Does your dog sleep in your bed?

[inneed1012]

I follow a trainer I generally like, and he’s posted about not letting dogs on furniture/in your bed if you can’t verbally ask them to get “off” or if they have separation anxiety or other various reasons. But today he posted about reactive dogs not being allowed in your bed and I’m conflicted over this. It’s a very broad statement so I guess take it with a grain of salt, go case by case? My boy is 8 almost 9 years old and he’s a little nervous with new people but never EVER reactive toward people just other dogs. And it’s only if they make extended eye contact with him. His behavior is managed, he’s very obedient, we still go hiking and walking and eating on patios because I know how to prevent him from being triggered (save somebody’s loose dog running up to us but that’s their fault and not in my control). We just don’t go to dog parks or day care or anything like that. He sleeps in my bed, on my couch, in my lap… he’s very very affectionate and cuddly. He loves to be in anybody’s reach to be petted and he sleeps at the foot of our bed every night. He always has. Is that really the reason why he’s like this? The trainer was saying reactive dogs often don’t have appropriate boundaries set so furniture and bed causes confusion but my dogs all have clear boundaries and expectations, including the reactive one. We spent a year training him in advanced obedience so he felt comfortable in his space and in public. He gets off if we tap him and say “off.” I genuinely don’t think boundary setting us the issue here but I wonder if I’m wrong. We have an 8 month old puppy that we set boundaries with from day one, that’s not something we take lightly in our house.

Edit:

https://imgur.com/a/Nkhh4BD

this is us currently. He just really likes to cuddle and the second I say move, he moves. Yes I do have a reactive golden retriever. Breed doesn’t matter.

 

[devinbaker]

@inneed1012 Personally, I don’t understand having dogs in your life and not thoroughly enjoying their company. I only kick out my dogs out the room for sexytime, they understand it, and just go and chill somewhere else. But otherwise I love sleeping with my dogs. My pittie mix is super affectionate and is just a perfect little spoon. My wolfie is similarly affectionate but he curls up next to us and just snoozes peacefully. If they’re a bit dirty from the day, they understand to sleep on their dog beds… so it just depends.

Both of these are rescues and reactive with dogs, the wolfie is also very anxious and fearful (as is expected) and hates new people. Still, I’ve not noticed them not listening or being worse off because of sharing quality time with me and co-sleeping. It’s a wild claim that doesn’t make that much sense

 

[kidwindy001]

@devinbaker Not related to the original post in any way, but sometimes my dog will be passed out in another room and the second sexytime starts, she just appears and gets all excited like “what game are you guys playing? looks like fun!”

 

[ijonz]

@kidwindy001 I swear they have a sixth sense for it. Mine could be passed out cold, we could be silent, but she KNOWS the second we start something and will immediately run in and squeeze between us We have to shut the door or crate her.

 

[abbbbeeelllleee]

@kidwindy001 My dog comes rushing in and always tries to lick me and is so curious about what mom and dad are doing and is this a game she can play too lmao. She's a giant dog breed mind you xD

 

[walterbl]

@kidwindy001 …and they’re more than willing to lend a nose or tongue

 

[kidwindy001]

@walterbl Oh yes, always!

 

[jwdoctrine]

@kidwindy001 Mine is the complete opposite. She will hear us kissing and she’ll walk out the room.

 

[ericab]

@devinbaker I don’t understand how not wanting your dogs in your bed = not enjoying their company? I enjoy the company of my children immensely, they also sleep in their own beds.

 

[lookingforhelp96]

@ericab I think the distinction is that the trainer is saying even if you WANT your dog on the furniture with you, you shouldn’t allow it, for their own good. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting your dog in the furniture if that’s not your preference!

 

[thepantheistexplorer]

@lookingforhelp96 My Chihuahua is laying next to me on the couch, I'd feel lonely if she wasn't with me. My other dog gets back from training soon, and his trainer will grump that I'll let him on the furniture.

 

[lookingforhelp96]

@thepantheistexplorer I love snuggling with my dog on the couch, but we have a no-pets-in-the-bedroom rule, so I get the best of both worlds- a good night’s rest and lots of beagle snuggles throughout the day.

 

[thepantheistexplorer]

@lookingforhelp96 It's just a me at night, no we, so a king size bed is enough room for a Chihuahua to have her own pillow and my larger mutt at my feet.

 

[sarah999]

@ericab Agreed. To me they disturb my sleep by moving around and also I just find it gross in general, I don’t want hair, ticks and grime in my bed. My dog has her own extra comfy bed in my room!

 

[beechcott]

@devinbaker My dog also sleeps in the bed with me. She's reactive and can be a huge turd. If I ask her to leave the bed or couch, she will usually make a gruff or bark at me as she proceeds to get down from the bed or couch but I've never had to fight with her over it... Shes a cattledog mutt and I was told it's common for cattledogs to "talk back" though so I don't think that's a problem. She's pretty cuddly so it's nice when I'm sad to have her sort of comfort me

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@inneed1012 IMO that advice is bullshit and I think that any trainer who makes blanket statements like that is probably a shit trainer. That's just my opinion.

 

[inneed1012]

@imagebeastmarkbeast I do think the advice holds some merit for certain situations. I also know not one influencer or whomever is going to have one statement/advice that’s applicable to everybody.

 

[ezrael]

@inneed1012 Honestly, I don't really understand why we have collectively decided to let influencers impact our lives this much. The advice is probably bullshit and they succeeded in getting us to talk and think about them. A broken clock is right twice a day - but you fix it or throw it out, not talk about how it's right sometimes.

 

[aspiegrace]

@inneed1012 Was the trainer talking about reactive dogs in general? (Which is what it sounded like to me). I don't think there's any good basis for disallowing furniture for reactivity in general (or the mentioned separation anxiety, for that matter). How is setting that boundary supposed to help an overreaction to another dog on a walk, for example?

If the dog has some guarding issues, and is resource guarding the bed, then it could be sound advice.

 

[lee]

@aspiegrace

How is setting that boundary supposed to help an overreaction to another dog on a walk, for example?

The thought is that if you're allowing your dog up on your furniture or in your bed you are putting him as your equal when the dog should be below you. When you are a strong leader for your dog they will be more likely to respect you which leads to more control when on walks