Daycare owner implied that I’m mistreating my puppy

[mugen]

Context:

I have a 13 week old, 20 lb GSD/Husky puppy whom I love dearly. Since I know he’s going to be 60 lb or so grown up (half my bodyweight,) I’ve spent literally thousands of dollars and countless hours socializing, training, and taking him around the city since he was 8 weeks old. We do tricks before every meal, crate time, on walks, at unfamiliar places, and do 10 mins of settling each day. We practice impulse control, leash control, eye contact, enrichment, positive reinforcement, grooming stimuli— he lunges on leash sometimes because he’s so excited about getting attention from strangers and sulks when he doesn’t get pet (working on this one with lots of redirecting,) but that’s it. He’s a dream of a puppy. Even our trainers (plural!) have remarked on how bright and motivated he is. Etc.

Today I finally decided he was old enough for proper daycare. Previously he’d only been to puppy playdates 1-3 hrs long. I left him at a 5-star daycare with “personal attention” to be evaluated by the owner, picked him up 7-8 hrs later after checking in at lunch, and the little guy fell asleep the moment he gets home. Amazing.

But 1 hr later, I get a call from the owner asking “if we can talk.” He then proceeds to give me this list:

1. No separation anxiety
2. Started playing right away
3. Wrestler play style
4. Does not respond to any commands nor his own name
5. Shys away when you try to touch/pet him
6. Does not have a collar
7. No gate anxiety/ aggression. No interest in resources
8. Curious but can be distant at times
9. Average energy level

And he gave me a 40 min lecture on training my puppy. He kept saying that I could’t slack on training, that this mix was not good for first time owners, that it was “interesting” and “he’d never seen” a puppy shy away and be distant. He asked what methods I used and lectured me on prong collars, alpha-methods, responsible big dog ownership, physical punishment,… etc.

At the moment I was so shocked that I couldn’t even respond. That’s not my puppy. I would never use any of those methods but I couldn’t even get a word in. And the more I’’m thinking about it now, the more pissed off I am that this guy lectured me for half an hour based off of my puppy’s first-time daycare experience. He does have lots of experience (10 yrs of dog ownership.)

Am I overreacting? Should I switch daycares or will this get better? What are issues I should address in my puppy?

 

[bandarbo]

@mugen I would honestly switch based on his point about being 'concerned' that the pup shies away when you tried to touch and pet him. Some dogs don't like being touched or pet by strangers or anyone. And that's okay. You should probably go to a daycare that respects when you're puppy is in the mood to give affection. If he was having trouble being handled that's another thing.

Also honestly, if you're not going to feel comfortable with the daycare you're going to stress while the pup is there so there's really no point.

 

[tenaea]

@bandarbo Not only that but I worked at daycares, puppies will shy away because you're a new, big, scary person and they're in an unfamiliar environment without mom/dad. Come on.

 

[fanymv]

@bandarbo I agree with this. My hound doesn’t like to be touched by strangers and will jump away from people who try to pet him especially if he can’t sniff them first. He’s just not a people oriented dog (besides me and my bf who can do literally anything to him) and doesn’t seek attention from people or want to be touched by strangers. If he knows you though you will receive lots of kisses and aggressive tail wagging. They are allowed to have preferences on who enters their bubble and if the day care owner doesn’t realize that/can’t accept that then I would look elsewhere.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@fanymv Yep! Dog boundaries are important! OP’s pup probably sensed the dude was a jerk and wanted nothing to do with him.

 

[bonita24]

@imagebeastmarkbeast

Prong collars, alpha-methods, responsible big dog ownership, physical punishment...

...for a shy, 13 week puppy, who was shy of strangers... the first day under care... you don't say.

"Jerk" is the most polite term.

 

[daughtermolly]

@fanymv I don't get how people don't offer the dog the ability to sniff. I usually offer my hand in a closed fist ((in case they get snippy) to sniff. After I have asked the owner if I may.

The puppy is doing normal puppy things. Once he gets used to daycare he won't be over excited and settle down. Personally I think a different daycare is in order. If for no other reason than that guy is very disrespectful. I don't know how you managed to put up with being lectured like a child without going postal. Kudos to you OP for heading more self control than I have.

 

[reluctantasr]

@bandarbo Here here -- my dog is very well socialized and trained. But if he doesn't know you, he'd prefer that you don't touch him. I think most people are that way too. What's so weird about that?

 

[daughtermolly]

@reluctantasr Your point is very valid. I didn't even think about it we as humans don't like strangers touching us, why do we expect dogs to?

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@daughtermolly I feel like a lot of people have unfair expectations of dogs. They are not robots.

My 18 m.o. was recently neutered, he was supposed to get a shot while there and they forgot so we had to take him the next day. They took him in the room alone and he freaked out when the tech tried to give him a shot so she lectured us.

My dog had never had issues with shots before and the last time she took him...she gave him an iv and he woke up groggy with no balls and had to spend the night alone then go home with rules about not playing. I'd have freaked too if I were him. I felt like her expectations were kind of ignorant of his recent trauma.

My dog loves people and but only likes being pet sometimes and mostly in certain ways in certain areas. If people pet him and he isn't interested he just walks away. I don't see any issue with that, he let's the groomer do his nails and he let's us brush him and such.

 

[krist123]

@bandarbo Exactly this. I have a husky mix that does not like strangers touching her. It very much has to be on her terms. (And honestly I like that she's a little sus of strangers.) Its cracks me up when people try to pet her at the dog park and she ninjas away from them - people always look so offended when she's had the audacity to have a boundary.

It'd be a major red flag if someone tried to tell me it's bad she does that. Dogs are allowed to have preferences.

 

[japle]

@krist123 I joke that my pup is a cat. She pounces on toys (less as she ages but still), and she only wants to be pet when you don’t want to pet her. She’ll run up to someone (working on her getting permission first), but when the person wants to pet her, she’ll shy away again. When the person turns around to leave, she’ll run back up. She only wants to be pet by a stranger when the stranger doesn’t want to pet her.

 

[bandarbo]

@krist123 Strangers used to try to give my puppy commands and would be sorta judgemental when he didn't do them, but I was like I want him to sit when I say sit, not when some random does. So whatever.

 

[krist123]

@bandarbo Lol honestly I can get behind that as an attitude, because I also ignore strangers when they try to tell me what to do

 

[momo]

@bandarbo

“he’d never seen” a puppy shy away and be distant.

Like honestly, that statement alone makes me wonder if he's ever met more than one puppy?

 

[rio]

@bandarbo Totally agree. My baby got way more socialisation than that and just as much intense training from a very young age.

At best he is shy. At worst he is reactive particularly towards other dogs.

It’s common in more sensitive working breeds. Multiple (expensive and very reputable) behaviouralists have told me this. Has this trainer like worked with dogs before?

 

[chav3]

@mugen A 13-week old puppy being too nervous to be touched during their first time in a new environment without their owner present is within the spectrum of “normal.” A 13-week old puppy not listening to complete strangers during their first time in a highly stimulating environment is normal. Only after 3 or so weeks of these behaviors continuously happening, and this is very situation dependent, would I consider there to be a potential problem. A 13-week old puppy not exhibiting any signs of separation anxiety, big emotions near a threshold, and no interest in guarding resources is a good thing. Run from this place. If they are criticizing you for your puppy being a normal puppy, they should not be in this line of work.

 

[pnella]

@chav3 Hell, my puppy barely listened to me at 13 weeks. I definitely wouldn't expect her to obey a complete stranger. Maybe the occasional "sit" but not much else. I found that my puppy didn't generalize well in new environments, and wouldn't respond to commands unless we had practiced in that particular place before.

 

[jtwhelch]

@pnella My 15 years old dog to this day gives no fucks when someone besides me and two other people gives him a command and honestly, I far prefer that over a dog that responds to anyone as soon as he sees them

 

[onlym112]

@chav3 All of this. I agree, run from this place.