YoUr DoGs aRe OnLy NeUroTic BeCauSe YoU aRe

[mauricio512]

Oh thanks dad, my dogs are fixed. I just need to calm down and let them run loose around a party full of dogs, toddlers, and babies. Nothing bad could happen with four 80 lb pit bulls running around as I calmly watch on. He says this all the time, and it pisses me off every time.

Especially since he never cared about his dogs bad behavior or saw that it was even an issue. I remember our good (but poorly trained) dog charged and jumped on a stranger on a hike. And my dad had the audacity to get mad at the guy for yelling at us.

My dogs have never had a negative incident because I respect their boundaries and never put them in a scenario where they have the potential to fail. They're farm dogs that are great at protecting the property and livestock. So on the rare occasion they come with me somewhere, they can have a hard time. He never shits on his wifes daughter for her dog being dog reactive. Because their dog has gotten in enough fights that he recognizes that the dog shouldn't be around dogs. I don't let my dogs get a bad reputation because it stresses them out to be in stressful situations, and I don't want them or anyone to get hurt.

That's not my fault, they're good at what I got them for. They aren't "bad" dogs, and they certainly aren't neurotic because I am, and by just relaxing and letting them run around is how accidents happen.

 

[zotis]

@mauricio512 I got this from a friend once. Then I asked her to watch him. She stopped saying this after that.

 

[wdouglas1611]

@zotis My mom offered to watch my dog because when we visit her, my dog is very well behaved. It is a hard won illusion.

I keep her leashed and Velcro’d to me the entire time.

My mom is nearly retired and not in great health, with 2 cats. My dog is very prey driven. I am never letting anything happen to those cats, and the cats agree, they’re very good at hiding from the dog.

Luckily, my dog is a champ about boarding. I don’t even have to consider putting my mom in that position.

 

[zotis]

@wdouglas1611 The cats agree! I love that. I'm glad you wouldn't put them in that situation. I knew nobody would get hurt when this girl watched my dog. He chased lights which freaked her out, and didn't bring his kennel (she thought they were mean to rescue dogs) and he got anxious about the road and dug a hole in her yard. She told me she thought I was neurotic until she watched him because I had all these routines for him.

 

[wdouglas1611]

@zotis After a while we probably make caring for our own dogs look easier than it is, or we made it a lot easier because of all our routines (chicken v egg?!). Plus dogs love routines.

My dog absolutely loves her crate, she knows when bedtime is, and if I deviate a little she gets impatient (anxious). Everything makes her anxious aside from being home and somewhere near me.

Heck, with our little routines in place, she's a pretty great dog.

 

[mauricio512]

@zotis Lol if i trusted my dad to watch my dogs, this would be a great idea

 

[zotis]

@mauricio512 She had a dog and they got along. She offered so I took her up on it. Within 3 hours she called me STRESSED OUT. It was only for 1 night so I wasn't too worried. She stopped offering to watch him after that.

 

[mauricio512]

@zotis That’s pretty funny. I think one thing that my dad has never experienced is having four young dogs. They have a completely different attitude and issues as a group. Just any one of them is never that hard. As an individual theyre all pretty well behaved and do fine with most people and dogs

But when they’re all together their prey/pack drive goes through the roof, their dog reactivity sky rockets, and their human reactivity is higher.

 

[moonblader]

@mauricio512 I had to stop bringing my anxious pit around my family because my father thinks there’s “nothing wrong with that dog” and will let him loose any chance that he gets despite my instructions.

 

[mauricio512]

@moonblader Normally I don't, but we decided not to board them, so I had to bring them on this trip. So not only are they out of their element, but they've been cooped up a lot more than they're used to. There was no ideal decision and I'm trying to do my best on them after disrupting their life.

 

[misssnowwhite]

@mauricio512 You're a good dog owner.

 

[kiwilittle]

@mauricio512 My neuroses have calmed considerably and my dogs has* made a difference but there is certainly not a 1:1 ratio of neurological fuckery. He’s worse when I’m anxious but my lack of anxiety does not cure him ffs.

 

[mauricio512]

@kiwilittle Exactly. My dogs are still Fuck heads at the end of the day, bless their hearts

 

[kiwilittle]

@mauricio512 They’re definitely called Aussholes for a reason. Tuckerman Jimothy, the sweetest dog who gives the most human-like cuddles in the entire world, but also the reason I am legally required to post “dangerous dog” signs on all street facing sides of my dwelling. I hate my life sometimes but I also wouldn’t want to trade him for ANY other dog.

 

[mauricio512]

@kiwilittle He’s a beautiful ausshole

 

[addygrace]

@mauricio512 I feel the pain

 

[jwyattharp]

@mauricio512 I don’t agree with your father, at all. But I did notice I was having some pent up resentment lately and whenever I walked my girls (twice a day) I would be sort of grumpy. Yesterday I tried changing the tone a little, tried to be more happy and encouraging and they did waaay better than the last few weeks (they were having a lot of setbacks and I was getting frustrated).

While it is not always humans fault their dogs are reactive, our emotions do interfere in their emotions. It might not be the cause (it hardly ever is, unless there is abuse involved, which I hope is not the case for anyone in this sub), but it can help exacerbate it in them. And it’s normal to be fed up and stressed from time to time.

We have to remind ourselves we are doing all we can within our limits, and try not to be so hard on ourselves. Obviously, comments like the ones your father did are totally counterproductive and don’t help, at all. But I would like to remind everyone to take a step back and realize you are doing good too, you are trying just as hard as your dog and you are doing great.

 

[mauricio512]

@jwyattharp My dogs are absolutely the most sensitive creatures on this planet, and im not allowed to so much as get upset at the Internet without them scurrying and hiding.

That said, his definition of neurotic is to keep them out of busy places like the party, and dog parks. I admit that I’m extremely precautious and they have zero access to strangers off leash (plenty of supervised access on leash where i can control the situation)

Everything he shits on is just preventative action, not tonal based. My rule number one with them is to always set them up for success, because there’s no room for failure for big dogs or pit bulls.

 

[jwyattharp]

@mauricio512 Exactly! You seem like a great owner and specially aware of the needs of your dogs breeds, which is super important!

Parties and parks with dogs are so beautiful and fun, but is not for every dog. It’s not even for every sociable dog! You are totally right, we have to set them up for success, and we are the only ones that know what is that success for them because they are ours.

I loved taking one of my girls to the mall and bars, but unfortunately her sister (I adopted her many years later) is not really fit for that and just doesn’t like it, so why push it? The whole point of going to the mall and bars was to have a fun afternoon, if they are not having fun, who am I to force them? Now they are playing more with toys and seem super happy with that, Im also planning on having a “mom & daughter” fun day with each of them alone so they can do the things they want to with me. Each dog is different, we just have to adapt to them

 

[mauricio512]

@jwyattharp I think that this sub is great for accepting that we don’t need to shoehorn our dogs into every situation.

My dogs don’t need to go to breweries, dog park, and parties. They need to protect chickens from coyotes, which requires some level of aggression towards canids.

They’re happy living their extremely spoiled and privileged life. I’m not abusing them by skipping things that stress them out.