Returning puppy to shelter today

[candlemakerpls]

@san422 It sounds like you, the non-dog person was in charge of the whole process and even most of the care while the rest of the family has the extensive dog experience. Its like putting the table cleaner in charge of the menu and kitchen. You had high expectations that the rest of the family was going to be involved but kids will be kids and unfortunately the WFH person tends to get stuck being "well you are home already" mind you with deadlines, meetings, etc its not all that easy to also tend to a puppy. I can't even imagine living in a 2 BR apt with no yard while having a dog (while I know many people do make it work and is possible). As for kids that is a crap shoot. You can have the kid that wants a dog with a passion and will take the brunt of responsibility for it, all the way to "sure i love dogs I want one" , then as in your case goes in their room and plays video games all weekend while you are trying to get a bit of a puppy break. To be frank you did the right thing. I'm glad that you were quick to recognize as early as possible that it wasn't going to work.

 

[larrybjr10]

@san422 I think this is a great decision for your family.

This is why they say to never get a dog for the kids, it should be the parents that want the dog. It's unusual for kids to take care of a dog well. It can be done, my neighbor's daughter does a great job with their dog. But you never know, and it's a lot of work to enforce them doing the work even if that's a high priority for you.

Just as a different perspective, and I'm not judging you or trying to change your mind. But I'm actually more present with my kids since getting a puppy. The constant low level stimulation of having a puppy around really helps my ADHD and I can play with the puppy while hanging out with my kids and it works great. Without the puppy I end up on my phone accidentally.

My husband on the other hand, is completely overwhelmed by having to manage more than 1 living creature at once. So I get it.

 

[san422]

@larrybjr10 Thanks. I'm more like your husband. Mostly I realized that to properly raise and train a puppy, I would have to spend several hours a day focused on the dog. I work full time and am the only driver in the family. My days are extremely long. I gave it a try, but after 43 hours I realized it wouldn't work. How great would it be if people who want pets return them after 43 hours once they realize it won't work? We'd have much happier pets if everyone was honest and realistic. I didn't post this for sympathy, just a story. It's surprising how many people have judged me. I've had neighbors with neglected dogs barking constantly in the house or backyard, for years and years until the dogs die. If people want to lash out, lash out at SHITTY DOG OWNERS, rather than people who had their hearts in the right place but who quickly realized it wouldn't work and who ended the foster care after less than two days.

 

[moonmonkey]

@san422 i mean if you feel like it’s right for your family definitely do that but you really did not give that dog or your family a fair chance. did y’all do any research or prep before bringing a puppy home?

 

[abrother]

@san422 You did a stupid, impulsive decision getting that puppy but you are doing the right thing now. Atleast you know how your family would behave if you're thinking of getting other pets in the future. Best of luck and remember, this is the best for the dog.

 

[jezzelaine]

@abrother I agree with this comment. Very impulsive decision, and just impulsively got a puppy yesterday following the passing of my sweet girl a couple of months ago. But I LOVE dogs and already feel so complete (of course in the honeymoon phase haha) and know what the responsibility is.

We all make mistakes, OP, and I’m sure everyone has made a decision similar to this. At least you chose to foster and can give the dog back. Good luck!

 

[davehtexas]

@san422 You’re making the right choice. It sounds like you cannot commit to a dog right now and don’t truly want a dog. And that’s okay. It’s still a puppy and will find a new home fast! Also 48hrs is pretty short. So the pup hasn’t really bonded with you guys yet, so don’t feel bad about making this choice.

 

[johnnymax]

@san422 I mean. What. You made a huge decision without any real thought, discussion or preparation. And then went back on it without even giving the family a chance to rise to the occasion. Idek what to say.

 

[katstamper]

@san422 It‘s the best decision in this situation. It was a mistake but you know that best.
The puppy‘s behavior won’t take damage after 2 days.

 

[emiliano]

@san422 I love how you gave it two days, the same day you got the puppy you started reading about potty training.
You don't deserve a dog, you're also a huge pushover for trying to please your wife by getting a dog that you don't even want. Shame on you. Next time you try to please your wife by doing something you don't want, just remember that time when you brought home a living animal.

 

[san422]

@emiliano Wow - that's a toxic reply. Lucky the person who undertakes new things and is always excellent at them and succeeds 100%. Sadly, I'm not that person. I tried a new thing, QUICKLY realized it wasn't going to work, and ended the foster care 43 hours afterwards. As for the dog. he got to spend a full Sunday with a family rather than stuck in a concrete cage all weekend. In short, STFU

 

[lanman87]

@emiliano Geez, give the guy a break - yes, not the best decision, but the puppy will be okay. He wasn’t looking for a bashing, just some understanding about the mistake he made (and yes, he knows he made a mistake).

 

[steel]

@lanman87 Yeah, seriously. How did the wife, a life-long dog lover, not know anything about raising a dog?

 

[patchrex]

@lanman87 But he should never own a dog!

 

[lanman87]

@patchrex I agree, and I’m sure he agrees. Sad to put the puppy though that, but she will be much better off with a family who wants her and can handle her.

 

[calebtheclown]

@san422 I’ve grown up around dogs, had dogs with exes and have wanted my own for ages. I went to the shelter about a month ago expecting to adopt an older dog and went home with a 12 week old puppy. I have no experience with puppies and didn’t have anything but a crate and the small bag of dog food from the shelter.

Despite loving her immediately, the first week was very stressful, and I panicked often and wondered if I was up for this 24/7. The whining, barking, accidents, worry, chewing on cords, reading up on training, and having to go to work through it all etc. was overwhelming and I wondered if I had really thought this through.

I’ve had her for 6 weeks and she’s now nearly 15 weeks old, and although my life still revolves around her, we’re now in a rhythm and the effort and little moments at the beginning are beginning to pay off in big ways. She’s bonded to me, she knows many commands and is eager to please and behaviors such as nipping and peeing in the house are diminishing. I also did the work to crate train her and bought a play pen for the living room when I couldn’t watch her carefully. Also…teething rings for puppies, licking mats and puzzles have been a life saver for mental stimulation and giving her an outlet for her seemingly infinite puppy energy.

If you’re not up for it, no worries in returning her to the shelter. She will be okay especially after only a few days. But time and consistency are your friends here, and I already know being with my pup from the beginning is going to form a special bond between us that I haven’t had with any other pet, and it’s really cool to see things clicking for her and knowing I’m here to show her the world and keep her safe.

 

[dontajohnson]

@san422 My parents did that several times when I was a kid—impulsively brought home an animal without properly researching their care, rapidly realized it was more hassle than they wanted, got rid of it a few days/weeks later. I was one of those kids who was infatuated with animals from a young age, so it was pretty crushing to me each time, but the rest of my siblings don’t seem to have been very fazed, so your kids will probably be just fine. I ended up getting my own dog at 16 and was 100% responsible for him, including financially, from day one…but I was the outlier among people I knew who got dogs in their teens. Mostly those dogs ended up being the parents’ responsibility.

I think you’re making a smart choice to return the pup. Sounds like your family was not prepared to handle puppy challenges (no shame, I also don’t like the puppy stage) and the dog will be easiest for the shelter to find another home for while it’s still small and cute.

 

[bulldog34667]

@san422 Perhaps if the kids want to spend time with dogs they could volunteer with a shelter or rescue.

 

[phil35]

@san422 I think you did the right thing, and for the puppy, it was better to return it quickly before it got attached to you.