Rehomed my puppy, but have the chance to get her back. Is it a good idea?

[areelius]

Back in late December I got a puppy ( 9 week old Aussie x German Shepherd) as a gift from my cousin, who I live with. Very quickly I realized just how much it is to take care of a pup of her kind & especially comparing to the lifestyle I had before, which consisted of gaming and hanging w friends. A month and a few days had passed, puppy blues were hitting HARD and I felt so drained n defeated, but mostly sad bc I thought I failed her. While we had somewhat of a routine I didn’t keep her as active as I should & around the time I had reached “my limit” was when she started getting bored, as a result of the lack of outside time needed for her. Thankfully the people we got her from were more than happy to take ger back and even knew someone in their family who could take her so not only would she visit her family (mom dad & sister they kept) but would be with an active owner!
They took her late January and since then have allowed me updates, pics, and videos! Though their plans fell through and she has been with them. The most recent time I asked for updates she brought up the fact that if I’m in the position to take her back, I can. Free of charge, would simply allow her back (I say this because we originally paid for her.) She was/is overall a good puppy, and honestly it’s just a matter of me needing to change my ways. My cousin however believes that the heavy rain coming up, things will be the same, and she is too much for me (the fact that I rehomed in the first place doesn’t help but I know where she’s coming from) and says no. I realize the mistakes I made and I know I wouldn’t be here had I stuck it out, but I can’t stop thinking about the thought of having a second chance with her and really doing things right this time around. She is 5 months now so I believe it’ll be easier than before in some ways but feel free to let me know your opinions and what you all think. (Also! She still responds to the name I gave her and the lady sent a video of it and it just brought me to tears& all the good memories came back )

Puppy Tax!

TL;DR : I was gifted a puppy and rehomed her back to the breeder since it was too much, but they’ve offered to give her back. My cousin believes it’s not a good idea n says no given how active her breed is for my lifestyle. But I realize what mistakes were made and I want to do better this time.

 

[antuongpro]

@areelius If you’re looking for an honest opinion, no you should not take her back. That would absolutely not be fair to the dog. Sure she’s a little older now which likely means potty training if progressing as well as sleeping through the night but her activity levels are also increasing. If, at 9-13 weeks of age you already weren’t able to meet her exercise needs I am not sure you’ll be able to do it now at 5 months. This breed of dog is extremely high energy, needs tons of stimulation and will still get bored. Not to mention, she very well could start her first heat cycle at any time. I mean this with complete respect for you, the lifestyle you have described for yourself seems better suited to getting a cat. Dogs aren’t for everyone, and there isn’t anything to feel ashamed about if one just doesn’t suit your lifestyle.
It also baffles me that a breeder would be so willing to give a dog back to someone who’s already rehomed it once, this is a red flag imo.

 

[areelius]

@antuongpro Thank you for this ! I totally understand what you mean and it makes sense. I work at home and have lots of free time and don’t put my energy into much else and while I think it is a good responsibility to have, realistically I have to remember I rehomed for a reason and as easy as it is to say I want her, I know there’s so much more to it. Also I didn’t know if I should call them breeders, they’re people I met through a friend bc their dogs had an unplanned litter (sure some will still say it was irresponsible on their end) and that’s how we ended up getting her. We did pay so idk if that then classifies them as a breeder? She was technically my first pet & all this is a first time experience so excuse my lack of knowledge in that area

 

[abstractrythm234]

@areelius You picked a hell of a breed for a first pet.

Neither of those breeds are for first timers!!! If you want to try again with a do, I would recommend giving an older dog a chance. I can tell that you care but this puppy will have you losing your marbles for a while. 5 months isn’t better AT ALL. That dog will be an absolute handful for at least three years.

A lot of breed specific rescues have a lot of background info on the dogs they take in and even have volunteers that are happy to drive a good distance to get the dog to you. There are a lot of Facebook groups for things like this! Look up breeds that would work better for your lifestyle and look for a rescue in your area.

A lot of the older dogs at rescues like this are perfectly good pets that ended up in a bad situation (owner got sick, died, has very sick family, has a child and the baby is horribly allergic, etc.) and the owner had to give them up. Usually, the owner is devastated but it’s the best choice for them. You should explore this option if you are still wanting to get a dog. Don’t beat yourself up about this one! We live and we learn!

 

[roadrunner1]

@abstractrythm234 You have easily given the best advice on this thread! I came to say the same thing. Perhaps if OP would like to try dog ownership again, doing it with a dog that is already an adult, generally well behaved, and has low energy requirements would be a much better option.

Considering OP is new to dogs, it may be worthwhile to volunteer at a local humane society, shelter, or rescue just to get acquainted with general behaviors and quirks.

 

[abstractrythm234]

@roadrunner1 Thank you! I’ve been on the opposite end of this. My old roommate had a large, aggressive, improperly trained German Shepard/Malanois mix. 90lbs at a year old. He had too much energy and not enough stimulation. You want to know what her solution to that was? Get it a friend!!! So she goes and gets an Aussie puppy.

I have an 80lb senior citizen Ridgeback mix that is sweet as pie. They terrorized him. He used to be good with other dogs but now he shows some aggression towards new dogs and it really hurts my heart.

 

[stephen_nz]

@areelius No. Don’t take back dogs or boyfriends that you already got rid of once. Let them move on.

 

[queriesrus]

@areelius No, you definitely should not. Adolescence is hard. You will likely rehome again.

 

[happycamper843]

@areelius As someone who was also a home body and rarely exercised, I got a puppy to help assist with that. And so far he’s completely changed my life and health.

HOWEVER, I didn’t do it alone. While having the puppy, I was also working with a therapist. If you want to give this puppy a second chance and believe you can, please do it the smart way. The puppy won’t magically solve the issues you’re having. It may be good to seek out a professional to help you get through this. Dog or not, you can’t keep yourself inside and not exercising. It’s so incredibly dangerous for your health. A dog can be a wonderful tool for assistance but NOT ALONE. You have to add another layer and I think you should seek a professional if you do take your puppy back

 

[areelius]

@happycamper843 Thank you for this I agree and it’s perfect sense especially when I think about how things were the first time around, not only was I feeling all of these (completely normal) puppy blues, but I was basically doing it alone as I didn’t have any outlet like a therapist or someone at least along side me to work those things out. I am doing a whole lot better in terms of my mental & being outside and more active n it has improved my quality of life, but can still be improved, I don’t have a therapist still but it is something I will be looking into as soon as possible not just for the sake of maybe getting her back, but for me in general

 

[iamnobody58]

@areelius No

You like your current inactive lifestyle and will likely resent this dog for changing that, as you did the first time.

Radically change your lifestyle first. If you can manage that, then maybe you can consider getting a dog. An older, less active one. Let this one go to a more suitable home.

 

[sallama]

@areelius I don't think anyone here can say whether or not the idea is good without understanding what your actual plans are regarding changes you recognize you would need to make.

Would you be open to detailing what changes you intend to make for this commitment? What steps are you intending to make to prevent or overcome the challenges you were previously facing? Will you be working with a trainer to learn how to better communicate with this dog and to help you overcome potential behavior challenges as they come up? What research have you done in this time to understand and set realistic expectations?

How will you be setting yourself and this pup up for success?

Side note... Adolescence phase of development can be really challenging for some people.. Just as challenging as young puppies 8-12 weeks of age. There is another fear phase they go through before they mature into adulthood.

What are your physical exercise plans but more importantly, what are your mental enrichment plans? Training an off switch for learning how to relax will be extremely important as well.

Let's talk the decision through to help you make the best choice for you and this pup.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@sallama This is a great response.

 

[stsivo]

@areelius i don’t really want to say yes or no, but have you already changed your ways? there’s no point in getting her back if you haven’t, because you can say left and right that you’re gonna change this time around but are you going to follow through? it’d be a completely different story if you were already living an active lifestyle but it doesn’t sound like you are, which would end up hurting the puppy in the long run because she’ll be moving from home to home.

for example, people who get a gym membership but never go past the first month. in my personal experience, i kept telling myself i’m gonna go to the gym! i’ll buy a membership n go consistently! but i never had in the past. so i started working out at home, and i told myself if i was being consistent with it then i’d get an actual gym membership and i did end up being consistent with it and so i got myself a membership and i’m consistent in going to the gym. start living the lifestyle you need to in order to provide the puppy the life it deserves and then consider getting the puppy back.

 

[areelius]

@stsivo That makes so much sense! The gym reference totally makes it understandable n relatable lol After she left and I got all that time back I realized how bad¿ or just lazy it was before and now have been doing things differently like going out of the house more, socializing and meeting new people, and as for activities i spend more time outside gardening, tending to plants and doing whatever I can to not be sitting around for longer than 30 mins at a time. I know there’s more work with myself to be done though, and I talked it out with the Puppy Lady and she said that there’s no rush and no pressure.. I just hope that I can further better myself before they can no longer take care of her because then I basically fully lose her if that makes sense! I think the biggest thing is the attachment but I do realize there’s more to it

 

[lifehappenss]

@areelius If you’re on good terms with them, would they be willing to let you walk her regularly until you’re absolutely sure you can take her back? Lots of comments here saying no, but I believe you can change for the better. It would be a happy ending . I had a lifelong fear of dogs from a childhood experience and managed to overcome it for my (family’s) pup. It wasn’t easy but so worth it.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@lifehappenss If it was a pug or shihtzu or something maybe but a German shepherd and Aussie? Those dogs need a job. They cannot sit around the house and go for a simple walk once a day.

 

[lifehappenss]

@imagebeastmarkbeast Yes I mentioned that OP could change in a way that allows them to care for their dog. Maybe there is a dog park nearby or they could throw ball with them? You assume that the next owner can do all these things which is also not a given..

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@lifehappenss Yeah, a probably unsocialized high energy working dog in a dog park is definitely a great solution. /s

What if they find someone with a large property or a lifestyle conducive to that breed that can enrich the dogs life instead of going to a dog park (always a bad idea!) and then sitting in a crate or an apartment most of the day? is it fair to the dog if op decides that he actually can’t handle this when this dog hits 11 months old and has to be rehomed again? Because 5 months is easy adolescence is hard. Sounds more like op wants to receive updates and pictures of the dog and now that the dog may be adopted out to a better home, he won’t get that. I’m not really hearing anything that says that op is willing to change to enrich a dog like that’s life. It’s not a matter of taking the dog to a dangerous dog park and once a day walk for this breed.

 

[jasonws]

@imagebeastmarkbeast I have a pug puppy. Surprisingly, they are not the couch potatoes that the adults are. They mellow out to the typical pug energy around 2 but damn are they hyper those first 2 years! Wouldn't trade her for the world though!!