anything, except barking at skateboards. I was stupid and thought that reactivity came from poor socialization/training, maybe bad experiences. Although this was mostly because most reactive dog owners that I saw don’t do anything when their dog is reacting (or at least it looked that way to someone who had no idea).

My first puppy is gearing up to be reactive. He gets very easily overstimulated and laser focuses on other dogs every time he sees one. Sometimes treats do not work to divert his attention, despite me spending thousands on training already and making neutral exposure my main goal with him. I just count my blessings that he doesn’t vocalize much - yet. I’m bracing for it though, because he has started to whine a bit and has gotten even more intense with his posture when he sees dogs. But yeah, living it is certainly one way to find out that you can “do everything right” and still end up with a reactive dog.

 

[childman]

@beaudoiin Oh, same. I grew up on a farm and our dogs got no formal socialization at all. My reactive dog was a massive wakeup call, especially since he had a lot of issues at 8 weeks old and everyone around me told me he couldn't possibly be aggressive/anxious, I must be misreading puppy play, because he was just a baby.

 

[truthinapologetics]

@childman Just like how sometimes parents have kids that are perfect, they think its all on their parenting. But really it’s a mix of a lot of things.

 

[anthoknee]

@childman Honestly, it’s the people with reactive dogs who seem totally clueless about their dog’s behavior that bother me the most. Their ignorance is a danger to others and especially to their dog and it ruins a lot of otherwise nice spaces for everyone. I appreciate everyone on this sub who is doing their best! It’s way more than most people do.

 

[katharina800]

@anthoknee Yeah I’m shocked at the amount of reactivity I see here compared to where I grew up and people just do nothing or make excuses or even worse, just see FAS level 4-5 as just “how dogs communicate.” They literally do not think any escalated behaviour other than biting is something to be actioned - making it so biting is the only method of communication the dog has

 

[jnnp]

@katharina800 What does FAS mean? Clarify?

 

[katharina800]

@jnnp Fear and stress level. https://familypethealth.com/understanding-fas-fear-anxiety-and-stress-in-the-vet-clinic/

Basically, snapping/lunging/charging are already FAS Level 5, they’re just not fully escalated to bite/attack.

Too many people ignore earlier signs of fear/stress. So the dog learns only aggression gets results.

Sometimes if a dog is triggered severely enough it can jump straight there. Usually there was a ladder of escalation.

This is a lot of supposed “little dog syndrome” too- people or dogs ignoring avoidant and evasive communication till the dog just jumps to aggressive language.

This is also why I don’t really like people trying to “us vs them”-ing their fear/frustrated reactive dog from aggressive dogs. No dog is incapable of being aggressive. It will depend on how triggered it is, for how long, and reinforcement/rehearsal that earlier communication didn’t work. (Bit different for prey drive but predation substitute training and CER can work for prey drive triggers as well.) I think a lot of people mean it well-intentioned and to destigmatise reactivity but it’s super disingenuous and downplays the risk of mismanaging reactivity.

All these behaviours are normal dog behaviours, the reactivity part is a dog escalating to stimuli in ways that are overreactive. Whether or not that ever escalates to aggression depends on a combination of things.

 

[bebe75]

@childman Exactly. You are not only not "at fault" if your dog is reactive; you are also not praiseworthy if your dog is - just a dog.
We have two dogs, both rescues. We've always had cats (still do). I kinda thought you got a dog and it would love other dogs. The end.
My dog is reactive to all dogs but the two she was raised with. And I have learned SO much because of her. Her reactivity isn't my fault; it's just my job to learn what she needs and give her a good life. P.S.: they're both spoiled rotten.

 

[milz777]

@childman That's the thing with certain types of reactivity: you can do everything right and still end up with a reactive dog.

I learned that lesson many years ago when I got my second border collie. My first bc was a lovely dog, very social with enough drive to work without going overboard. He didn't have a pedigree so we had no idea about his genetic history.

My second border collie came from a great breeder and had a pedigree full of working line ancestors, including a Welsh sheep herding champion. This dog wanted to work all day long. I took him herding and we did obedience and agility. Best working dog I ever had, a joy to train. But he did not care for other dogs. He was fine with dogs he knew, but he did not tolerate strange dogs disturbing his work. So a random labrador that ran up to him while he was playing with a ball got smacked down hard. He never actually hurt another dog, but he got the message to leave him alone across just fine.

No amount of training could get rid of that vicious streak. He happily ignored other dogs as long as they ignored him, even when working very close together. But when some dog thought to interact directly with him... ooh boy, that was not going to end well.

When I eventually introduced a new corgi puppy to my family, it took him two months of snarling and snapping to accept this tiny interloper. After that they were best friends and my bc made it to 14 while happily playing the role of big brother.

He was a great dog, one I still miss. Not just because he was so nice to work with, but also because he taught me some very important lessons about dog behaviour.

 

[katharina800]

@childman Yep, guilty as charged till my third dog. The first two dogs had puppy classes and were mostly fine with literally no other effort made to make sure they developed well (second dog was a bit nervous with separation anxiety, but mild compared to my current dog.)

 

[burnmydread]

@childman I have a moderately leash reactive dog who’s VERY food motivated and generally amenable to training. I’ve had him for 6 weeks and we’ve been actively working on reactivity for 4-ish weeks.

I go back and forth between acknowledging that I am actively putting in work to help him chill tf out and be less reactive, but also acknowledging he only weighs 9 lbs, and would kill for a piece of a cheese stick, so he’s much easier to manage than some other reactive dogs. It’s partially both. The situation isn’t that bad, but also I’m putting in a lot of work to make it better.

 

[raveningwolf]

@jyoooohs It sucks but you’re right. Some people aren’t open minded and think that reactive dogs (although they don’t know that term usually) are just poorly trained and it’s the owner’s fault, no matter what you tell them. But you know how much work you’ve put into your pup’s improvement and should celebrate how much progress he’s made! It could help the dirty looks from people in public to buy an inexpensive bandana, harness patch, or leash sleeve that says “in training” so people see that you’re working on it.

And of course there’s us, an entire community that understands what you’re going through, and we’re all working hard to improve our dogs lives despite society’s ignorance. You got this!

 

[jyoooohs]

@raveningwolf thank you so much for this! made tear up, i'm so happy i found this community!! i will definitely go buy a patch or bandana for him, idk why i didn't think of it sooner