Will my rescue dachshund ever get used to small children?

[tranquilcs]

Hi all, we adopted a 6 year old dachshund (N) a year ago and he came to us because he struggled with kids. His previous owners had a young son (around 3 years old) and N would get so anxious/excited around the child that he would grab the child's clothes (the ones he was wearing), lock his jaw and not let go. It got so bad that the family would have to strip the child off to free him from N. As I understand it, the house was quite anxious generally. N joins our other dachshund (Z) who is super chill. The past year we have dedicated tremendous time to training N and he has improved in leaps and bounds and has been really and geniunely great with kids! We don't yet have kids but the children who would visit would be very well treated by N (he remained calm). Recently we took the dogs to a friend's house for a bbq and N freaked out around our friend's kid - he would cry, pace and panic (the child was quite boisterous and loud) so badly that we had to take him home and since then it has gotten worse. N freaked around my baby nephew who is newly crawling and I'm worried what this means for when we have kids of our own of crawling is all it takes to set N off. N was on a lot of medication before we adopted him and I would prefer not to do that to him again as he was miserable. And we really don't want to rehome him again. Has anybody had a similar experience and succeeded to rectify the problem? Any training recommendations? We are open to anything. Thanks in advance!

 

[gd3001]

@tranquilcs It doesn’t sound like he enjoys being around children, is there any reason you keep pushing it?

 

[tranquilcs]

@gd3001 I don't know that I've been pushing him but he has just displayed some great progress so I guess I overestimated how he would be. I just don't want him to be anxious in his own home if we have children so I would like to slowly build his confidence up for when we do have kids.

 

[foreverandaday]

@tranquilcs The thing is…. You adopted the dog knowing he had kid aggression issues as an adult dog. And the breed is known for not being especially good with kids.

It’s reasonable to think that you can desensitize him to calm children in a controlled environment, but as you see, it takes very little to set him back to square one (or 0 or -3) and now you need to start over. And you should probably consider some form of anxiety meds, however, many of them can lower bite inhibition.

This dog will probably NEVER be comfortable around small, loud, unpredictable children (by which I mean kids generally. This describes ALL kids). If you plan to have kids while you have this dog, you need to plan that from Day 1 that there is ZERO contact between the dog and the baby/toddler. This means crates, yard time, gates, doors. The equivalent of crate and rotate. For the record, this should be true of ANY dog with a new baby in the house, but it’s doubly true here, and probably forever.

I’m a little concerned that you don’t think you were pushing the dogs boundaries. Calm, controlled, older (?) kids in his home are about 6 million training steps different than loud, boisterous strangers kids in someone else’s home. Crawling kids and kids that can walk are also very very different. As you increase his exposure, he should NEVER get agitated to the point of “crying, pacing, and panicking” that means you missed a whole bunch of early cues that the dog was uncomfortable.

 

[holywalk]

@tranquilcs Something I’ve noticed is that people expect dogs to be trained to be around kids but don’t necessarily teach their kids how to behave around dogs.

My dog actually likes kids and babies, but I noticed a few times he was starting to get uncomfortable with toddlers because some parents let their kids use him as a toy … jumping on him, pulling his tail, kicking or punching or pulling fur … and the dog is just supposed to “be patient with kids.” (Actual words from a mom who said her kid liked to stick his fingers in dogs eyes ).

He *was extremely patient, actually, but he shouldn’t have to be. I can’t control how other folks parent their kids, but I can advocate for my dog and take him out of that situation.

I think you will be ok because you’ll be focused on both your babies, making sure your Doxie’s needs are met and teaching your kiddos what’s appropriate. Of course during the interim teaching phase you might need to manage and keep them separate, the idea you posted about a crate or pen is a good one.

 

[holywalk]

@tranquilcs Just saw this and thought you might like it!

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[tranquilcs]

@holywalk Thanks so much

 

[anxioussleeper]

@tranquilcs Dogs that have trouble being around children shouldn't have to share space with children. Period.

If you adopt a dog because it is uneasy around children surely the premises for adopting is that you are not going to expose the dog to children? Why else would you want to take that kind of dog?

Stop exposing him to children. It's an accident waiting to happen. Postpone your own plans of getting children until the dog is gone.

Getting a dog that was rehomed because it doesn't go with children only to rehome it again because you want to have children of your own... Did you not think this through at all?

 

[aaronfrisien]

@tranquilcs was your nephew crawling in your house or another house?

going to another house is a sensory load and with a noisy kid thrown in maybe it triggered his poor experiences memory.

I'd probably just keep him away from boisterous kids and see how he goes with kids being chill around him at his home. Does he have somewhere you can stop the kids going that he can retreat to in your house if it gets too much?

Sounds like you've been doing well and remember progress is not linear. Good luck

 

[tranquilcs]

@aaronfrisien Thank you so much for your response! My nephew was crawling around in my house but I definitely agree that bringing him to that friend's house was a mistake - I think I thought he had done so well that he could be in a new environment like that but I clearly misjudged it.

I've been thinking its a good idea to get him a crate for him to retreat to (door will always be open). I've been training him to go to his bed and I'm trying to make that his safe space. Lots of rewards when he chooses to go there and I try to leave him be while he's there. Maybe a crate that he doesn't go to bed overnight in is a good idea?

My worry is that it's like he fixates on the child and he won't listen to what I'm saying. It's like all his training goes out the window.

 

[holywalk]

@tranquilcs Crate training is great for anxious dogs! It can be his little safe space just for him.

 

[tranquilcs]

@holywalk Thanks, I'll look into that for sure. I guess it adds that extra bit of security as its closed off (i.e. it has "walls" and a "roof") that a bed doesn't have? I can put blankies and toys in there for him and make it a place he loves to retreat to.

 

[holywalk]

@tranquilcs For sure! My dog likes to go in his crate to hide from the roomba. He also takes his naps in there after a walk, or after daycare. But he doesn’t usually choose to sleep there at night … he seems to go in when he wants to decompress after a lot of stimulation. But it’s always there for him if he wants it.

We took him to a dog birthday once with 5 other dogs, including puppies, and he attempted to enter the (much smaller) birthday boy’s crate. I realized he wanted to kind of retreat a bit and be left alone

 

[aaronfrisien]

@tranquilcs How soon after the noisy kid did he meet your nephew? Maybe he was still wound up.

I would take small steps and gradually introduce them to each other with your boy able to escape the little human. Keep the first meeting super short,maybe a hello before he goes out for a walk? Reward the no reaction.

Crate or bed I don't think it matters, whatever works for him and you but there is no guarantee one will be better than the other.

 

[tranquilcs]

@aaronfrisien It would have been maybe 3 weeks between meeting the noisy kid and my little nephew.

Thanks, that's great advice and I'll definitely give that a go. Bite sized pieces makes perfect sense

I'm also actively trying not to punish but to keep calm and correct the behavior with a diversion. I.e. taking him away from the scene, getting him to go to his relaxation place and then treating him when he chills out. It's just very hard when a child is there.

 

[aaronfrisien]

@tranquilcs you're doing it right.

Hard not to punish sometimes but yes keeping calm is the better way.

Sure others have good advice as well.

One last thing,if he is a little worn out from a long walk or play session is he anymore chill around the kids?

 

[tranquilcs]

@aaronfrisien Thanks so much, you've helped more than I can say. That's a good question, I'll test that and see if he needs a good sesh to tire him out. My two dashies are lazy daisies but I'll make a point of tiring them out a bit. Great advice!

 

[davecb]

@tranquilcs

N was on a lot of medication before we adopted him and I would prefer not to do that to him again as he was miserable.

How did he show that he was, "miserable"?

And, was that worse than how he behaves around kids that bother him? To the point where you had to go home?

If he needs medication to get thru life in a calmer frame of mind...so? Especially if you have kids at some point, the big thing will be to make sure that nothing like this:

he would grab the child's clothes (the ones he was wearing), lock his jaw and not let go. It got so bad that the family would have to strip the child off to free him from N.

happens again. Behavioral drugs, when they work properly, allow a dog to go thru life calmer, and safer.

It would be very hard to re-home this dog again. He wouldn't be able to go to a home with kids, or a home that has kids visiting, or maybe even to a home that is next door to a bus stop, a school, kids in general, that would set him off. If he's with you, he sounds like he's in a safe place, but he probably will need drugs.

Have you spoken to your doctor about behavioral meds?

The problem with training a dog like this to not bite kids is that he probably really does sometimes want to bite a kid. And at age 6, and on his second home, that's going to be his go-to behavior. I'd probably talk to your vet about behavioral drugs, and recognize this dog's limits.

Recently we took the dogs to a friend's house for a bbq

So that's a situation where you can't control things as much as this dog needs. I'd probably leave him home, where he feels safe, and where he's not going to bite some random kid.

 

[fayemarie91]

@davecb I know this is not really helpful, but sometimes I want to bite kids. I’m much happier the less exposure I have to them, so probably pup would benefit from the same strategy.

 

[davecb]

@fayemarie91

I’m much happier the less exposure I have to them, so probably pup would benefit from the same strategy.

I agree and it's why I said that this dog shouldn't be going to friend's homes for a BBQ. There's just nothing good that come from that, especially a small, angry dog. Some kid will go to see if they can get a reaction from him, and the it's going to be a giant shit show.