It’s me, the perfectly behaved dog at the bar patio

[mauricio512]

9 y/o F 80 lb black pit, quietly snoozing on the ground. Ignoring strangers. Actually got growled at and approached by a dog in a wheelchair, and responded by gently licking the other dogs muzzle. Staff and other patrons, telling the two of us what a good girl she is.

You’re probably thinking, hey wrong sub asshole! Wrong. This well mannered bar patron is dog reactive, and the worst separation anxiety I’ve ever seen. Her barrier reactivity in the car or fence with the neighbors dog is a little scary. She’s ripped the ceiling panel airbags out, twice, because she couldn’t handle being alone for ten minutes. She broke her teeth on her indestructible kennel. I would never allow her off leash with another dog, that was not one of our household dogs.

But all of that goes away if you put her harness on and take her out in public. So next time you see a “perfect” dog in public and sigh, wondering what it must be like, remember that you can’t see everything going on in that dogs brain. Your dog might actually be better in every category except for hanging out in a restaurant, which is arguably not the most important skill.

 

[ijonz]

@mauricio512 I once had a woman in our apartment complex compliment me on my dog handling skills because she saw us walking with my dog in a perfect heel, completely focused on me. Little did she know, we were coming back from a walk where my dog's leash reactivity was the worst it had been in awhile - she just happened to see us at a time when there were no other dogs present.

Her daycare staff tell us all the time how well she plays, how well she communicates with other dogs, how sweet she is. Those things are all true! But... she's not on her leash. She's a completely different dog when we see a strange dog while out on a walk, and like you said it can look scary!

This is a great reminder.

 

[aksumite]

@ijonz This is why, when people say to me and my reactive dogs that they are so good, I say “right now” and we all laugh about it.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@aksumite I just said that to a neighbor. Mine are really well behaved, 95% of the time. I’ve worked really hard to train them, and I’m proud of them. But, my male dog is leash reactive and we are still working on that all the time. Thank goodness he is easily distracted by a handful of kibble.

 

[hiccup]

@mauricio512 I went to someone's house once that had 2 dogs. One of the dogs was described as playful and the other dog as super well behaved.

When I went there, neither dog played. Or were playful. One was anxiety ridden and I didn't dare interact with her and the other one didn't even look at me.

Ive been around anxious dogs but I had never seen a dog so completely disinterested. It didn't take treats. It showed zero curiosity in its own home. It didn't have any body language. I just couldn't read the dog at all.

A few weeks later I learnt about shutdown syndrome and exhaustion syndrome and it made sense.

So, don't believe how people describe their dogs either.

 

[mauricio512]

@hiccup My husband used to say “Look how happy Idaho is! He’s smiling!” As he stress pants with big fat whale eyes.

Idaho is a dane/pit mix, that’s just how his face is shaped. He’s extremely uncomfortable and hates the car, but his face is very smiley shaped.

People are so bad at reading dogs.

 

[fideetvirtute]

@mauricio512 Oh god, this.

I got a report card and photo from my pup’s first day at daycare. They were like, look how happy she is! She looked the most manic, over threshold I’d ever seen her. Never went back - how bloody clueless to misinterpret that Cheshire Cat ass smile as happiness

 

[cloudvii]

@fideetvirtute I was so hopeful for daycare but they were isolating her with a pit mix who was “too much” for the other dogs and she was wound so tight when she got home my son would walk her for about 2 hours after just to calm down. The dog daycare owners were insisting that she was having a great time and the other dog was her best friend. No way.

 

[barearth]

@hiccup It’s honestly really wild working at a doggy daycare and hearing how some parents describe their dogs. Some dogs act completely opposite at daycare than how they do at home. I remember one dog who’s dad was telling me about how their dog NEVER barked at home—the guy’s kid would even try to prod/coerce the dog into barking and he still wouldn’t. I think the dad even expressed some concern for how calm and quiet his dog was all the time (the dog was a young puppy at the time). At daycare though, he absolutely would not shut up. He was CONSTANTLY barking and acted like an absolute terror.

 

[cricketts]

@barearth It’s so interesting to read this. My dog was always shy and unsure of new dogs and this developed into fear reactivity after he got attacked. But at daycare? Everyone’s pal! Even the frenchies and the German shepherds which usually send him into a full feral breakdown in the street if I don’t see them in time to do something about it. But he bounds into daycare without a care in the world.

 

[miray]

@mauricio512 My dog loves people. He thinks the pet store is called the Pat Store. He ignores treats, toys, cookies and wants to follow and lean against everyone who passes us. People tell me how well behaved and friendly he is and I think...yeah, you didn't just spend 30 minutes in a vehicle with his whiney ass in the backseat constantly whining until I tell him "Imma bout to pull this car over!"

 

[mauricio512]

@miray My litter mates like to squabble in the car sometimes and that “don’t make me pull this car over” is such a vibe for us

 

[hldawson3]

@mauricio512 my dog going into a store with me and doing his little service dog tasks: a perfect angel, wouldn’t bark if you bit him on the ass, has never been mean a day in his life

my dog on a little walkie in the neighborhood: no one can look at me or i will make them regret the day they were born!!! is that a CAT?!?! i’ll kill him!!! mom a man is coming toward you to murder you from 89 feet away i have to scare him by lunging and snarling like a madman

inside you are two wolves? one is well behaved and the other is clinically insane

 

[one12man]

@mauricio512 Everyone tells me how amazingly obedient my GSD is. She obeys every command, has a repertoire of fancy tricks. She is amazing with people and so well behaved around my new baby niece. She goes to doggy daycare and they love her there, never had any issues. When friends stay at my house they are all out in the garden playing with her and getting her to do tricks.

But when another dog comes towards me or anyone she considers family, she looks like she wants to rip its face off. Barking, lunging, growling. I can't have her off lead in a space where other dogs might get close because if she sees them as a threat she will go for them. It's worse with nervous dogs. They run up to her then get scared and run away crying and she bolts after them. So even though they approached first, everyone thinks my dog is the asshole.

 

[mauricio512]

@one12man Don’t you love when people tell you how “lucky” you are for your well behaved dog? Like you didn’t spend thousands of hours on training your dog?

 

[happygirl1016]

@mauricio512 Wait… they don’t come that way??

 

[mauricio512]

@happygirl1016 Nope you get lucky and either get a good dog or a bad dog.

 

[celtish]

@mauricio512 A few neighbors have told me how well my dog is doing and they seem shocked when I explain we train every. single. day. And yes, she’s doing great at this moment but if she sees certain dogs, she’s gonna lose her shit either because she wants to play (the two about her size) or she’s telling them to stay away (the one that charged her and the two that look like dogs that have charged her). All that nattering I do and the nonsensical phrases … all cues for my dog.

 

[bibleloverbill]

@one12man Ugh, I relate to every word of this. I could have written it about my ACD.

 

[etujofily]

@mauricio512 I also own a "good" reactive dog. Its taken a long time and some drugs but we've finally gotten her polite on leash, even with other dogs. She'll put up with a pretty impressive amount of shit from off leash dogs getting up in her business too.

But she still turns into cujo once a year for three minutes and we will never, ever trust her.