godspurpose07
New member
Gonna try to keep this as concise as possible but I have a feeling this is going to get extremely long long, so I'm sorry in advance.
Background on dog - Link is just over 7 months old. His mother was found pregnant in Mexico, and brought into the US to give birth. He was born in the house of the woman that runs the shelter, and spent his first 8 weeks in a wonderful home with his mother, in a huge custom-built wooden play pen with his siblings. Basically, no abuse, fed extremely nice food once weaned, treated extremely well.
Background on us - It's my first dog ever. My wife grew up with Goldens, but was never part of the training process, and her parents used the typical tools of the time such as choke collars and "dominance" training. We are fully on board with R+, and refuse to consider positive punishment or "balanced" training. I've done probably hundreds of hours of research, but clearly adopting a rescue as our first puppy together was a mistake and we are in over our heads. Our parents are absolutely zero help, as they all refuse to get on board with positive reinforcement in spite of the mountain of research I've sent their way on the subject.
Living situation/Caretaking - His living situation is essentially ideal. We live in a house with a spare bedroom that's "his" room. It connects to the walled-in backyard, which is huge, and he has all the time and space he wants to run around and get his energy out. My wife hasn't been employed since Covid hit, so he has 24/7 care, and gets 2-3 walks a day, plus training every day (relaxation protocol, capturing calmness, recall training, etc). He has every chew, toy, and treat you can imagine, and gets plenty of puzzles, mental stimulation, and physical stimulation.
Things started out great. He was calm, and is incredibly smart. Within a couple weeks, he was almost fully potty trained and knew a bunch of cues (Sit, down, touch, shake, here, watch me). We wanted to get him the best start possible, so we got him into puppy preschool at the local Zoom Room at ~12 weeks. He did just fine there. He started puppy+ training there at 16 weeks and that's where the problems started. They barricaded him off from the other puppies because he couldn't focus at his first puppy+ class, then did it again the second class and ignored him the whole time because basically all he did was bark. They recommended private training, but when my wife took him, they were really unhelpful. He barked the entire time, my wife ended up crying, and we got next to no advice. At that point we pulled him out of classes, as they were doing next to nothing for him.From there, his reactivity got worse and worse. He started barking and lunging at cars, freaking out at nothing randomly, barking at the TV, barking/lunging at people, pulling uncontrollably, and losing his recall. His separation anxiety has gotten so bad that he can't be left alone for more than a minute without losing his mind. We went to a wedding and got a sitter for him, and according to the sitter he barked non-stop for 5 hours straight. Any time someone walks away from him or steps on the other side of a fence from him, he absolutely LOSES IT and has scared a bunch of people. At this point I started doing a lot of research about reactivity, and found out about thresholds and trigger stacking and the like. We started actively working on his reactivity - I'd bring boiled chicken on his walks and have him sit or touch when we saw cars and then give him lots of chicken as the cars passed by. He started rapidly improving, to the point that he'd see a car hundreds of feet away, sit, and stare at me like "hey, where's my treat?!?" Unfortunately, he has since regressed and lunges at basically every car again, and reacts to humans from 30+ feet away.
Interestingly, we had a 6 month birthday party for his entire litter and he was quite literally perfect. I'm guessing he recognized his siblings or something, but he reacts to EVERY new dog and EVERY new person - yet for 4 hours while we had the party, he was an absolutely perfect puppy around ~6 other dogs he hadn't seen in 4 months, and about 10 humans that were complete strangers.
Eventually, we found a behaviorist through the Pet Professionals Guild. She obviously knows what she's doing and is extremely good with dogs, as Link loved her almost immediately and always wants to play with her. She told us that he's not aggressive at all, and gave us a protocol for meeting new people that has been working beautifully. Unfortunately, I've been less satisfied with our work on his reactivity. She introduced some awesome new cues, such as "find it" and throwing treats on the ground for him to find, that are better at distracting him than anything we had previously. However, other than these new methods of distraction and telling us to avoid long walks, crowds, or anything that triggers him, I don't think we've been given anything to work on to make his reactivity any better. We have no drills or protocols or training regimens to work on, and he's progressively getting worse. Even super high value stuff like chicken and cheese won't work anymore (even BEFORE he goes over threshold) - we can't get him to come inside from the backyard, his recall is basically zero, and when he goes over threshold it's like we don't even exist. He is also continually getting more and more frustrated, and has now bitten my wife 4 times. Never hard enough to hurt her, but hard enough to bruise her or break the skin a couple times. We are VERY worried that this will escalate, even though every trainer/vet has told us he's not aggressive and showing no signs of being angry.
Our behaviorist recommended we talk to our vet about meds, so we took him in to our vet and this is where I got the most frustrated. She COMPLETELY dismissed our concerns as "aww he's just a puppy, he'll grow out of it, why would you want to medicate him?!" However, later in the appointment, we asked them to clip his nails, and she refused, telling us that she "didn't have a nurse capable of handling him." So which is it?!?! Is he a sweet, normal little puppy who doesn't need medication, or is he a menace so badly behaved that you can't even clip his nails, something that should be extremely simple for a "normal puppy"? She gave us some natural remedy that is expensive and has done absolutely nothing and then sent us on our way. I really believe he needs some type of meds to help him have a slightly higher threshold and come down from triggers more quickly, but our vet seemed almost offended that we would even consider them and told us some ridiculous unrelated story about how her friend's dog got over behavior like this instead.
Sorry for the super, super long post. What are the next steps here? What more can we do? My wife is incredibly overwhelmed, she cries almost every night and hasn't gotten a good night's sleep in months. We can't go out with friends, we can't see our family, we can't even bring him anywhere. We haven't had a life since his reactivity started ~4 months ago. We love him dearly, and don't want to rehome him. This wouldn't be an option anyway, as there's no way anyone is taking a dog with his level of reactivity. But we're at the end of our rope and don't know what to do. I've seen veterinary behaviorists suggested a few times, but the closest one is hours away and appears to cost close to a thousand dollars per visit. I'm sick of both directions, either being told "aww he's just a puppy he'll grow out of it" and dismissing everything we're going through by some, while being told he's a menace by others. He's such a sweet, smart, amazing puppy.
Puppy Tax:
Background on dog - Link is just over 7 months old. His mother was found pregnant in Mexico, and brought into the US to give birth. He was born in the house of the woman that runs the shelter, and spent his first 8 weeks in a wonderful home with his mother, in a huge custom-built wooden play pen with his siblings. Basically, no abuse, fed extremely nice food once weaned, treated extremely well.
Background on us - It's my first dog ever. My wife grew up with Goldens, but was never part of the training process, and her parents used the typical tools of the time such as choke collars and "dominance" training. We are fully on board with R+, and refuse to consider positive punishment or "balanced" training. I've done probably hundreds of hours of research, but clearly adopting a rescue as our first puppy together was a mistake and we are in over our heads. Our parents are absolutely zero help, as they all refuse to get on board with positive reinforcement in spite of the mountain of research I've sent their way on the subject.
Living situation/Caretaking - His living situation is essentially ideal. We live in a house with a spare bedroom that's "his" room. It connects to the walled-in backyard, which is huge, and he has all the time and space he wants to run around and get his energy out. My wife hasn't been employed since Covid hit, so he has 24/7 care, and gets 2-3 walks a day, plus training every day (relaxation protocol, capturing calmness, recall training, etc). He has every chew, toy, and treat you can imagine, and gets plenty of puzzles, mental stimulation, and physical stimulation.
Things started out great. He was calm, and is incredibly smart. Within a couple weeks, he was almost fully potty trained and knew a bunch of cues (Sit, down, touch, shake, here, watch me). We wanted to get him the best start possible, so we got him into puppy preschool at the local Zoom Room at ~12 weeks. He did just fine there. He started puppy+ training there at 16 weeks and that's where the problems started. They barricaded him off from the other puppies because he couldn't focus at his first puppy+ class, then did it again the second class and ignored him the whole time because basically all he did was bark. They recommended private training, but when my wife took him, they were really unhelpful. He barked the entire time, my wife ended up crying, and we got next to no advice. At that point we pulled him out of classes, as they were doing next to nothing for him.From there, his reactivity got worse and worse. He started barking and lunging at cars, freaking out at nothing randomly, barking at the TV, barking/lunging at people, pulling uncontrollably, and losing his recall. His separation anxiety has gotten so bad that he can't be left alone for more than a minute without losing his mind. We went to a wedding and got a sitter for him, and according to the sitter he barked non-stop for 5 hours straight. Any time someone walks away from him or steps on the other side of a fence from him, he absolutely LOSES IT and has scared a bunch of people. At this point I started doing a lot of research about reactivity, and found out about thresholds and trigger stacking and the like. We started actively working on his reactivity - I'd bring boiled chicken on his walks and have him sit or touch when we saw cars and then give him lots of chicken as the cars passed by. He started rapidly improving, to the point that he'd see a car hundreds of feet away, sit, and stare at me like "hey, where's my treat?!?" Unfortunately, he has since regressed and lunges at basically every car again, and reacts to humans from 30+ feet away.
Interestingly, we had a 6 month birthday party for his entire litter and he was quite literally perfect. I'm guessing he recognized his siblings or something, but he reacts to EVERY new dog and EVERY new person - yet for 4 hours while we had the party, he was an absolutely perfect puppy around ~6 other dogs he hadn't seen in 4 months, and about 10 humans that were complete strangers.
Eventually, we found a behaviorist through the Pet Professionals Guild. She obviously knows what she's doing and is extremely good with dogs, as Link loved her almost immediately and always wants to play with her. She told us that he's not aggressive at all, and gave us a protocol for meeting new people that has been working beautifully. Unfortunately, I've been less satisfied with our work on his reactivity. She introduced some awesome new cues, such as "find it" and throwing treats on the ground for him to find, that are better at distracting him than anything we had previously. However, other than these new methods of distraction and telling us to avoid long walks, crowds, or anything that triggers him, I don't think we've been given anything to work on to make his reactivity any better. We have no drills or protocols or training regimens to work on, and he's progressively getting worse. Even super high value stuff like chicken and cheese won't work anymore (even BEFORE he goes over threshold) - we can't get him to come inside from the backyard, his recall is basically zero, and when he goes over threshold it's like we don't even exist. He is also continually getting more and more frustrated, and has now bitten my wife 4 times. Never hard enough to hurt her, but hard enough to bruise her or break the skin a couple times. We are VERY worried that this will escalate, even though every trainer/vet has told us he's not aggressive and showing no signs of being angry.
Our behaviorist recommended we talk to our vet about meds, so we took him in to our vet and this is where I got the most frustrated. She COMPLETELY dismissed our concerns as "aww he's just a puppy, he'll grow out of it, why would you want to medicate him?!" However, later in the appointment, we asked them to clip his nails, and she refused, telling us that she "didn't have a nurse capable of handling him." So which is it?!?! Is he a sweet, normal little puppy who doesn't need medication, or is he a menace so badly behaved that you can't even clip his nails, something that should be extremely simple for a "normal puppy"? She gave us some natural remedy that is expensive and has done absolutely nothing and then sent us on our way. I really believe he needs some type of meds to help him have a slightly higher threshold and come down from triggers more quickly, but our vet seemed almost offended that we would even consider them and told us some ridiculous unrelated story about how her friend's dog got over behavior like this instead.
Sorry for the super, super long post. What are the next steps here? What more can we do? My wife is incredibly overwhelmed, she cries almost every night and hasn't gotten a good night's sleep in months. We can't go out with friends, we can't see our family, we can't even bring him anywhere. We haven't had a life since his reactivity started ~4 months ago. We love him dearly, and don't want to rehome him. This wouldn't be an option anyway, as there's no way anyone is taking a dog with his level of reactivity. But we're at the end of our rope and don't know what to do. I've seen veterinary behaviorists suggested a few times, but the closest one is hours away and appears to cost close to a thousand dollars per visit. I'm sick of both directions, either being told "aww he's just a puppy he'll grow out of it" and dismissing everything we're going through by some, while being told he's a menace by others. He's such a sweet, smart, amazing puppy.
Puppy Tax:
