@lost_soul How do you see Miles ending up if you keep on going with him, find the ‘right’ trainer, medication etc?
Do you see yourselves letting him be around your potential new baby? Having family over and just hanging out, having dinner, having your other dog around?
Going on what you’ve said, I think that ideal is unrealistic and if that’s your goal and your reason to keep going with this dog to someday have a normal, good dog then you need to reconsider.
Some dogs are not made to be pet dogs.
I have one who does not do well being just a pet. I used to work her but I had twins last year and tried to treat her like a pet dog. Thankfully not people or dog reactive, good with the twins, but will bully my other dog incessantly, pace the house, bark at small noises, run away on walks if she doesn’t have a chance to work at her job.
She’s a hunting and retrieving dog, and I send her to my friend one week every month through the season to go shooting pheasant with her and she comes back a much nicer dog.
Miles looks to be a pit of some kind, so he obviously cannot do the job he was bred for, but if you can find a job he can do (scent work, tracking, maybe agility, something) and work him hard at it for a couple of hours each day and more at weekends he MAY feel better in himself and be a bit easier to manage.
This also may be unpopular, but my very very driven, non pet dog laughed at all my attempts at R+. For two years.
I took her to a very good balanced trainer who told me I’d bought a Maserati before I’d passed my driving test, and I was out of my depth. I appreciate you feel sorry for the skinny sad puppy you adopted, but he is currently making your life worse, and what you’re doing doesn’t appear to be working. At no point in my dog’s training was she frightened or hurt, and now she is a lovely dog provided she gets a chance to work.
My other dog is trained only by me and only R+ (first dog’s daughter, same breed, completely different personality) and is a joy, but would have to trip over a pheasant to find it and looks horrified if I tell the OTHER dog no. Horses for courses.
I really hope you find a solution that allows you to live with Miles and also have family, friends round and have kids eventually, but if you don’t, BE is a less worse choice than giving him back to the shelter.
