@refei Thank you…life really is so difficult. In all honesty I was planning on taking my own life after putting Athena down…however I couldn’t risk my poor cat suffering that heartbreaking grief of losing both of us
@fightingbull542 Please please don’t. I’ve been there. Please don’t. My dog has kept me alive at times because I know the exact feeling of “I can’t leave them.”
@fightingbull542 I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. Sometimes the most compassionate choice is also the hardest one. It’s so important to allow yourself to grieve, but also to release the guilt for conditions that were far out of your control, and managed with every resource you had.
Folks in this sub are often pointed to a Facebook group called “Losing Lulu” that is just for people going through this after a BE.
@lalady59 I am starting to realize this and am getting better at releasing the guilt and shame I feel for feeling like I failed her or didn’t do enough after speaking to some friends about this really hard time. Thank you for reaffirming this and reminding me to grieve without the need to punish myself. I know Athena passed knowing how much I love her. I appreciate the losing lulu recommendation, I am glad that support like this exists for those of us struggling with such a difficult decision
@fightingbull542 I think that the pain is from how deep your love was. You’re a great human who has to make hard decisions. I think Athena is in a happier place, a dream world, where she isn’t upset anymore and is waiting to play with you again happily.
@jpf I really needed to read this…so thank you so much for commenting…I really do love Athena so much and it hurts so much. I can’t wait to meet with her again and pet her fuzzy face.
@fightingbull542 I didn't know I needed this thread today. I'm sorry for your pain, OP. We have a reactive poodle and a young baby. We are able to keep them apart right now, but she will start crawling soon and we fear the decision we will be forced to make. He's lived and been loved for 12 years, but just won't change... You're not alone.
@emilyap I am glad my post and this thread was able to help you as well. Of course, I don’t know your situation and your reactive poodle…but maybe you can take comfort in knowing that my Athena was actually sooooo good with kids. She loved kids and was always so gentle with them. Unfortunately Athena just feared other adults
@emilyap The best thing to do is have the dog placed elsewhere or put it down. I know you got used to your pet- 12years ...but your baby is far more important.
I have seen national headlines and local California news stories where the baby/ infant/ toddler ends up getting mauled and in many cases to death. Dogs do not understand the difference between wrong and right... Don't allow the dog mauling someone to be the only way to prove that to you. It's not worth it.
@emilyap And when I say placed elsewhere just so others don't think I mean place it in a similar situation, what I mean is a scenario where the dog is more at ease , different ambiance, a different person to care for your pet, understandably a safe place for both pet and caregiver for pet.
I'm sure you understand what I mean but in a different thread someone thinks I meant just to place pet willy nilly anywhere with any persons...
I know it's not easy. I really hope you can re-home your pet in a safe environment.
@fightingbull542 You rescued her from a bad situation and showed her what it means to be loved. That is a good thing. Please be kind and gentle with yourself. You tried and you made the best decision you could.
@fightingbull542 I am so sorry for your loss. The pain must feel immense right now. You did right by your baby and the last gift we give them is to enable them to pass in a loving and dignified way. Just as we wouldn’t accept a dog endlessly sufffering with a terrible physical illness, we give them the same love and dignity with mental illness. You don’t need to justify anything. You did what was best. Hugs and a warm blanket to you as you heal.
@merlinwille49 I really appreciate your kind words. Thank you for this…I was filled with so much guilt and did feel the need to justify the decision. I was having a constant war in my mind..but at the end of the day you are right. I am trying to take peace and comfort knowing that Athena passed quietly with me never leaving her side, hugging her, and speaking with her until the end.
