Advice on Senior Heeler Aggression and Roommates

obrolord

New member
Hi guys, I have a 12 year old heeler with lung cancer and stage 2 kidney disease, prognosis is three months.My dog has traveled the whole country with me for 12 years he is my world. We are reaching his end stages of life.All roommate situations have gone fine throughout his life. He's lived with puppies growing up like German shepherds, labs, shitzus, and pit bulls.My newest roommate is someone from my friend group but we aren't super close she moved in and decided she wanted to get a puppy with her boyfriend she's been dating for two weeks. I'm against it because of what Mulder is currently going through they say they'll split time between her and boyfriend's house. They don't, basically boyfriend and puppy move in and boyfriend says he can't have dogs at his place so he needs to be here to help her with the puppy.

I've explained to everyone Mulder is a heeler. He will snap if the puppy won't get out of his face I told them all of his heeler behaviors before moving in. Usually they get along fine but sometimes over toys Mulder will get possessive and then they give the puppy bones and chews multiple times a day and of course Mulder wants those so he does the stare and lip twitching.The roommates have started to yell at him and are always talking to him in aggressive tones. So the other day Mulder nipped at the roommate. I told her you can't always be negative with Mulder you need to create a positive relationship with him and seriously .... stop being mean to my dog I warned you of all of this before you moved into this house.

Now she says she doesn't want them to share the same space. I work 12 hour shifts and I don't want my senior dog living his last months locked in my room all the time. He's always had free roam of anywhere we have lived. She also babysits kids and often brings them to our house so she can still be around her boyfriend while working and my heeler can't be around kids.

My roommates keep saying you're the one with the aggressive dog and are responsible for controlling him and I'm like you can babysit the kids at the house you're supposed to be babysitting at. You moved into the house we were already renting and I warned you all this about my dog. So you're hindering my dogs life by introducing all this to a house that has been his home. I said the dogs need to be together and monitored because that's how they'll become desensitized to one another that keeping them apart is only going to make it worse.

She has also decided to take up all the water bowls (which belong to me) so they can limit how much the puppy drinks so he'll stop peeing everywhere in the house and my dog having stage 2 kidney issues and is on a steroid for the cancer needs to drink as much a possible.

I'm looking for advice on the situation in regards to what I should say to the roommate 1) about he being mean to my dog 2) about relieving the tension between the puppy and my dog should I be pushing for them to spend time together 3) how to relieve tension between me and the roommate cause right now I'm pissed.

Also now the other roommate wants to get a cat. I've said that my dog will try to attack the cat but they're like we all have a right to get a pet. We live in a very small house in Hawaii (that's why I have roommates rent here is extremely high). I have never had this issues and mulder has lived with roommates and other dogs his entire life. They want them separated because they are afraid when mulder stares and lip twitches at the puppy and I've tried to explain that is him communication for the puppy to get out of his face and is a total normal thing for a cattle dog to do. She also says she doesn't want them together anymore because she doesn't want the golden retriever puppy to start acting like Mulder.... I said your golden retriever is going to continue to be a golden he isn't going to become an Australian cattle dog...

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Updates:

The third roommate is getting a cat brought it to the house today which adds way more stress to the situation. I called the landlord and she said ABSOLUTELY NOT this place is no pets. I was the only one at move in with an ESA and I'd had him for 12 years. She said she didn't even tell the owner about the puppy brought in and there is no way we are bringing in three animals.

I told her I was sorry and I'm trying to keep the tension low. I begged my roommate to wait on the cat until Mulder has passed she refuses. I said he will be aggressive toward the cat I've warned you of this like you knew 9 months ago when you first moved in and when we were looking for new roommates we couldn't get roommates with cats. She blew up and said that my dog is an aggressive animal and him having cancer is not her problem. That everyone living in the house has a right to own a pet. I've tried to explain that the house is no pets. We have just pushed our landlord 3 x with 3 ESAs now. She said they can't do anything about that and I said that they can not about ESAs but we are month to month now that our long lease ended and they do have the right to give us a notice and say it's not working out for them. The landlord is on my side and said I'm head of household on this but the roommates say I have no right to say no.

All the sudden they are saying Mulder isn't safe, that they're scared of him, his bark is annoying. He has nipped the heels of some guy visitors and she even went as far to say that if they reported that he could be put down. I do feel bad, no roommates have ever disliked or been mean to my dog and he's had roommates and other dogs with him his entire life. I'm truly sorry if they do find him annoying and aggressive. I don't think they're actually afraid of him or anything but they may be using that to try to get him out of the house.

The landlord has called a meeting for all of us. I am close with the landlord and really respect her and am sorry that these issues are happening. I'm also 30 and my roommates are 22, 25, and 23. I haven't told her anything about the drama with the roommate with the puppy or the children coming over or her boyfriend living here. I'm trying to keep things as peaceful as possible. The roommates are saying none of the animals should share space and they want then on rotated time in the common area like... what the f*ck is going on...This whole thing is completely baffling to me.

Then there is the one sweet and innocent roommate staying totally out of all of it. This is the most beautiful spot I've had in Hawaii and the rent is well below what they should be asking. It really sucks that we might lose this place I have never been asked to leave a living situation or felt like a bad tenant and never felt that my dog was a huge nuisance to the household. Maybe they just see him as this annoying old dog and they've got this puppy and kitten that are much cuter and more cuddly but it sucks to know they find him so annoying.
 
@obrolord I am so incredibly pissed on your behalf. I imagine you’re both protected on a lease, or I’d begin the process to boot them.

If you have a landlord, can you speak to them about her boyfriend being an unofficial (rent free) resident? She also is doing business out of the house and depending on some factors, may qualify the house as a place of business. Home insurance or home owner would have to pay out if a kid got hurt on the property and the parents sue, regardless.

How unbelievably selfish she is for robbing your dog of peace at the end of his life. This person is not your friend. She’s not even a good animal owner, for god’s sake.
 
@trifo Thank you, I think I'm going to contact the landlord just was going to use that as the very last option I guess.

I kept wondering like am I being a brat here or am I missing something because of my bias in the situation and do I have a right to be upset you know.
 
@obrolord You are not being a brat and I’m so sorry your old man is going through extra stress at the end of his life. If it were me, and I couldn’t leave easily, I’d probably leave him in my room and hire someone to come over. And/or tell the landlord that roommate moved her bf in and got a puppy (depending on your lease) and/or refuse to pay rent/utilities while this is happening.
 
@obrolord "Hey, landlord, this is awkward, but my roommates girlfriend is operating an unlicensed daycare out of our apartment. I'm concerned about the potential liability you might incur if there are any issues with the unlicensed daycare, and I'm sure that this is in violation of their lease agreement."
 
@panterapatty FYI if that boyfriend has been there full time for more than 30days in San Francisco. They get tenants rights. So the landlord will aggressively demand the Boyfriend be added to the lease or stop sleeping over full time.

Yeah tell the landlord and they’ll be a catalyst hwre
 
@obrolord I’m sorry but fuck your roommates. My Heelers are my children. You need to do what’s best for you and your boy. These assholes can wait 4 months to get their stupid cat. All that matters is your boy gets to have a good last 3 months. These people are your roommates not your family. He’s your family. Their puppy gets to be around another 10years or what not. I wouldn’t budge on anything. Fuck them. Sometimes in life you have to be selfish.
 
@obrolord Nah, man. They made a bad decision despite being warned of the consequences and they should look for alternative living arrangements instead of attempting to force you and yours to change your lifestyle to suit them. They’re being selfish.

As for the other roommate also wanting a pet, fair, but again: who lived here first?
 
@nli I lived here first and the girl that wants to get the cat. We're the originals and the girl with the puppy has lived her only one month.
 
@obrolord I would be pissed, you told the roommate not to get a dog. She couldn't wait a few months? Talk to the landlord. Moving is probably not an option right? You did live there before the new roommate so I'm surprised you didn't shit her down on the dog. Usually existing renters can say no more pets
 
@sracine I disagreed with it and knew it would cause a lot of tense situations but they kept drilling with we are all equal renters with equal rights to this space. so you can't tell us what to do ultimately it is our decision. now the landlord knows and she is pissed. she said that I'm point of contact and in charge of the house. I wish I'd stood up more for myself in the beginning because now I'm afraid they are going to tell the landlord they don't think mulder is safe or say something like he's vicious and has bitten people which they have threatened to do.
 
@obrolord Why are you invested in desensitizing the dogs to each other if your dog likely only has 3 months left?

Your roommate has demonstrated that she is not going to be an advocate for your dog. Don’t put your dog in a situation where his well-being is jeopardized.

I get it. It sucks. Your roommate is being shitty, but your roommate is obviously not going to change her attitude or get rid of her puppy.

Keep your dog safe. I’d rather exercise my dog and let them be safe in my bedroom than put them in a hazardous situation because I’m insisting that their right to roam the house is more important than their safety.
 
@towardslife It's hard for me to leave him in the bedroom because I know he gets bored and he loves being around everyone and that's mentally stimulating for him. But that is what it is coming down to and you are correct. The third roommate is now getting a cat that she said she doesn't want my dog near.
 
@obrolord That’s terrible. If straight talk hasn’t worked with them it probably won’t suddenly start to work. If there was a way to get them kicked out that’d be good, but of course I’m sure might not be financially feasible or something in your control. Don’t know why these people can’t wait for your dog to pass peaceably before adding all these stressful factors in.
 
@obrolord This is not a dog problem. This is a roommate problem. Who is the primary tenant, you should ask them to leave 1. Primarily for endangering children. 2. For bringing over a boyfriend. Call child services on her for running a baby sitting business illegally. That will end this crap. Speak to the landlord. Worst case scenario will be you leaving. Sorry that you are living with horrible inconsiderate people.
 
@lavender I am the primary tenant. I think I'm just trying to be very careful. I'm trying not to burn bridges and when I'm at work her boyfriend used to help out with my dog like take him out to potty. I introduced one of the girls to my friend group and we all became close. The girl with the puppy was introduced to me from the same mutual friend group and I KNEW I had gut feelings against her when I heard stories of her not paying rent, and breaking things and not fixing them from past roommates (stories she told herself but was always the victim in) and I fought it so hard and all of my friends kept saying she's changed she's a better person. I should have trusted instincts. they never fail.
 
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