So… when was the last time y’all had a vacation?

[alexkline]

My husband and I have a vacation booked in two weeks; three weeks visiting my family abroad. I don’t know what I was thinking. My mother in law was our previous go to dog sitter, but over the last year our reactive dog has also become reactive to my MIL’s dog, who he has previously stayed with for four weeks at a time. I haven’t seen my family for two years, and the boarding plans we were hoping for fell through.

(We previously boarded our pups at a regular boarding facility, but since Dog 1 started showing reactivity towards other dogs, I don’t feel comfortable with leaving him somewhere where they aren’t equipped to deal with reactive dogs specifically. Especially for three weeks, I feel like that’s setting him up to fail, and putting other people’s pets in danger.)

I don’t think I’ll be able to arrange something in the next two weeks. It’s looking more and more like we’ll have to cancel our tickets (family guilt) or I’ll have to go without my husband (terrible wifely guilt as boarding the dogs was my responsibility). Additionally, I’ve always preferred a dig sitter over boarding, and I have immense guilt leaving him at a facility anyway.

My family says I let my life revolve around the dog. My husband is stressed and frustrated that we haven’t had a vacation for years. But what are we, with our reactive digs, supposed to do?

What do you guys do? Are we destined to never have vacations? I’ve cried a lot over this and now I’m paralyzed with guilt, overwhelm and fear. This is my life.

EDIT: holy moly I didn’t expect this many comments but really appreciate it! Will go through and respond later but right now am going to trawl Rover and see if there’s anyone who fits the bill. I didn’t want to put him on anyone but you guys are right—there might be people who are trained or experienced with reactive dogs. Seeing as I was putting aside money for this reason I have a much higher budget than I previously did when I looked at Rover. (I was looking at a board and train place that work with reactive dogs. However there was a miscommunication and they can’t do our dates. While this would have only been boarding, I’m torn about them and their “rehab program” in general because I’m not sure how I feel about their use of e-collars.)

What worries me is we used to look for people with dogs, because the pup (4.5 years old) was previously only reactive to male strangers and having dog playmates greatly reduced the chance of reactivity. He’s so far only been reactive with a few dogs but I’m not sure now whether to risk someone with a dog or not. I think the main thing is to be upfront about all his issues so that the sitters themselves can decide what they are and aren’t equipped to deal with.

thanks again for all your responses and will let you know how it goes! You’ve given me hope!

 

[whyayeman]

@alexkline I second the rover comment. I have three dogs. Two of which can be watched by anyone anywhere, one is reactive. We have someone come let them out three times a day. In the past, we had someone stay with us.

Look for the ones who have good ratings and reviews. You can also search by how close they are and find someone who may be very close by. We found our rover lady and she literally lives across the street.

Alternatively, call the vets office. Explain what's going on, ask if they have recommendations.

Also its okay to board your pet so you can have a vacation. You also need time to destress away from life. Maybe reactive dog is just boarded at a vets office, with people who know how to handle it. A lot of doggy day cares also have a lot of experience handling aggressive dogs. And especially if your dog is more dog selective than people selective, a day care may be a good option for him.

It may not be the ideal situation for him but sometimes you have to do what you have to do to stay sane.

Call dog day cares, ask if they have ways to keep a dog reactive dog. See if you can go tour facilities with your dog, meet some of the staff.

You're getting so caught up in trying to make sure everything is perfect for your loved one, youre forgetting that you and your husband also need self care.

 

[levicoleman]

@alexkline I made a post in here about finding dog sitters not too long ago. Unfortunately it didn't get much traction and most people were just like "oh we have this amazing girl who is always available and just stays at our house" and I haven't had that kind of luck. Rover has been my best bet so far. I know several people have mentioned it, but it really is a great service. You can talk to the people ahead of time and set up meetings so your dog gets used to them. Two weeks should be plenty of time if you start looking now. I've found people literally 24 hours in advance, which is a challenge, especially when you have a reactive dog. You can also filter whether you want someone to stay at your house or you want to leave your dog with them. I think this is still possible for you and I really hope you get to keep your vacation plans! Good luck!

 

[annac89]

@levicoleman If your dog doesn’t require too much walking and stuff. find a dog walker experienced with reactive dog who can come by your house 2-3x a day and walk your dog. Dog has to be okay staying at your house by himself for most time and not destroying it. Pay extra to feed, walk, and hang out. Maybe get some friends or family to stop by and play for a bit on different days. This will of course have to be someone you can trust and your dog has no reaction to them. Test it out with each person before you leave.

 

[jesuslivesinlockport]

@alexkline I can’t imagine boarding our dog at a place that won’t accommodate a reactive dog. Now that’s very situational but any professional boarding kennel should be able to handle that. Everyone there should be trained on how to handle dogs and what not. We typically board our dog at his day camp and they have the option to go home with one of the employees, we’ve known them for 3 years so we do that. Hope you can figure out something soon. As mentioned above, Deff talk to you vet. I know a handful of vet techs who offer this service esp for special needs dogs.

 

[nerfherder]

@alexkline I did research on the local boarding/daycare places around me. I found a place that was willing to help me and my reactive dog. They asked I bring him in for daycare before trips to get to know them. It does help that my other dog is the sweetest and it they love her at daycare so they were willing to help knowing we had one dog that doesn't need the extra work. But having her there helped my reactive dog relax some. The owner was able to work one on one with my reactive dog to bridge a relationship. They also have options during boarding where he can have a private walk without the other dogs which he is all about. It takes time to build a relationship but I treated my research like a human child mom would when searching for daycare for the human child. I wanted to know the staff, their experience, I wanted tours of the facility. I want webcams so I can see my dogs while they play.

 

[monae]

@alexkline Definitely check with your vet's office -I know people who have had a vet tech stay at their home to take care of medically difficult or reactive dogs- and check with Rover as others suggested.
Also, don't focus on whether your dog will be "happy" during vacation- lower your expectations to "safe." As long as the person watching your dog can manage to do it safely for your dog and others around your dog, it's okay if your dog is somewhat stressed or not getting an ideal amount of exercise. We had our reactive dog stay with our trainer while she (the dog) was still alive.

It's stressful; ease of travel is one of the many reasons I will never keep another reactive dog.

 

[sot]

@monae My vet has a boarding facility and we will be traveling for a week in the future. It’s the only place I felt comfortable putting my dog. It’s helpful too because our other dog takes seizure medications every 8 hours so I know she’ll be taken care of as well.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@monae OMG yes, this. As soon as I switched my mindset from my dog being happy to safe, it made everything so much easier. I just need someone to keep him safe and alive.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@alexkline Have you looked at Rover or otherwise looked for a private dog sitter? You should be able to easily find one without other dogs. I feel like you haven’t exhausted all your options yet.

 

[safsafs]

@alexkline Have you looked into paying someone to stay at your house? My dog is very dog aggressive and costs a fortune to board her in a dog-aggressive kennel. Rover is an option or post on Facebook/Nextdoor to find someone (maybe a teenager??) who could stay at your house and watch the dog. We do this with our dog, as she turned aggressive to my in-laws dog as well. She is way less stressed as she is at her house, and all I ask of the person is to make sure they sleep there. I do make sure I show them what to do with her if they take her on walks. My dog is also reactive to people, so I always make sure we have a female watch her and meet them prior to make sure she’s okay.

 

[cherylsmatbers]

@safsafs I recently found at least 5 sitters on Nextdoor for my reactive pitbull. One came out to meet him the same day and it was a match. Now I can go to my daughter's wedding without having to get an Airbnb. Success!

 

[leslie735]

@alexkline We typically have friends, family members, or neighbors who are acquainted with our dogs to let them out 3 times a day. Since that’s a lot to ask, we try to limit our vacation length if we go this route. I rotate who comes by (making a schedule and sending to everyone) so one person isn’t burdened with having to come by 3 times a day. We have a yard that backs up to a busy street/sidewalk so I have training collars to use on them that beep/vibrate which I have our dog sitters use.

We have also had my MIL stay at our house to take care of the dogs. She is free to come and go, as she has a husband and dogs of her own. She doesn’t mind as she loves our dogs and enjoys some alone time.

We are lucky to have a few people in our arsenal we trust to do dog check-ins/sitting. I try to give them cash or gifts as a thank you. Like others have mentioned, I have used a pet sitter from the internet before I had a reactive dog, and they were really good and made sure to check-in with me to let me know how things were going. I would think if you explained the situation to a service like this they probably have some experience with reactive dogs and may be able to accommodate you.

Don’t give up on your vacation just yet. There are options, it just takes more effort and stress with reactive dogs

 

[bmh3d]

@alexkline I recently transitioned to rover from day care for my dog when I work weekends. It worked out great! My dog has started getting heightened anxiety when dropping her off places and isn't super dog-playful anymore, so I thought she may enjoy someone dropping in to take her for a nice walk more. We met up a few days before where she got to meet my dog and go over her routine. She said my dog did great and sent photos/ a summary of each visit. I think looking for someone who doesn't have any dogs would be a great option as your dog can stay with them and have constant attention.

I definitely feel you. I'm going on vacation next month and have had my dog booked to board at her vet since it's half the price of her daycare. But she's been having severe reactivity at her vet lately to the point she doesn't even want to enter the building and she basically needs medication and a muzzle now. I ended up getting her booked at her regular day care instead and will cancel the vet. I feel like I'm overreacting and everyone says she'll be fine once she's in there but I don't want to force her into an uncomfortable situation and make anything worse.

 

[armageddun]

@alexkline So my dog has issues with strangers coming to the house, so a rover situation of someone staying at the house was not an option. We found a boarding place where we had an option of our dog having play dates with other dogs or just with the counselors. We chose to have him only spend time with counselors because he can get overwhelmed by lots of new dogs. Hopefully, you’ll be able to find a place by you that offers something like that. Our faculty also sent us daily email updates and pictures which helped my worry of him being in a facility. So I would say don’t give up on a boarding facility. Most should be able to accommodate your situation. But definitely be upfront about what you want. Good luck!

 

[henric72]

@alexkline There’s a few boarding places in my area that don’t allow dog to dog interaction. Have you looked for any in your area? Your vet behaviorist or trainer may have recommendations as well. Look for at home daycares that do boarding and ask if they’d be willing to either have someone stay at your home to watch your dog or if someone is available to watch your dog at their home. Our normal boarding place offers dog daycare but also has an exercise option where they are let out by themselves and played with for a few hours a day with just a staff member.

 

[evanlooksuptothealmighty]

@alexkline I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this! My dog, being stranger and dog reactive, is watched only by my MIL too. And my dog recently became more reactive to my MIL’s dog, so I have a lot of empathy for you! Thankfully my dog and hers are crate trained, so my MIL has been doing a lot of “crate and rotate” with them.

I hope you can find something that works for you, and I’m sorry if you have to change your travel plans

 

[rebrum]

@alexkline I’m in a similar position and beyond stressed about boarding. I used to be a Rover sitter and stopped when I got my dog. I didn’t realize what a jackpot I was — we have no dogs of our own and can’t find anyone who matches that criteria

You’re not alone with these feelings, bud

 

[marysson]

@alexkline What about medicine and muzzle training? Just for the trip it might be worth it.

 

[alexkline]

@marysson I did say to my husband we should muzzle train and I ordered one off Etsy this weekend! However my dog is very, very suspicious and I don’t think we’d be able to get him to the point where he’d be comfortable enough to wear a muzzle in the next two weeks. It’s something that I wish we had started sooner (I was pretty uneducated about muzzles and not too keen, but posts here have encouraged me for sure) and at least want to get started ASAP.

I’ve asked the vet a few times about meds, he’s reluctant to prescribe prozac as my dog’s reactivity is also directed at human strangers. He wants us to see a behaviorist first, and recommended one last year which I struggled to make an appointment with. We’ve worked on his reactivity a lot over the last year and I think he’s a lot better, but I can see the warning signs to redirect him, I’m not sure a stranger would unless they were a trainer. I do finally have an appointment with the behaviorist through webex in September while we were supposed to be on vacation—it’s the only appointment they had for the rest of the year.

We’re in a large city with a lot of dogs and apparently a lot of people are having dog issues after the pandemic and going back to work. Lead times just for assessments are long and training availability even longer for reputable trainers.

We do have alprazolam (xanax) for him but I’ve stopped giving it to him as I actually think it makes him worse. I have gabapentin for human use and I’ve seen that medication recommended but it’s not something I’ve spoken to the vet about (after my other dog’s adoption and spay surgery last year she was in pain and it was hard to get in to see a vet so I had a televet appointment and they confirmed it was the same medication for humans and dogs. We didn’t end up using it and I know the dosage for her but she’s a bit smaller and didn’t think about asking for my other dog.)

In general though I’ve been thinking about trying to get a vet appointment and just chatting to my vet about all my concerns without the dog but I was worried that might seem a bit weird. (As in, I’m distressed and I don’t know what to do, can you be my dog therapist?!)