Our GSD has started growling at my wife and this upsets her

[mercedesrub40]

So I’m having issues with our GSD, he’s very docile and well mannered, however lately he has started growling at my wife off and on again when she pets him. The thing is that he’s her dog. When we were still dating last February my friend offered us one of his puppies. This really excited my girlfriend ( now wife) who wanted us to get a new dog since the two huskies I owned before meeting her didn’t feel like her dogs to her. When he was a puppy he stayed with her most off the time when I was working so we figured he was imprinted on her. He was always laying with her in the bed when I wasn’t around and the times she took him to class with her he would be very defensive of her and wouldn’t let anyone approach her even at 4 months old. Fast forward to this January I left home for a few weeks for military training and we would FaceTime. She would tell me he wouldn’t allow her to pet him even while he was on the bed and she had to kick him off a few times. I came home a few days ago and tonight she tried to stroke his neck and started growling at her right in front of me, I immediately reprimanded him for it and my wife started crying. I tried to pet him myself a few minutes afterwards to test if he was just in a bad mood or something and he didn’t growl at me. It really worries me because he’s been aggressive with my wife and I have no idea why. He hasn’t shown his teeth or attempted to bite her but I’m concerned if he does and if we may have to rehome him, which is something I’d rather avoid. Can anyone give me insight on what may have caused this and why? I’d like to put a stop to this behavior right away

 

[lovelydove]

@mercedesrub40 I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I would definitely discuss with his vet and try to get a referral to a veterinary behaviorist (not always necessary to have a referral but usually lessens wait time).

I know it can be a gut reaction, but never ever reprimand for growling. I know it might not seem like it, but you want your dog to growl— a growl is a warning, a “hey, I don’t like that, please stop”. Growls prevent bites. Dogs that are scolded for growling won’t stop being aggressive— they’ll just stop growling and go straight to biting, and if that happens, there’s usually no recourse but PTS because you can’t recondition a dog who doesn’t show warning signs.

 

[mercedesrub40]

@lovelydove Hmm never thought about that, it really was a gut reaction, I figured if I did that he would know not be aggressive at my wife or growl at her.

 

[bunny136]

@mercedesrub40 I don't know if I'd believe that personally. One of my shepherds growls at my other shepherd every time she's getting pet and he comes over.

She's just a jealous girl, doesn't mean that behavior is acceptable. She's just super emotional and vocal.

Just another perspective.

 

[lovelydove]

@bunny136 I respect you sharing another viewpoint, but I do think it’s very dangerous to imply that scolding growling is ever a good method, especially in a powerful breed subreddit. Growling in play/being vocal is different than the type of growling OP is describing, which is very much a precursor to a bite. Personally, though, I wouldn’t scold ANY growling— play or otherwise. I have seen some truly devastating situations where dogs who could’ve been rehabilitated were ultimately PTS bc they were conditioned not to growl anymore and therefore felt they had to go straight to biting. Like “okay, I get in trouble when I warn? You scold me? Warning is bad? I won’t warn anymore”. Dogs aren’t going to connect the scold after a growl with the underlying aggression, they’ll just connect it to the growling, and aggression as an emotion isn’t something you can train out, anyway; actions you train out, not emotions, and when you’re looking at actions that come from aggression, you’ve got growling, snapping, biting (single), biting (series/attack). If you scold after the action of growling, they learn not to growl, and they’ll escalate up the ladder of aggressive actions when feeling uncomfortable/threatened. Also, I think dogs should always have the stability/reassurance of knowing that they can communicate with us when something is making them uneasy. That builds mutual respect and trust. Obviously it gets muddled when you consider dogs who are inappropriately bothered and warning over things we wouldn’t want them to, but that’s where behavior modification and conditioning comes in.

 

[sonrisesoldier]

@lovelydove Interesting point, thanks for bringing it up.

 

[looni]

@mercedesrub40 Does she walk the dog or do obedience work with him? If she doesn’t she should start. And when I say walk I mean at heel with good stops and starts at her command. Try place training, leave it, door entry way releases as a part of stay commands. Maybe do some behaviors where the dog is near food and can’t eat until verbally released to do so. There are plenty of great guides on YouTube if you don’t know what this looks like or specifically how to train it. These are basic skills and easy to teach a GSD. Basically the idea is that if he sees her as a leader he will be less inclined to misbehave. Even if he does act badly you can use a “place” command to send him elsewhere. You can say place or bed and then he’d have to go to his dog bed. Engage his mind by creating healthy boundaries and discipline. It can be a lot of fun. You can even mix it up by getting a basic agility set from Amazon or something. GSDs pick up the slalom and jumping the hurdle pretty quickly in my experience. That all said this is advice with almost no context to your situation from a person you don’t know. It’s just what has helped me in the past with dogs with troubled backgrounds.

I would also swing by the vet to be sure it wasn’t as simple as him guarding an injury. He could be hurt or sick and he’s trying to tell you about it.

 

[mercedesrub40]

@looni No she doesn’t walk him, I’ll take him on runs when I can and alternate between him and the huskies on certain days. She has done obedience training with him and we started when he was a very small puppy such as sitting before we let him eat, but nothing too advanced. I’ll try to have her walk him if that may make her seem as a leader. I didn’t think he had an injury because he didn’t react at all to me when i petted him in the exact same spot she did. Part of me thinks he grew really anxious since we moved recently back in November and I left for most of January for training. I noticed he’s been herding me and following me everywhere I go since we moved.

 

[looni]

@mercedesrub40 GSDs often bond really strong to one person. Your dog missed you. They still love the rest of the family but not as completely as their person. My female GSD in particular will just hang out either leaning on my leg or stand in between my legs while I’m standing and having a conversation either on the street or in my house talking to family. She’s keeping me safe and letting me do the same for her. Your guy sounds like he just needs a bit of bonding/leadership time with your wife.

 

[mercedesrub40]

@looni Thank you. That makes a lot of sense, before we moved in November my wife would just do artwork for her classes or commissions in our living room at the old house. Here she has a studio space and keeps a gate up, mostly because the huskies like to rummage through her things, so if your explanation is the reason why that would be the most logical given the circumstances. I didn’t think much of it since he was glued to her when he was younger. I’ll try to get him to stick with her when she’s working in her studio and have her to be more active with him.

 

[zander12]

@mercedesrub40 Your wife doesn’t walk her f*cking dog? You’re trolling right? And you were gone for months? I pray to god this is a joke

 

[mercedesrub40]

@zander12 Wow your reading comprehension is that of a 2nd grader. I stated I was gone for a few weeks, not months. I said I was gone for MOST of January

 

[zander12]

@mercedesrub40 Kewl bro. My comment still stands. Walk your fucking dog, every single day. The fact it’s “her” dog and she doesn’t even walk him speaks volumes and is all I needed to hear. Fucking irresponsible.

 

[lazilyelegnatcupcake]

@zander12 Same. No wonder the poor guy missed OP.

 

[lazilyelegnatcupcake]

@mercedesrub40 So she wanted the dog yet you're the one who exercises him and does things with him?

You're his leader, not her.

 

[destinite]

@mercedesrub40 Neve prohibit the dog from growling.This is the last form of warning against approaching strangers.The dog will not warn. I might growl because something hurts him

 

[whwvekwk]

@mercedesrub40 Def hit up the vet. He could have an ear infection or bad tooth or something that causes pain and being petted is just too much. If he’s physically okay, this is about the age you start to notice them developing fear reactivity if it’s gonna happen.

As to why he signals to her to stop and not you, approaching from the point of reactivity.. there could be a lot of subtle cues you’re unaware of. It can take a lot of time to figure out exactly what the trigger is. Like a lot.

In the meantime until you get an answer to the why, I would advise (as someone who learned a reactive male) her to just stop trying to touch him. Love him, for now, from afar. Lots of verbal praise, gentle talking/singing to him when moving around, going over his basic commands and tossing a treat to him.

Also, avoid being on the bed at the same time. If he’s lying in a way that makes her have to step over top of him or very close to him (like maneuvering past in a small hallway or doorway), lure him out with a treat first. Avoiding unnecessary close contact or possible-touch with a reactive dog is best practice for both parties. If he thinks there’s a chance he could be touched, his nerves will be high, and high nerves for a reactive dog is going to end poorly.

Some questions… does he have a crate? Where does he sleep when he wants a hard nap or turning in at night? Does he generally like to be near your wife like in the same room or just around the corner, or is he off on the other side of the house consistently?

 

[mercedesrub40]

@whwvekwk He herds me mostly, the dogs are free to roam around the house but I’ve noticed he’ll follow me everywhere since we moved this past November and will try to get me to come outside with him when he needs to potty, my wife has a studio space she operates in when she’s doing artwork for her schooling or commissions and has a gate to keep them out. And yes he does have a crate. As for sleeping if he’s not on the bed with us (which is the foot of the bed or on my side when I’m not home, our bed is centered directly in the middle with plenty of room to maneuver) he’ll be lying in the bedroom somewhere in one of the dog beds or blankets we have arranged. I tried petting him the exact same way she did in the same area and he didn’t react to me at all, which makes me think it’s some sort of behavior issue and not illness.

 

[whwvekwk]

@mercedesrub40 With that context and my limited amateur experience, it does sound behavioral. And that you’re his true love, and your wife is the spare human lol. Sometimes that happens even if she was the one raising him and doing the most.

It’s good that he has his crate; reactive dogs or dogs with any kind of anxiety need a secure, private bunker to shelter in where they know they’re safe. Also good that he has a lot of space to roam and get his free time away if he chooses.

You said you had a friend that gave you the pups, do you happen to know what the parents are like? Or how any of the rest of his litter have turned out? When it comes to behavioral issues like this it’s majority genetics and not anything you have done/haven’t done to him or with him.

 

[mercedesrub40]

@whwvekwk I’m not entirely sure the status of those other pups, my friend gave our GSD puppy to us before we moved last February when we still lived in my hometown, I had received orders this past September and we moved to the other side of the state(about 600 miles)
I still talk to him every now and then and I have asked but he hasn’t really kept up with the owners since they were from different areas of the state as well so I can’t speak how those puppies turned out. As for their parents I can say that his GSDs were pretty reactive and didn’t like to be around other people and kept to themselves except my friend and his family(i had been to his house a few times for cook outs and parties when I saw them). Didn’t think the genetics would play too much of a part since I have another friend with an all black GSD and she’s super friendly and acts a lot more excited to people than ours for example, I thought the environment would be more key for that sort of thing.