@rmbinsb I feel you. I’m like you in that I’m a psycho about my dogs health and push things that concern me. We got a new 4 month old baby a month ago and literally the day after we got him, I noted bumps on his tongue.
I’ve worked with my vet for a couple years and she knows I will go above and beyond so that means she will as well. Basically bumps on a tongue were a small off shoot of a bigger thing, baby was diagnosed with Kidney Disease after so much testing these past weeks.
My ninja passed away a little over a year ago out of nowhere from 24 hours of constant seizures. No clue what took him from me and it kills me but putting him out of his misery was best for him.
I’m undeniably devastated about both dogs. My new baby won’t be with us long but we at least know it’s coming so I am grateful for that. But this isn’t your fault or my fault. Illness happens and it can be out of fucking nowhere despite being to the vet repeatedly.
Just take knowledge that you got to give the baby as much love as you could while you could. Some people wouldn’t have even brought a dog in to the vet period and that alone makes you an amazing dog parent.