@roman_k If anyone in this situation is irresponsible it's the shelter! They knew his issues and didn't vet potential homes, just wanted to get him placed. I have to say, the trainer at our local Humane Society will take difficult dogs home to see how they do, train them, and work closely with adopters to ensure the placement is the right one. Please don't feel guilty! You can only do what you can do, and you were grossly mislead.
My reactive dog got back to the shelter today. Absolutely heartbroken and angry
- Thread starter roman_k
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strivingfortruth
New member
@strivingfortruth i replied to another comment explaining the advice better. If you still think it's wrong advice after reading, could you please explain why? understanding would help recognising a new, valuable trainer
@roman_k The biggest red flag for me was the diet issue. Low-grain diets can be dangerous unless specifically prescribed by a vet, and no trainer should be telling you what food to use (besides recommendations on types of high-value treats or their favorite kibble - but they should not be giving you health advice).
Their advice about helping to decompress the dog seems solid to me. It perhaps seems like overkill to go on that many walks in the woods, but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.
I will jump in and echo what other folks have said about the shelter. They had no business giving a reactive pit mix to brand new dog owners. This is their fault and it makes me so angry. You are doing the right thing.
Their advice about helping to decompress the dog seems solid to me. It perhaps seems like overkill to go on that many walks in the woods, but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.
I will jump in and echo what other folks have said about the shelter. They had no business giving a reactive pit mix to brand new dog owners. This is their fault and it makes me so angry. You are doing the right thing.
themartinfamily
New member
@roman_k I am going through the same situation, OP.
I made the decision to return my rescue to the shelter as the contract states and initially they emotionally manipulated me. They are more accommodating now in trying to find a new family but the difficulty is I adopted from Romania and the shelter have no fosters available in Germany as they all have other dogs with them at the moment.
So I am stuck in limbo with my sweet guy who I made the heartbreaking decision to return so he can have a home that can meet his needs, but he is still in my apartment and I’ve almost become a foster. I don’t know what to do.
I made the decision to return my rescue to the shelter as the contract states and initially they emotionally manipulated me. They are more accommodating now in trying to find a new family but the difficulty is I adopted from Romania and the shelter have no fosters available in Germany as they all have other dogs with them at the moment.
So I am stuck in limbo with my sweet guy who I made the heartbreaking decision to return so he can have a home that can meet his needs, but he is still in my apartment and I’ve almost become a foster. I don’t know what to do.
@roman_k I wanted to thank you for posting this. We are in the 100% same situation. The shelter never asked about our lifestyle or prepped us for what it’s like to have an anxious dog. This is not our first dog but first shelter dog. We are trying everything. The food, Prozac, $40 anti stress collars, the anti anxiety beds. I’m at least $2,000 in on this dog but in the end, is he right for us? Are we right for him? He might be miserable because he needs another dog? I have no idea. We are giving it ALL we have. He’s an awesome dog when he isn’t scared to death but we travel and have small nieces. He won’t even let us put a collar on him let alone pick him up. I’m telling you even if you did pay the thousands for all the things, it still might not help ease the dog’s anxiety. You did the right thing. It wasn’t a good fit for either of you.
@rengb121 Thank you for replying. Best of luck to you and your doggo. I know how stressful it is to not be able to touch them even when it's needed. With our guy we ended up holding the harness and feeding a treat when he voluntarily put his head in it. Took a while but it was funny to look at him run into the collar when he figured it equals getting a dog biscuit.
@chiyolate Why so aggressive 
He was an amazing companion, with his own limits. Sure he was scared of touch and the outside world, but he'd follow me in every room, greet me when i was home, he was goofy and energetic, smart and a good listener. All qualities I greatly appreciate. Kindly, its up to me to decide wether he was amazing to me or no.
He was an amazing companion, with his own limits. Sure he was scared of touch and the outside world, but he'd follow me in every room, greet me when i was home, he was goofy and energetic, smart and a good listener. All qualities I greatly appreciate. Kindly, its up to me to decide wether he was amazing to me or no.
@roman_k Then why not keep the dog? The shelter is clinging to your saying the dog was amazing, and they’re using that to push you into keeping it. When they go to give the dog to another family, they’ll say the last owner [insert name here] said the dog was amazing but just couldn’t continue taking care of the dog.
With all due respect, your post listed how the dog was not amazing with you, especially the part about the dog growling at you when you’d get close to it. Things may have seemed heavenly while inside your home, but how did the dog act when you had visitors? If the dog will show aggression to you outside, it was only a matter of time before it would show aggression towards you and/or others inside your home.
I grew up training hunting dogs and police dogs. The actions you are describing are not amazing; they’re dangerous warning signs…which is why you want to return it to the shelter. I don’t blame you one bit. You’re right to bring it back!
With all due respect, your post listed how the dog was not amazing with you, especially the part about the dog growling at you when you’d get close to it. Things may have seemed heavenly while inside your home, but how did the dog act when you had visitors? If the dog will show aggression to you outside, it was only a matter of time before it would show aggression towards you and/or others inside your home.
I grew up training hunting dogs and police dogs. The actions you are describing are not amazing; they’re dangerous warning signs…which is why you want to return it to the shelter. I don’t blame you one bit. You’re right to bring it back!
@chiyolate They won't rehome him without rehabilitating him. It's a shelter that does have some issues-aware adoptions and a rehabilitation division.
@roman_k This shelter let you down, blamed you for it, and will most likely do the same to the next person who might not be so lucky when this dog decides to be aggressive again.
If I were you I’d write a review of this place on every online place you can and post the story to their Facebook page. You’re going to see this dog listed again as “failed by the last owners who no longer wanted him after just 2 weeks, timid and just needs someone to work with him to decompress” in no time. Some rescues make a lot of money out of these boomerang dogs coming back to them multiple times until they finally hurt someone. They deserve to be exposed for how they treated you.
If I were you I’d write a review of this place on every online place you can and post the story to their Facebook page. You’re going to see this dog listed again as “failed by the last owners who no longer wanted him after just 2 weeks, timid and just needs someone to work with him to decompress” in no time. Some rescues make a lot of money out of these boomerang dogs coming back to them multiple times until they finally hurt someone. They deserve to be exposed for how they treated you.
@roman_k I foster dogs that are reactive who might need extra help with their triggers before getting adopted by qualified candidates and dogs who can’t be rehomed at all, the shelter you got your dog from failed you.
Every time one of my fosters gets applications I meet the people at their house and give them a detailed breakdown on all the training I’m doing, what the dog will need, etc. I try to give as much detail as possible about the dog because not everyone can handle a reactive dog. Being a first time dog owner is hard (my first dog was a 10 week old husky hybrid) and it’s a learning process, you did what was right for you and the dog. I love bully breeds, 3 of my best fosters were bully mutts but they very much need experienced owners especially if their reactive because of the stereotypes around them, i do hope you and your partner are doing ok after what the shelter told you and that you guys find the perfect dog that fits your lifestyle
Every time one of my fosters gets applications I meet the people at their house and give them a detailed breakdown on all the training I’m doing, what the dog will need, etc. I try to give as much detail as possible about the dog because not everyone can handle a reactive dog. Being a first time dog owner is hard (my first dog was a 10 week old husky hybrid) and it’s a learning process, you did what was right for you and the dog. I love bully breeds, 3 of my best fosters were bully mutts but they very much need experienced owners especially if their reactive because of the stereotypes around them, i do hope you and your partner are doing ok after what the shelter told you and that you guys find the perfect dog that fits your lifestyle
jaredbrown85
New member
@roman_k Wow. We are in a similar situation with our 14mo Mountain Cur. It was as he got older the more reactive he became. He is totally cool with us, his family as well as other dogs. But now at 70 pounds of pure muscle he can pull me off of my feet to get to any human he doesn’t know. He is going to eat somebody. We have a 3 bite law here in PA. That’s always in the back of my mind. We can no longer take him on walks cuz…. he wants to eat somebody. They could be 25 yards away and he’ll drag my ass across the street. We cannot have any visitors unless he already knows them.
His reactivity has lowered his quality of life cuz we can’t do stuff with him outdoors.
As strange as it sounds I’d go to the wall for this dog! Unlike you we are able to love all over him and he eats it up. I couldn’t imagine not being able to be next to my dog cuz of aggression. And I’m so sorry for this terrible trip you’re taking.
His reactivity has lowered his quality of life cuz we can’t do stuff with him outdoors.
As strange as it sounds I’d go to the wall for this dog! Unlike you we are able to love all over him and he eats it up. I couldn’t imagine not being able to be next to my dog cuz of aggression. And I’m so sorry for this terrible trip you’re taking.
@roman_k It may help to consider that all this shelter worker said was way less about you and way more about being burnt out from how hard that job is. Burnout goes for the empathy first. They weren't justified in taking it out on you and I am sorry they made this horrible decision even harder.
You were not the right owner for that special needs dog. You would have been missing so much of your life just trying to keep this dog from landing you in court, much less trying to give him a happy healthy life. It sounds to me like you were incredibly thorough and then made the best choice for all of you. Be kind to yourself and your partner, and don't carry that shelter worker's burden too. You don't deserve it. I am so sorry you had to make that decision but you did it with great compassion and maturity, and you had the wisdom to do it before you were broke and burnt out. Hang onto those qualities moving forward.
You were not the right owner for that special needs dog. You would have been missing so much of your life just trying to keep this dog from landing you in court, much less trying to give him a happy healthy life. It sounds to me like you were incredibly thorough and then made the best choice for all of you. Be kind to yourself and your partner, and don't carry that shelter worker's burden too. You don't deserve it. I am so sorry you had to make that decision but you did it with great compassion and maturity, and you had the wisdom to do it before you were broke and burnt out. Hang onto those qualities moving forward.