Breaking up is hard to do

[madidson857]

Today, I had to break up with a client. I've spoken to this person several times over the past few months about their dog becoming more difficult to groom because of arthritic pain. It's an 11 y/o larger breed. I've mentioned pain medications for arthritis and the owner just simply isn't interested. This started with sensitivity with toes/feet being touched, then next came the entire leg x 4 legs. Then, even trying to lift the tail- I noticed hunching in the back that day as well. This is also when the owner complained that I didn't do good enough. When I again explained the dogs behavior during the grooming process and that it really seemed pain related, the owner had no interest in hearing that. I've groomed the dog 2 times since the "not good enough" groom. I've used a grooming harness (?), to try to keep the dog up while taking weight off of the legs so that I could do "good enough." Today was just so hard. The more I tried to get the dog groomed, the more they struggled,yelped, and snapped. I love this dog. It is the sweetest pup, and we've always worked well together. I'm just posting because I'm sad about this particular breakup. Thanks for reading.

 

[joyfilled]

@madidson857 This was very sad to read. I can tell you really care about the well-being of the dogs you groom. I would hope the owner would care enough about their dog's comfort that they would listen to you. But, sadly, some people are very stubborn and think they know better no matter what. I would hope if my groomer pointed out something to me about my BFF that I would take them seriously. At least you tried.

 

[madidson857]

@joyfilled Thank you, I do love my groom pups. Even the ones that are naughty. I am going to miss this one a lot.

 

[jodys82]

@madidson857 My old newfie lab cross had a hard time standing. I asked his groomer if there was anything we could do to help him be more comfortable. She was so gracious. She let him lie in the wash tub while she worked one side, then got him to turn over for the other. It wasn't his best looking groom, but it is what he needed. The groomer was so kind to help me out. He was on several meds for his arthritis

 

[dukeofwa]

@madidson857 I have had a few of my own standard poodles get too old to groom. They'd get baths and floor blowdried on cotton quilts and towels. Their old thick toe nails were tough and brittle. It's a total act of love to groom an old dog.

 

[thekingzkid]

@dukeofwa I'm experiencing this with my 13 yo female standard. The groomer told me about six months ago that my sweet girl really struggled during her grooming session. She needed numerous breaks due to fatigue and weak arthritic legs. I appreciated her input and am now grooming her myself at home. She doesn't look so great, as I have limited skills and am keeping the grooming to the basics for her sake, but I'm fine with this if it limits the discomfort and effort for my sweet Lucie. And I don't want to be an asshole client for a young lady who is a wonderful groomer. I'm continuing to take my 9 yo standard to her, but will follow her advice if he begins to have trouble with grooming.

 

[djmads]

@madidson857 I'm really sorry. My dog died last year, a lab, with 13 and half years. He had arthritis, spinal hernia, a lot of other problems with the old age. We battle for keep him well/some quality of life with pills the vet recomended. The hard problems started in 2020, so it was 2 years of many times in vet, many meds etc.

I can imagine the body (and mental), pains in this dog. :'(
The owner is simply watching the dog suffer and will suffer more and more.

I hope one day this owner regrets, because regreting is a human thing. And when the regret comes, will be too late...

 

[trendingtimmy]

@madidson857 This is always such a hard convo because the owners are most often in a kind of disbelief/ unwillingness to accept that their dog is aging. It’s sad and it sucks.

 

[michelet]

@trendingtimmy Yep, I walk as well as groom. Had a dog who would love the car ride, get to the park and they can barely move (this dog has never been lazy in her life , if anything she was sprinting until she was 11) nearly 14 she just wasn’t feeling it, but the owners wouldn’t have it. I found it a good tactic to say “look, if she has an episode , such as passing out or having a fit, which she is at high risk of, I could bundle her in the car which is parked half an hour away, another half an hour to the vet , if I’m lucky , what if I’m too late ?” That brought it home for the owners that the dog needed to stay with them .

 

[ecfinn]

@madidson857 If I had someone groom my cat & they were smart enough to notice pain I’d missed? They’d be getting a gift basket & a thank you note whilst I made vet appointments.

You did all you could. I’m sorry you didn’t get the gift basket kind of client instead of someone who lets their pup be in pain without even being worried

 

[mccra76]

@madidson857 You did everything you could to advocate for this dog and unfortunately some owners are like talking to a brick wall. It's disturbing, the amount of people in 2023 who still believe dogs don't feel pain the same way we do (e.g. luxating patella/CCL injury dogs who limp, or dental disease "but they're still eating.)

Honestly, I'm getting to a point where I am experienced enough to be picky and demand a certain calibre of client, and that's a person who takes care of their dog's medical needs. No unmanaged chronic otitis, no unmanaged pain, no once a year clients with a colony of ants in their pelted undercoat. Enough is enough, man. And these people are more likely to accept the value of my work, not contest my prices, and to agree with my judgment calls.

I just watched my 14 year old dog gradually suffer a cruciate tear over several months and it was demoralizing, heart breaking, to see him lose mobility until he was finally approved for a TPLO. I don't understand how these people can watch their animals suffer. Gaba, meloxicam, conservative treatment first line meds are not expensive either!

 

[alexfern12]

@madidson857 I’m going to have to do the same thing soon to my favorite client ever. She is an 8 year old bull mastiff. She is the sweetest girl ever but she is severely overweight, even for her size. She weighs over 200 pounds and is an absolute tank. She has been so sensitive about her legs and feet the past few months, I know they hurt. She has trouble getting in the tub and on/off the table. She is simply not a dog you can fight with or lift. I am heartbroken

 

[houston84]

@madidson857 Sorry

 

[gbbear]

@madidson857 In these kinds of cases, where the owner refuses to believe you, i make sure and either have someone record me, or set up my phone so i can take video of myself working on the dog, and showcasing the reactions. Hard to deny proof. But in this case, i think it's best if you just say you're not comfortable grooming the dog anymore and stress that it's for their safety. You'll have to hold your ground but it's for everyone's benefit. Best of luck and sending warm vibes

 

[markchenoweth1]

@madidson857 How did you break up with them? After the last grooming or over email or ?

 

[madidson857]

@markchenoweth1 I typed up a short letter, and co-worker gave it to them at checkout. I let them know that I felt I could not groom the dog safely anymore and recommended a groomer who specializes in senior pets.

 

[michelet]

@madidson857 Own oxygen mask on first. What you have to remember about grooming, is it’s a team effort. You need sedatives(for the dog not you )the owners should get sedatives , you need them to help you hold the dog, they help you hold the dog, you need them to accept that legs can’t be finished today, they take that with good grace. You tried, the owner shut you down. That owner will have to learn the hard way, when other groomers give them the same feedback. Chin up bubz. All of us have been tearful when a client goes, even if you had ti stick to your guns.