Buyer’s Remorse…

L

laylamendiola

New member
After several years of thought and consideration, my family (DH and 2 girls 19 & 7) and I made the decision to adopt a puppy. This December we adopted a 12wo female micro-goldendoodle.

I did a lot of research about dog training and even though I shared and consistently modeled the education, my family failed to absorb. This led to a lot of made up commands, frustration when she doesn’t listen and anxiety/confusion w/ the puppy.

At 16 weeks I enrolled her in 3-wk day training hoping that consistent exposure to the correct commands and reward method would help proof training. Unfortunately, the trainer (without my knowledge at that time) put a prong collar on her within 2 days into 15 days of training. I was told that she was being ‘difficult’. But that’s a whole other post…

Any ways, training is over, and once again my family is VERY inconsistent with command’s & expectations. I have become the only one the dog listens to which also means now she is no longer a family dog, but now just MY dog.

This dynamic in the relationships increases anxiety and confusion in my pup, and resentment w/ me because my family really sucks at this, and they (& the pro-trainer) are the problem with her training progress.

Although I love our puppy, I can not do this alone and don’t want to have her in an environment where she can’t trust everyone she lives with. Should I consider Re-homing her? This is always a tough thought b/c ppl rush to judgement & say, “A dog is a lifelong commitment and you should have considered that, blah, blah, blah…” And we absolutely did, even right down to deciding the breed, temperament, size, sex, allergies etc. But here we are. It’s unfair to my pup to have this large of a dynamic of leadership & responsibility in the home.

Is this cause for Re-homing?
 
@laylamendiola I don't think you're needing to rehome unless you really want to. However, I would recommend hiring a different trainer with certifications found here who can come to your home and work with your family. They'll be able to help everybody get on board. "Leadership" doesn't even really matter in dog training and is a myth.

I personally don't think inconsistency is a totally huge deal. My dogs deal with different rules with different people and simply adapts.
 
@eront Yes!!! Go to CCPDT.org and search for behavioral consultant in your area. Please don’t believe other “trainers” other than the individuals who are certified by the particular organizations listed in the above post.

I would have killed that trainer at the 3 wks course if they prong collared my dog w/o my permission.

Even worse, shock collars for that matter.
 
@eront Thanks for reference!
And just for example:
  1. I call dog’s name [Come] and she Comes; husband calls dog’s name, and she completely ignores him. He responds by yelling her name repeatedly, and she ignores until I step in and correct.
  2. The command [NO] 100% interrupts dog’s unwanted behavior; husband and kids constantly say [STOP] dog ignores, and family follows up w/ frustration, and angered tone, or even trying to so-called punish by putting her in her crate.
  3. Family has constantly been told not to pet dog when she jumps on them to prevent jumping. Instead, they pet 50% of the time, then get mad at her when she jumps the other 50% of the time.
My take is even if I got another trainer, you can’t train patience and consistency with animals to human beings (unless I call Cesar Milan).
 
@laylamendiola I mean, this is really a family issue not a dog issue. It sounds like your puppy is displaying totally normal puppy behaviors (fwiw our golden didn’t really show consistent improvement until like 5/6 months). I would think your approach should be an honest discussion with your husband on expectations and how you feel isolated in raising the dog. If that fails, sure rehoming is the best option - ideally your breeder would take the dog back for that process but idk how realistic that is for someone selling micro doodles.
 
@laylamendiola First of all, I want to say, it's fine for your dog to have multiple cues for the same behavior. They will understand. Just, train the cue to mean what the other people want. Come and her name can mean "come". It's not a problem and not confusing.

For #2, I'd actually drop this one entirely and see if you can get people to work on building "leave it" or "place". Escalating tone is a training error, but again, training the same thing with another cue can be done. You can teach "no" and "stop" to mean the same thing.

On #3, that's just going to be for them to figure out. My dog learns to jump up only on the people who want it. If you want you can build on "sit" so your dog sits instead of jumping up for those who don't want it to happen or, even those who don't want it at that time.

That being said, Cesar is an abuser. He's a horrid trainer and he failed his exam so he could do a seminar in Germany. The bar is set very low there as well so his failure was a sign that he actually is pretty awful.

I would get another trainer just so it can be done in a manner that accommodates everyone and uses evidence-backed methods. It doesn't sound like the person you hired was great seeing they used a prong. That's not a sign of a troubled dog, but a bad trainer.
 
@kreke @kreke

Unless you are certified under Tierschutzgesetz §11, you cannot commercially train with anyone’s dog or give any form of training advice in a legal capacity. Whether or not your local Vetamt accepts your certificate or not from your training institution is up to them, therefore yes it’s true that there’s no unified education concept for trainers. But you do need the Erlaubnis nach TierschG §11 to commercially and legally call yourself a trainer and work with dogs in any capacity. There’s no single training institution. IHK and ATN are widely accepted as educational institutions, but not all vetamts accept them. And he failed that.
 
@ashleigh2016 Oh I see thanks! That is the point. Got it. :)
That makes sense. I was just wondering what business he has with a german exam. But of course if he wants to work here he has to get an Elfer. I did not make that connection.
 
@laylamendiola "you can’t train patience and consistency with animals to human beings"

Yes, you can. And you should - because that patience and management of frustration and stress is vital to teach your children. And you husband can learn these things too. That's less of a dog issue and more of a basic human mental health practices issue.

Nothing wrong with making healthy coping skills for stress and frustration a highlight in practice. :)
 
@sallama & to add training with patience & positive reinforcement helps the dog to long term make good decisions by itself. This is important because you don’t always want to be on top of your dog. Perhaps a little retraining here & there to reinforce the good behaviors.
 
@laylamendiola Cesar Milan is a complete idiot and highly disregarded in the dog training community. He has ZERO qualifications, certifications nor standard education in animals behavior (ethology) from any accredited institutions.

He hits, intimidates, overpowers, and uses aversive methods that have been shown to increase behavioral issues in dogs in the long run. In the immediate future (like TV) the dog may do what he wants but if you want long lasting behavioral changes and a positive, healthy relationship with your dog, only positive reinforcement has shown measurable, empirical, favorable results.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

A
Hi breeders, future buyer here. Maybe you can help with my question about “health guarantee”
Replies
7
Views
36
alaydealways
A
Back
Top