Puppy crying at night & we have neighbours

[karab]

I’ve seen a few of these posts trying to gain some kind of advice from them but I feel like the circumstances of my situation is slightly different ?

So we live in a semi detached house for reference so yano neighbours on the other side of the wall, and It’s 9:30 at night.

My boyfriend has let our 9 week old puppy cry for half an hour straight in her crate (despite her stopping for over 40 seconds at one point, which I would of seen long enough to let her out) and is getting increasingly frustrated at me when I try and talk about the fact that a. it’s 9:30 at night and we have neighbours whom id like to respect and b. alot of advice out there says to not let them cry for longer than 10 minutes as to not let them get in a stressed out and anxious state, and therefore associating that feeling with being in her crate

Feeling a little lost and would love your guys’ experience when it comes to stuff like this

 

[sp33d]

@karab It’s a puppy, so (like a baby) they’re going to make some noises at not ideal times. We wrote our neighbors a note apologizing in advance - you could also buy them a bottle of wine/voucher for Amazon/other small gift.

I would not let the puppy cry it out for that long. You don’t want the puppy to associate the crate with stress, so try to do as many positive things with the crate as possible such as meals, chews, games, etc. we rushed the crate a little too much with our puppy (because he learned to climb over the playpen) and we spent the next nine months undoing that lol. Wouldn’t recommend.

Whenever the pup crys in the crate I would do a potty trip and offer water, then put them back in (or in the playpen if that’s what you’re doing).

 

[karab]

@sp33d Writing them a note & a lil gift is actually a great idea so thanks for that!

 

[sp33d]

@karab Yeah, if they’re normal people they should be excited - and in a little while it could be good for the puppy to meet them as a reward for being patient neighbors

 

[georgeoi]

@karab Move the dog as far away from the shared wall as possible. Send the neighbours a nice note explaining you’re training a new puppy and that you’re sorry about any noise, leave your number and say if it’s unbearable to text you and you’ll let her out.

 

[je5usfre4k]

@karab Knock on your neighbor’s door tomorrow, profusely apologize, and tell them what’s going on and beg their cooperation. It’s a rare person who can’t relate to a sad puppy.

As for the fighting with your BF…you might want to sit down and try to get on the same page for basic stuff. That said, my husband and I probably have argued more about how to handle the dogs than we have about anything else in our 35 year marriage and we love them and each other a TON.

It’s just a tough time. But you’ll get through it!

 

[karab]

@je5usfre4k Thank you x

 

[bulldog34667]

@karab My puppy currently needs a covered kennel. I joke she has FOMO, fear of missing out. I also use some Adaptil spray to help soothe her. I found it at my vet and pet store PetValu.

 

[karab]

@bulldog34667 The spray sounds interesting! i’ll definitely look into that thank you x

 

[wtwalker01]

@karab My puppy will not settle in the crate if it’s closed - took a week of sleeping on the couch to realize if we just left the cage for open and sitting room door shut, he is happy out

 

[marfamu]

@karab Hi! Mine was 12 wo when I introduced the crate (first day I got her) and I was in a similar situation with neighbours and all. Now she’s 18wo and things are so much brighter. What mine initially really wanted/needed to do was to sleep on my lap, I did that first 4-5 days and eventually I’d started putting her in the crate after she fell asleep. That did work during the night but not during the day. Let me share how it was for me:

The first month with her I actually slept on the couch and had the crate next to the couch on some chairs… The ritual was that she first sleeps on my lap, 10~ mins later I put her in the crate, cover the crate on all sides except where I am and slide my hand through the bars. That went on for few days. She woke up multiple times crying, I had to console her but she learned soon that it’s OK

A few days after that I didn’t need to console her, seeing me like that was enough. A few days later I stopped keeping my side uncovered. Then she didn’t need the lap thing anymore.

PS: throughout the entire time (and still) she is on 1xhrs up 2xhrs down schedule. Lately it’s 7-9am up and down until 12, and 1hr up - 2hr down until 5. I guess this practice all day everyday helped her get used to it more.

At midweek 2 I started putting the crate under my desk, where I work every day. Then the ritual became: she goes in the crate with full on blankets, I go back to the couch.

Since week 4 the crate is in the hallway and since week 5 I’ve been sleeping on my own bed. My god, it was a tough ride.

The point is, you have to go at your puppy’s pace. Please please please don’t rush it and don’t do half measures. It’s so hard, I know, but believe me you want them to be OK in there.

Some random tips and potentially a TLDR (for you and other people both):

• Cover the crate with a blanket, it was magical
• White noise / podcast running in the background was really useful for me at some point, then I stopped though
• Make sure it’s not an “I NEED x y z” cry (water / potty etc). It’ll likely take a while until you figure out the attention crying and need crying
• Things shifted drastically when I put my pups bed in the crate. It was weird when my trainer recommended it but I guess it made the crate “smaller” so it became more den-like and also more comfy
• “Let it cry” is bs when the pup doesn’t know the crate is safe. They’re SCARED AF, it’s not a “wtf why am I here I want to catch the ball” protest it’s more like “holy hell I’m gonna die multiple times in a row and I’m so scared there’s nobody here not even my new mom and dad”
• If you go the covered blanket route, make sure they have good ventilation
• BUY AN IP CAMERA, make sure you can monitor your pup in the crate on your phone at ease. If you guys are hearing whining very often, believe me when I say that you’ll start hearing phantom whining VERY soon. Nowadays I hear an “_eek_” somewhere, check my phone, oh she’s OK - back to work
• Give your pup their meals in there. Mine now runs to the crate if she sees me bringing her bowl lol
• Amazon has fans with clips, I have it on the crate and have the cable of that connected to a smart plug. Meaning: You can check on camera and turn on/off the fan without waking them up / alerting them
• Check Crate Games by Susan Garrett. I was late to the party and tried it when my pup already loved the crate (I wanted to do it so that she likes it so much to the point of taking voluntary naps there during the day). So it didn’t do wonders, but hey, probably am no longer the target audience

 

[karab]

@marfamu This is really helpful stuff ! thank you so much