When I was deciding whether to adopt a puppy or not, everyone told me I was overreacting and should definitely get him. But now I’m not so sure and am worried I made a mistake.
I’m a nurse, I work 12 hours shifts. Between my husband and I’s schedule there are 6 days out of the month where he is alone for 10 hours. On these days I have a dog walker come twice for half an hour for potty breaks, exercise and play. He is never alone for more than 3-3 1/2 hours at a time. Other than these 6 days, someone is home all day.
Today is day 1 of leaving him alone, he loves his crate and right now because of his age he sleeps a lot. But I’m worried for when he gets older. I’m worried I’ve made a mistake. Even though it’s only 6 days I feel it’s so unfair for him. I just love him so much.
Please tell me I’m overreacting and that I’m not a terrible pet parent
@emilysmith Don't worry. 6 days of the month isn't many. 3 1/2 hours will be hard for a young puppy though. If he's having accidents or getting stressed out, I'd get someone to stay with him. (Short spans of alone time are good for puppies though) You could also consider a playpen setup with potty pads and water, and keep the visits too.
A slightly older puppy will likely just sleep those 3 1/2 hours straight and be good with the visits you have planned. It wouldn't be okay for a puppy to live like that daily, but 6 times a month should be just fine.
@markfred We did numerous trial runs while I was home, he has no trouble holding his pee for 3 1/2 hours . Once he’s a bit older we will likely just barricade the kitchen and let him have that room.
@markfred Most of people get their puppies at 2-3 months, by that time you can leave them for 2-3 hours. X months old = X hours to hold his pee = X hours to be alone.
3 hours is not a lot, especially it doesn’t happen every day. It’s not like OP leaves him for half of the day alone. Yet, be watchful for potential separation anxiety and teach him, that no matter what, he won’t be alone.
@emilysmith You are definitely over reacting and NOT a terrible pet parent. I got a dalmatian pup a couple months ago and I work full time and live alone. He sleeps in his crate while im at work and i come home for an hour to let him outside and walk/play. Im sure some would say that its not good for him but when im not at work I dedicate my time to him. We go on 2, 20-30 minute everyday and I spend a lot of time training with him. Even though he is a high energy breed, hes always worn out by bedtime so I don't see an issue with having a dog if you work a lot. Just make sure you make up for it when you get home!
Edit: You are already a great pet parent by having someone come by twice a day when he is home by himself for a long period. He will be just fine!
@emilysmith I posted something similar on another thread another day, but keep in mind, before quarantine/covid, WFH was not that common and people got puppies. People worked 40+ hour a week jobs outside the home and the dogs were fine. For years and years people have worked outside the home, had dogs, and the dogs were fine. Separation anxiety was not something we'd ever heard of in dogs in the 70s, 80s and even into the 2000s. I feel like its become more common in dogs as we become "helicopter parents" to puppies. So many dogs during quarantine had anxiety issues because their people were around TOO MUCH.
You can leave your dog alone. In fact, you should be working towards being able to leave your dog alone, without a babysitter. Dogs need alone time too.
@cowardlylion Yeah my adult dogs basically push us out the door, they like their daytime sleep. Our puppy seems to oscillate between not giving a shit and howling non stop when we leave. Can't quite figure out the difference
@cowardlylion You say separation anxiety wasn't a thing until later on. When my grandparents were in their 30s (they're in their 80s now) they had a girl boxer and thought she was completely fine being left alone all day. They didn't realize until after they ripped up the carpet years later she had been peeing by the front door through fear and anxiety.
Edit: they told me this last year and said their biggest regret was leaving her for so long Monday - Friday.
OP I think you are a great pet owner and having a dog walker twice a day is amazing to break up the time.
@johni I'm glad I'm not the only one who feeds in a window. I'm a college student with crazy hours and so I feed him within a certain hour(9:30-10:30, 12:30-1:30, 5-6)
@jayro I feed in a window. 8-9.30, 13:30-14:30 and 19:30-21:00. I walk at random times, days, periods of time. Her dad is home at irregular times as he’s a trucker. I have M.E. so sometimes I just “can’t” then and there. I didn’t want to build a strict routine for her as I can’t guarantee it and didn’t want to distress her as she gets older. She’s coping supremely well with it. We have habits with those windows like pottying right before and after food so there is familiarity but not stringent structure. I think it will be harder for her to unlearn it than for it to be normal from the beginning.
@johni Yes! I bring my puppy for one longer walk during the day(never the same length of time, but always a minimum of 20 minutes) and feed him that meal outside in different ways. I do the potty before and after. The only thing I still enforce are nap times because he gets CRANKY if he doesn't nap
. Once he’s a bit older we will likely just barricade the kitchen and let him have that room.