So… when was the last time y’all had a vacation?

[irishfn1]

@alexkline We tried Rover but I think we have been blackballed lol. After one not great experience with someone who had multiple dogs boarded at his house, no one has contacted us afterwards when we have tried to make outreach. I either find a vrbo with a backyard in the area where we are going or pay extra so my dogs have play time by themselves at a boarding facility.

 

[alexkline]

@irishfn1 Oh wow that can happen?! What happened with your boarding experience? We used Rover before with a couple who had a dog, but that was before our dog became dog reactive which happened last year. They were lovely people but they’ve since got another dog and they aren’t dog trainers or anything so I think it would be a bit much to put my dog on them too. I got the feeling they thought he was already a bit much… (they had an “incident” with him where he tried to steal food off their plates… but we never leave food out for him to steal so I just thought well of course he’s going to eat chicken off your unattended dinner plate?).

 

[irishfn1]

@alexkline I guess so! The guy we boarded with kept trying to get my dog to participate in pack activities with his other boarded dogs and she would submissive pee or act aggressive. He texted me one day and said he couldn’t watch her again. After that experience I have reached out to a couple of people on Rover that mentioned working with reactive dogs. No response, so now I either have to bring my dogs with me on vacation or pay stupid $ to have them boarded and separated from the other dogs.

 

[samuelcb123]

@alexkline My wife and I took a mini honeymoon to Vegas right before (like the week before Vegas shut down) the pandemic. One of our pups is dog reactive but the boarding facility we used is familiar with reactive dogs and just gives them solo or paired play time if they come in with a companion. Our trainer recommended and uses them so we felt comfortable with him in their care and were able to enjoy our trip.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@alexkline Everyone has given great tips on what to do for finding a sitter already for this particular situation (I use a combo of friends, family, local professional dogsitter who has training exp, and trusted Rovers).

But I just want to add, you two both deserve many vacations in your lives! And I think finding a few trusted sitters is so important and beneficial for future vacay planning. After this trip, I really recommend doing short trial runs with like your top 3 options. Take a few days/weekend off from your dog here and there, have them with the sitter for a day, then overnight, etc. and see how your dog handles it over time and how you feel about the sitter's communications etc.

It will save you so much trouble and alleviate guilt and stress in the future, if you start slow and intentionally build in time for your dog to get used to specific sitters, and "practice" vacations in small increments.

My pup was definitely nervous her first time being away from me for the day, and she cried on her first couple overnights. However, by the third or fourth "practice" she was completely comfortable, slept through the night, and was playing and eating like normal.

Yes it does cost a bit more money, but it's so worth it! I have my first four-day trip coming up and because I did those practice runs I feel less stressed about it because I know she will be ok sleeping without me, that she likes the people who are watching her, that they care about her wellbeing, etc.

 

[elise82]

@alexkline OP, I have a very reactive dog (or had, since things have improved considerably) but what we always do is we go on holiday by car and take our dog with us. We've been on several vacations this way and haven't had any trouble (except with strays).

 

[levicoleman]

@elise82 She says she's going to visit family abroad. I realize she didn't say where, but say she's going to Ireland from the US.... driving isn't exactly an option.

 

[safsafs]

@alexkline Have you looked into paying someone to stay at your house? My dog is very dog aggressive and costs a fortune to board her in a dog-aggressive kennel. Rover is an option or post on Facebook/Nextdoor to find someone (maybe a teenager??) who could stay at your house and watch the dog. We do this with our dog, as she turned aggressive to my in-laws dog as well. She is way less stressed as she is at her house, and all I ask of the person is to make sure they sleep there. I do make sure I show them what to do with her if they take her on walks. My dog is also reactive to people, so I always make sure we have a female watch her and meet them prior to make sure she’s okay.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@alexkline There's no sense in stressing yourself out so much for a dog. Dogs are supposed to enhance your life, not inhibit it. How old is this dog? 3 years, 5 years old? Do you want to stay at home for the next 8-7 years before it passes away? Are you equipped to handle a dog that requires you to not have vacations? Are you equipped to have a dog that makes you stress yourself out and cry? Do you WANT a dog that does this to you?

 

[alexkline]

@imagebeastmarkbeast I am prepared for that, but I would prefer not to. Maybe I wasn’t clear, I’m here for suggestions and strategies on dog care for reactive dogs. I’m interested in how other people do it when they go on holiday. It’s been a rough year and it’s only recently that we can’t leave our pup with my MIL. I wouldn’t usually cry over mucking up a vacation but I haven’t seen my mum for two years because of the pandemic and all that.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@alexkline Oh, Ok. I thought you meant that crying was a frequent occurrence for some reason. Do you have a dog trainer that you frequent? My dog trainer does dog boarding for dogs that she's worked with (it's more expensive than regular boarding, but I know for sure that she knows and can handle my dog.)

 

[celtish]

@imagebeastmarkbeast This is worded harshly but the underlying message is valid. People do have certain goals, dreams, etc when they get a dog and a severely reactive dog can be more of a challenge than someone is capable of handling. The thought of working for years with a reactive dog and not being able to go on vacation or have people over or a myriad of other things due to a reactive dog just isn’t do-able for a lot of people - that’s just reality. It doesn’t make you a bad person.

 

[davena]

@imagebeastmarkbeast You're getting downvoted but you're not wrong in many ways.

Telling too is that the OP has a kennel lined up and has not backed out due to any incidents but due to her own nervousness that something might happen.

I'm thinking OP may have anxiety issues that she's transferred to the dog. Maybe a touch of agoraphobia about leaving the town.

 

[elise82]

@imagebeastmarkbeast "for a dog" wow. OK.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@elise82 I love dogs so, so much. I have one and he means the world to me, but I'm also a realist. A dog who makes my life a living hell is going to be rehomed because if the situation is that bad, then it's not working out for me OR the dog.

 

[elise82]

@imagebeastmarkbeast What if you had a child that was violent? Would you put him/her up for adoption? Also, although I understand your sentiment, I take issue with it because it sounds like giving up too soon. My dog was very aggressive at 1 and 2 years old. But we kept working, I kept training him and now at 4, he's 100% obedient. Don't get me wrong, he still *wants* to kill all strange dogs and people that come near us, but he doesn't react because he knows he isn't allowed to. Of course, I wish I had lucked out and adopted a gentle soul instead of a psycho, but I didn't. Tough tiddies. So I just raised my psycho. I thought about rehoming him because first I thought I was doing something wrong to cause this behavior but I realized I'm his whole world. The agony he would go through if I left him... I could never do that to him. Have you ever been left by the person you love most without an explanation? and besides, how could I punish a dog that isn't doing anything technically wrong. He doesn't realize biting has consequences like dealings with police, lawyers etc. He doesn't know about laws, he's just following the law of nature and protecting his pack. How could I abandon him for doing what his nature dictates? So I just took years to train him and now things are much better. When the thoughts you shared crossed my mind some time ago... I just thought... I could never forgive myself if I left him. Maybe he would have forgotten me but I could never forget him. I would have regretted this decision for the rest of my life.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@elise82 A dog is not a child. I can't speak to my dog like I would a child because he wouldn't understand me. Like you said, you have to teach a dog everything about how the world works an what he is an isn't allowed to do. I am not a dog trainer. If in the case I was unequipped to modify a dog's behavior after giving my greatest effort, I would rehome the dog because if I can't do it then I'm not giving him the best life he can have. At some point, if I have a dog that is reactive and isn't making progress despite my best effort, I would rehome him because at that point I would be giving my dog and myself a better life.

 

[elise82]

@imagebeastmarkbeast Or maybe you should work with a good trainer in order to modify the behaviour for the better.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@elise82 Uh...obviously? But you do know that a lot of training is done at home even when you have a private trainer.

 

[elise82]

@imagebeastmarkbeast Yes, of course. That's the only way. I mean, a good trainer is supposed to teach the human how to teach their dog. A real trainer doesn't just work with the dog. So the trainer teaches the human and then the human teaches and trains their dog. Daily. But I wouldn't say "at home". Most things are useless practiced at home. Training has to be done outside, in a variety of places.