Dog Groomers: write an instant nightmare in 5 words or less

[greycat]

@legionness More than five words but some called the other day looking for “A same day appointment for my double doodle”

 

[legionness]

@greycat "Sorry, we only do single doodles and our next available doodle appointment is February 30th, 2023"

 

[jay1969]

@greycat What is a double doodle??

 

[kvasas]

@jay1969 A Goldendoodle x Labradoodle mix. So a double mutt, that probably cost them $5000.

I'm a doodle owner. I do NOT get the people who think that their mutt is some prizewinning show dog. I just call mine a "Poodle mix" because "those" doodle people have made those of us who - a. take care of our dogs, and - b. realize they're just mutts look like idiots too. /sigh

 

[jay1969]

@kvasas Oh geez. Thanks for the explanation

Also your pups are adorable and I would definitely ask to snuggle them

 

[kvasas]

@jay1969 Aww, thanks!

 

[miss777]

@legionness Sibling puppies' first groom.

He still shed after lastime

My daughter brushes him. (Daughter will be in preschool, you just know it.)

 

[neveralone96]

@legionness He doesn’t bite.

Huskey

It’s only play nibbles

 

[mccra76]

@legionness Senior with heart condition.

 

[jacob126]

@legionness had to turn away a severely matted pomeranian telling the owners this is a job for a Vet as it would take hours and it would be very uncomfortable for their dog he should be under sedation, and they said “we’ll just do it our selves”. i was so mad i cried .

 

[legionness]

@jacob126 I would feel the same way omfg.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@legionness So I’m thinking a summer shave down for my Samoyed husky mix?

 

[raytheon]

@legionness Can I stay and help

 

[kedar2020]

@legionness "First groom, 10 months old."

 

[legionness]

Adding in more:

Tries to bite the shears

Screams for nails

"Why is this $100????"

Comes in reeking of skunk

Poops all over themself

Pisses on the table

Nonstop phone calls

Overly dramatic drop-offs

"These mats must've started yesterday"

Caked in mud and sticks

Owner rages over basically nothing

No hot water

Ran out of shampoo

No more towels

Gets bitten

Drops shears/clippers on the floor

 

[deepak1]

@legionness All of the new doodle parents. Takes them a few years before they just get a 1/2 in all over

 

[greycat]

@deepak1 recently groomed some sort of shih tzu mix for its first full haircut and they decided to do 1 inch because they wanted to go “shorter for the summer”

 

[sjb]

@legionness I asked my new groomer to ‘poodle my doodle’ recent over the phone. There was no response. I thought the phone went dead… apparently she thought I was pranking her and was about to hang up on me.

We made the appointment and he looks fantastic!!!!!

 

[isihija]

@legionness First thing I thought of but not from a client... anal glands in my mouth

 

[legionness]

@isihija It's any nightmare tbh, just a LOT of them start with the owners and brb throwing up a lil