Reactive dogs aren’t trying to give you a hard time they’re having a hard time

ruzou

New member
Just wanted to put this out there for anyone that has a reactive dog and is struggling. I heard this saying a while ago and it really opened my eyes that my reactive dog just has big feelings about some things and its not her fault for not knowing how to control them on her own. When I was at the park today it really hurt me to see how some people treat their reactive dogs. I saw some lady I was walking a far distance behind and when her dog noticed my dog it kept turning around and stopping. I made sure to stop and give her more space but then I saw her get super angry and pull/choke her dog up by the leash. She kept popping the leash hard n yelling at the dog meanwhile all the dog was doing was looking not even reacting.

I then saw someone with their german shepherd offleash it looked like they were with a “trainer” and as we were passing I saw the e-collar in the trainers hand and I then saw the dog jump up a little from the shock he must’ve given the dog for fixating on us. I knew the owner probably had no idea of the damage that this trainer was doing. It just really upsets me to see these things. I was once a reactive dog owner that didn’t know where to turn and what to do and worked with a trainer that was just terrible and I’m so happy I got my dog away from them. It makes me so angry seeing “trainers” like this. Really do your own research when finding a trainer, I wish I could’ve said something to that lady.
 
@ruzou My pup was more reactive and has gotten a lot better as she's gotten older and this thinking really helped me.

I also moved to a new city where people seem more guarded about letting their dogs interact on leash but also when I ask if my dog can say hi, they can say no cause their dog is reactive. I always respond that it's no problem and tell my pup that they are working on their training and we can say hi another time.

Basically my tldr is reactive dogs arent bad dogs or defective in some way. They just have to be comfortable and you have to set them up for success to have good meetings so that they can be more comfortable in future situations.
 
@ajfoyt You said it. Mine would lung at everything and bark uncontrollably. The older he gets the better he gets. We’ve done so much to train him and get him to where he is now. So proud of my baby boy.
 
@ruzou This. So. Much. I remember those days when we would be holding on to the end of the leash for dear life, praying for his lunging to be over whenever he saw a trigger.

I finally realized....our puppy was adopted at 5 months. No one ever taught him during his crucial learning periods that he totally has the option to look at a dog and walk away!!!! Until we started working on counter conditioning, he only knew 'I SEE DOG EITHER I PLAY OR FIGHT.' I can only imagine the amount of stress that put on him.

It was awful. But once I changed my mind and thought about how my dog was feeling, it changed everything. Also working with a positive reinforcement trainer to help us break things down and be really open and honest about what it would take to work on the reactivity.
 
@zobers Sure!!!! Our trainer's credentials are "CPDT-KA, Certified Professional Dog Trainer - Knowledge Assessed" which involved working under another trainer for about 300 hours or so, and then testing/knowledge assessments.

Two books that she recommended and we are using to guide our reactivity training: Karen Pryor - Pattern Games and "Mine" by Jean Donaldson for resource guarding of me. Of note, after we started reactivity training, resouce guarding has gone down.

The first concept I really had to understand was how important managing the environment is - especially when you start training. This one was tough for me to swallow, especially when I was already overwhelmed with all the training and feeling like my adolesecent puppy was taking over my life (true feelings, I know i'm not alone on this one).

Basically, "Set your dog up for success."

Our trainer was straight forward - and she was right. For example, our dog would look out the window and bark at dogs passing by. The first step for management - she helped me put wax paper on the bottom of the window so he couldn't see out. I was distraught initially thinking, "Am I going to forever live in a dark house?" But....I started reading more about dog psychology, and found A LOT of parallels to child and human development psychology. Step noe - remove the triggers, and avoid them. Avoid them like the plague. Our dog could not walk by another dog on the opposite side of the street before without lunging and barking. So for the first week or so, we were constantly scanning the environment when we went out, and the second we saw a dog or thought there was a dog - we would high tail it in a different direction.

This was hard....really hard at first, especially because it meant walks were not fun for me. But I had to change my mind on that, and invest the time now to help him learn what we needed him to learn.

But once he was able to work in a trigger free environement, we started counter conditioning, and it only took about a week of consistent training (just whenever we went out for a few mintues at a time) to see a difference. The most important part was knowing his threshold and keeping him under threshold, not putting him in situations where he would likely react.

Once we learned and really understood that we needed to remove the triggers that would cause him to trigger stack and start going crazy mouthing and jumping, we started counter conditioning. The first thing we did was "Look at That" training (Karen Pryor). It felt so small at first, clicking and treating at EVERYTHING while our dog was looking at things outside, but I swear, after a few days of consistent hard core work - he started to relax outside.

I had never noticed it before, thinking he was just a 9-month old puppy, but he did not really relax outside. Yes, he would sniff, but he was also on the lookout. After we started "Look at that" training, he learned that he could see anything - any trigger and choose not to react. That doing nothing was an option.

We also worked on other pattern games by Karen Pryor. It feels so small, but it totally makes sense. When our dog learned that he could reliably predict a pattern, he started turning to me when he got stressed our uncertain outside, I would do our 1-2-3 pattern or the "Up down" pattern game, and try to get him back under threshold (or not) and we would continue. It was almost like it gave us a language to communicate with our dog and for him to communicate with us.

We don't use the word "no." Dogs don't understand english. I felt so silly for not realizing this at first, but "no" doesn't relaly tell him what to do or what we want instead. It just leads to a confused "stop" and it's not clear why we said it. Was it hte movement? the sniffing? the bird? He knows that "uh-uh" is an interruptor for serious things like - heading towards an electric wire in a pool of water level of "don't do that!" but we also learned that anytime we interrupt a behavior it must either be followed up by reinforcement (treats/positive reinforcement) or an alternative. For example, if he was attempting to jump on the couch to get something, "uh-uh" followed by "over here!!" and then treats.

The biggest thing we learned was about reading body language and thresholds. We learned that once our dog is over threshold - that's it. There is no learning in that zone. And we got really good at understanding when he was approaching an "orange" zone, to hopefully avoid the "red" zone - which was the point of no return.

We had to change our routine up a bit, but in about two months, our dog is now able to watch another dog walk by right next to him - as long as I'm managing it! The only times it hasn't worked I have not managed the situation properly (i.e. I let him stare too long at the dog, or didn't read his body langauge when he started to worry about the dog walking towards him too close, and didn't move away).

Whew that's a lot - but I love talking about this topic because our lives have definitely improved so much, and if were weren't fortuante to come across our trainer I don't know what we would have done!!!
 
@ruzou It honestly hurts me so much to see that all my dogs reactivity stems from his horrific anxiety. I just want him to have a happy life but so see him so scared to the point of having snapping be the only form of communication he can muster just…sucks. The fact that I was told by his breeder to hit him in the face and then by a behaviourist to scream at him (don’t worry, despite him being my first dog I didn’t listen) SUCKED. That was the last thing he needed.

He needs to feel safe, and that his attempts at communication are listened to and respected. He’s such a sweetheart (and a diva!) when he’s comfortable, and whilst he certainly had maladaptive behaviours that we’re still working on unlearning, my biggest goal is to give him a happy life.

Raising a dog who had such high anxiety / really struggles to communicate beyond expressing fear has taught me a lot. I’d like to think I’ve made half an improvement on his life as he’s made on mine.
 
@ruzou This is such an important point. Once I really internalized this it improved my relationship with my dog a lot. I was able to move past the guilt, embarrassment & frustration of being on the other end of a leash while he had a meltdown & just feel bad for him/try to help. Once I got over MY big feelings it was a lot easier to help him with his haha
 
@rebekah80 I feel this! I used to get so fustrated with my dog I wouldn’t yell or hurt her but it was so hard for me to come to terms with it. Once I really stepped back and saw all this reactivity was coming from fear and anxiety I felt so ridden with guilt for not understanding her this whole time. You really do have to get over your own feelings first to really understand theirs!
 
@ruzou I used to struggle with this a lot until one day I picked my dog up and his heart was pounding so hard it was concerning. I felt so dumb in that moment. Of course it’s an anxiety attack. I have severe anxiety issues, how did I not recognize it in my dog? Since that day I’ve gotten a lot more patient. And he’s gotten a lot better.
 
@ruzou This perspective helped a lot when I was feeling especially defeated at the height of dealing with my difficult GSD and his reactivity. Whenever he has an outburst, they're referenced as a "big reaction" because implementing that kind of attitude every day really does help, especially with waning patience.
 
@ruzou Yeah, it's hard. I walk to and from work, and there are a lot of dogs that come out of their houses barking (or just off leash) and it's really challenging to watch their owners handle them roughly or scream at them. It makes me want to give my guy an extra hug when I get back.
 
@ruzou Well obviously. We are both having a hard time. 😅
My heart breaks a little every time my pup is scared no matter how it looks like - sometimes shaking/cowering, sometimes aggressively barking.
 
@ruzou When we were really struggling to deal with our pup’s reactivity we had a local trainer out, well reviewed and we did our research before hand, but they immediately produced a choke collar and started in with aversive training.

We stopped the session about 10 minutes in because even we could see, as fair inexperienced dog owners then, that our boy was just getting more and more terrified by what was happening.

He’s still reactive now, but he’s much better behaved, and we’ve worked with non-aversive trainers to help us get there. I’m so happy we stopped that session when we did, or I feel like it would only have made his reactions worse.
 

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