need assurance-13 month old going to chill out eventually?!?

[larsonmcl]

Hi Everyone,

Like the title says...I have a 13-month-old goldendoodle who has NEVER been chill since the day I picked her up at 10 weeks old. We've never found her off button. Been through lots of vet appointments, trainers (private and group), daily scheduled training, physical exercise, mental exercises, etc. etc. etc. I know we're in peak adolescence but I also worry that...she's just crazy?!? We've at least been able to sort of learn how to navigate the crazy now, but I'm wondering if anyone else who had a puppy like this ever had them grow into a dog who could chill???

She's never slept anywhere outside of her crate...literally just cannot fall asleep when anything is going on. She obviously has never been left alone without being crated...and it makes me sad to think she might never be able to to! She cannot be trusted out of sight and I am telling you we have tried e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. to work on this. She is so smart and so willing to please, so the trainer really thinks she'll be able to eventually calm herself but I just cannot envision it. Someone please tell me it happened with their pup!!!

Like someone else said on here recently, I am SO ready for a companion and not a full time job!

 

[beutifultogod]

@larsonmcl I have a Golden that was like this. If people are around he needed to be up and active and can't settle.

What I did is I tethered him to me in the house. Anywhere I went he had to follow. And sure at the start he whined and barked and pulled on the leash but eventually he got tired and fell asleep next to me. Over a couple weeks he learned to be calm while I was around.

Now whenever I go sit at the computer he will lay down behind me and like instantly fall asleep. He's there right now. But the funny thing is he still can't calm when my wife or kids are around so at 4pm when the kids get home from school he's crazy again but until then he just lays down all day.

 

[coelohim]

@beutifultogod J

 

[larsonmcl]

@beutifultogod oooh we used to use the tether leash for some training earlier on, but this seems promising!

 

[rolltider39]

@larsonmcl We did this with our golden, and then sometimes we would just go to parks or public places and sit on a bench. Just sit. We didn’t let anyone pet her while she was acting crazy. Eventually, she learned to sit and then lay down while kids were running around and people were doing things because she was stuck with us and couldn’t go anywhere.

 

[larsonmcl]

@rolltider39 I love this idea, especially because I try to use my nephew as my "kid trainer" but they just become little terrors together! Which I think that just reinforces kids = fun chaos for her!

 

[rolltider39]

@larsonmcl Yep! Our golden LOVES people - especially kids. When we would go out we wouldn’t let anyone pet her unless she was being calm. When we would get home from somewhere and she was jumpy because she was excited to see us, we would ignore her until she chilled out. Keeping her leash on, inside and outside, until she earned more freedom was a game changer for us. Now she just turned 2 and we have been working on walking on trails with no leash, so it can get better! Dogs respond to positive reinforcement, so if they are acting crazy and are getting a lot of responsiveness and “oh look how cute the puppy is!” then that can be interpreted as positive feedback.

 

[dykema17]

@beutifultogod that's such a great idea!

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@beutifultogod Mine just bites and pulls at the leash whenever I try this. Does yours do that too? And if so, any tricks to get him to stop?

 

[beutifultogod]

@imagebeastmarkbeast He wasn't too bad for biting and pulling but I've heard other people have put bitter spray on their leash and it has helped.

 

[yoan]

@beutifultogod How old is he now?

 

[beutifultogod]

@yoan 15 months.

 

[eront]

@larsonmcl What have you done to build on calm behavior exactly?

 

[larsonmcl]

@eront it's been all over the map since we've had her but lately focusing on "capturing the calm" and just praising/rewarding every time she's calm, giving her lots of fun chews/toys, lots of place/bed work, relaxation protocols: https://journeydogtraining.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/ProtocolforRelaxation.pdf, any tips you have please let me know!!!

 

[eront]

@larsonmcl What have you done to avoid overly stimulating situations?

How's her sleep?

What mental exercise, physical exercise, and training does she get each day?

Unfortunately, goldendoodles are a mix of two working breeds. They are not calm dogs, especially not as adolescent dogs.

 

[larsonmcl]

@eront I don't think our home is overly stimulating...no kids, no other pets. So it's just her. She sleeps well in her crate through the night. She'll get an enforced crate nap during the day usually for about 1-2 hours. She will not sleep more and barks like crazy if we try. So about 7 hours of sleep per day/night (the vet said she's not concerned about this). She goes to daycare once a week, sometimes twice if it's a particularly crazy week.

We do two longer walks per day and one of those includes a dog park trip. She also has access to our backyard. We have a flirt pole for gross days to get some energy out inside. We usually do training afterwake up for about 20-30 minutes with her morning food. Then training at some point in the middle of the day, and then we end with the relaxation protocols.

I give her bully sticks, yogurt kongs, himalayan chews, rotate her toys, etc. but nothing like that really seems to stick. She's not super food or toy motivated. She really just likes to be getting into things, destroying things, and/or annoying us. Sometimes I'll work on that drive and play a hide and seek game either with me or with a treat to do nosework or I'll keep her in a pen just to get some time to chill. She does nottt like the pen! Sometimes I'll give her a cardboard box to destroy because she absolutely loves that. I've given her those layered toys that are meant to have the outer layer torn off but I swear she only likes it when it's an object that's not meant for a dog. She does like puzzles but that lasts for about 10 min tops so sometimes I'll just load a bunch of different ones up in a row for her and that'll take some time.

 

[eront]

@larsonmcl Well, the thing with overstimulation is, it's dog-specific. If your dog is overstimulated, then there are triggers that may need to be avoided.

Honestly, based on this, you may actually be doing too much, which is leading to arousal. What happens if you skip daycare or the dog park? Oftentimes, these types of situations end up reinforcing arousal, which counteracts any attempt to teach regulation.

 

[etgohome]

@eront This was my dog’s problem! I’m still ridiculously angry at all the people who said that I just needed to exercise my dog more in order for him to be calm and relaxed.

 

[dykema17]

@larsonmcl I dont have advice other than that there are a couple great ideas in here you seem like the ideal family for a dog, hopefully it gets easier with time and trying new things!

 

[larsonmcl]

@eront and I just want to say that I definitely knew going in that she likely would not be a "calm" dog. I was not that misguided in my thinking! I just am hoping that some day we can have SOME downtime during the day. Surely she can't be all energy all the time for her whole life! Right?! Is that delusional?