@taikamiya720 Honestly? I get the feeling it's what OP is doing that is what's causing this dog to (eventually) lunge and snap etc. It's pretty obvious, to me at least, OP is not respecting this dog's boundaries and personal space. Not all dogs have a character to be cuddled with. This dog likes to get affection from its own people and that should be ok. It's a shar pei, that's a breed trait. I do think the owners have the responsibility to be clear about this to OP though because this is becoming a dangerous situation. Especially since this is a rescue. But for example, I have a dog near to me that has a bit of a nervous character, and even though I have known this dog for a couple of years and he often plays with my own dog, I'm still not gonna put my face right in his face. It's not a thing of "he has to be well behaved!". If you know a dog gets anxious from something, you see them wanting to get out of a situation, why put them in it in the first place? OP wants affection from this dog but that is not gonna happen, at least not by force. This is how you get bit in the face by a scared rescue who has been giving many warnings.
My landlord’s dog doesn’t seem to like me and it’s getting worse
- Thread starter mommy1234
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georgeduke
New member
@cundy15 I've only ever had "rescue" dogs (we used to call them "pound puppies"). Every dog, with the exception of the one I have now, came to me at age 9 months or older.
We've had several Heelers and Heeler mixes. My one housemate, even though we knew our Red heeler liked him a lot, kept putting his face down to this dog. We said to him, "You can tell she doesn't like that. If you don't stop doing it, she's going to bite you."
Sure enough, one day she nipped his face. Nothing terrible; barely drew blood. A lot of times it's the people who need to be trained.
I used to have a tiny tiny dog. 4.5 lbs. Irresistable to everyone. Kids would come toddling up to him, with the parents trailing behind and smiling and smiling. When I could see the parents were clueless, I would pick up my dog and proceed to instruct the child on how to approach a strange dog. One thing I ALWAYS told them was, "Even if the owner says it's 'Okay,' DON'T EVER put your face close to a strange dog's face."
We've had several Heelers and Heeler mixes. My one housemate, even though we knew our Red heeler liked him a lot, kept putting his face down to this dog. We said to him, "You can tell she doesn't like that. If you don't stop doing it, she's going to bite you."
Sure enough, one day she nipped his face. Nothing terrible; barely drew blood. A lot of times it's the people who need to be trained.
I used to have a tiny tiny dog. 4.5 lbs. Irresistable to everyone. Kids would come toddling up to him, with the parents trailing behind and smiling and smiling. When I could see the parents were clueless, I would pick up my dog and proceed to instruct the child on how to approach a strange dog. One thing I ALWAYS told them was, "Even if the owner says it's 'Okay,' DON'T EVER put your face close to a strange dog's face."
@mommy1234 Couple things:
How did your face get too close to him?
I would say if you try to touch and he’s growling, that’s too much for him and you shouldn’t assume he wants touch or pets from you.
I know you say you’re trying to give space but it sounds like you may not be doing it consistently.
For providing treats, have you tried doing the Treat or Retreat game with him? Basically you throw treats over his head and away from you, so he knows you provide good things without being forced to get closer to you/interact.
All that being said, if you feel like it’s a dangerous situation (and with attempted bites there is at least some level of danger), you should talk to your landlords about the issue and see what ways you guys can manage to coexist or what training/management they can put in place.
How did your face get too close to him?
I would say if you try to touch and he’s growling, that’s too much for him and you shouldn’t assume he wants touch or pets from you.
I know you say you’re trying to give space but it sounds like you may not be doing it consistently.
For providing treats, have you tried doing the Treat or Retreat game with him? Basically you throw treats over his head and away from you, so he knows you provide good things without being forced to get closer to you/interact.
All that being said, if you feel like it’s a dangerous situation (and with attempted bites there is at least some level of danger), you should talk to your landlords about the issue and see what ways you guys can manage to coexist or what training/management they can put in place.
@obadimu Thanks for your reply.
He jumped up onto the sofa next to me and I moved my face closer as a ‘hello’ without thinking, I know I shouldn’t have done it.
I understand that he probably doesn’t always want pets from me and that his growling is a way of communicating that. I’m just so worried that if I actively avoid touching him/interacting with him then it will put even more space between us and we’ll never get used to each other.
No I’ve not tried that with the treats, maybe I can give it a go. Thanks for the advice
He jumped up onto the sofa next to me and I moved my face closer as a ‘hello’ without thinking, I know I shouldn’t have done it.
I understand that he probably doesn’t always want pets from me and that his growling is a way of communicating that. I’m just so worried that if I actively avoid touching him/interacting with him then it will put even more space between us and we’ll never get used to each other.
No I’ve not tried that with the treats, maybe I can give it a go. Thanks for the advice
chrissiems
New member
@mommy1234 In short, here is how you get on an abused dogs good graces : completely ignore. No touch, not talk, no eye contact. Once they figure out you don’t really care about them , they will be cool with you and that’s really all you need. Maybe every time you show up, toss a treat on the floor, but still ignore. If you consistently show up this way, it will change over time , it may take months. But you will be good for years !
@chrissiems Thank you for this
@mommy1234 That is a hard situation to be in! Have the owners sought any training/behaviour advice? Do they understand and accept his behaviour towards you as being a problem?
First off, as it's getting worse I wouldn't touch him for now. The aim right now is not to have cuddles, it is for both of you to be safe. Even if it seems like he is seeking it out, until you are incident free for a good while I would not be giving physical contact.
I would also not walk him without the owner. I know it is good for relationship building but in an emergency you may not be able to get control without putting yourself at risk. I'd stick to parallel walks for now. Out of interest, when you walk him is he happy for you to put on his collar/harness and lead?
When do you give him treats? I.e do you call him to come and get one? Do you stop everything and wait with the treat?
Try sitting on the sofa or going about your life and throw the occasional bit on the floor away from you. Don't engage or speak, just toss. My reasoning behind this and the questions above is that he might just be coming for the food and if your body language is the same every time it might not help when you're walking around/doing everyday things. It's important that you change up when they will be treated as it gets them thinking.
First off, as it's getting worse I wouldn't touch him for now. The aim right now is not to have cuddles, it is for both of you to be safe. Even if it seems like he is seeking it out, until you are incident free for a good while I would not be giving physical contact.
I would also not walk him without the owner. I know it is good for relationship building but in an emergency you may not be able to get control without putting yourself at risk. I'd stick to parallel walks for now. Out of interest, when you walk him is he happy for you to put on his collar/harness and lead?
When do you give him treats? I.e do you call him to come and get one? Do you stop everything and wait with the treat?
Try sitting on the sofa or going about your life and throw the occasional bit on the floor away from you. Don't engage or speak, just toss. My reasoning behind this and the questions above is that he might just be coming for the food and if your body language is the same every time it might not help when you're walking around/doing everyday things. It's important that you change up when they will be treated as it gets them thinking.
@ovixs90 Thanks for the helpful reply!
I think they acknowledge that it’s not right but I kind of make light of it and laugh it off because I don’t want them to be put in an uncomfortable position where they may have to choose between us (talk about setting yourself on fire to keep someone else warm
)
He’s absolutely fine with me on walks, funnily enough. It’s really the only time that he is. I will usually give him a treat after a walk.
I think you make a good point going no contact for a while. It’s weird because he will actively come into my room to sniff around so it’s not like he can’t stand being around me, but even when he does stuff like this I think I’ll just keep my distance.
Good advice on the treat thing, I’ll give it a go
I think they acknowledge that it’s not right but I kind of make light of it and laugh it off because I don’t want them to be put in an uncomfortable position where they may have to choose between us (talk about setting yourself on fire to keep someone else warm
)He’s absolutely fine with me on walks, funnily enough. It’s really the only time that he is. I will usually give him a treat after a walk.
I think you make a good point going no contact for a while. It’s weird because he will actively come into my room to sniff around so it’s not like he can’t stand being around me, but even when he does stuff like this I think I’ll just keep my distance.
Good advice on the treat thing, I’ll give it a go
@mommy1234 Also in terms of ignoring also avoid eye contact as dogs and many animals consider it more of a threat/challenge.
@mommy1234 Definitely have a more serious talk about this with your landlord. You need to know how to behave with their dog in order to not let this situation escalate. And you guys need to all be on the same level about it. I think it would be a good idea to get a certified trainer involved.
@mommy1234 Ignore the dog/act like it doesn’t exist, I do this to dogs I’m meeting for the first time (I volunteer as a dog companion at the city shelter), especially for nervous/reactive dogs. Sharpeis are way more ‘primal’ and can come off ‘aloof’, they’re not social like golden retrievers so learning about the breed might be helpful too. Rescues all experienced some level of trauma so we have to go at their pace and give them space. Don’t project human emotions onto the dog because it confuses them which can lead to them feeling uneasy/nervous around your energy.
@mommy1234 Is it possible you can feed the dog? You would need to speak with your landlord about this. But I think if you took over feeding, the relationship would change drastically.
georgeduke
New member
@mommy1234 Hotdogs. Bits of hotdogs. Clear it with the owners first. I know it sounds crazy (and certainly not the "healthiest" treat) ----- but I guarantee you 110% you will become The Favorite. I learned about hotdog bits from a pal who has raised and obedience trained all types of dogs, mainly Rottweilers and Staffordshire Bull terriers.
You must understand that this dog's actions are all about fear aggression and he views you as a potential threat not only to him but to his owners, it seems. The nipping, the lunging . . . Once you've established yourself as the Almighty God of Hotdog Treats, this fear of you will soon be overcome. Only drawback: You might become The Favorite. (Maybe the owners will become jealous. Just warning you.)
I'm not sure how you feel about tug-of-war, but once the dog stops showing fear aggression toward you, you could try playing tug-of-war. Young dogs, in particular, are absolute suckers for a good game of tug-of-war. An old pair of socks tied together makes a good t.o.w toy. A couple of knots here and there will do.
Once the dog catches on that you are his hotdog giver and playmate ---- you'll be friends for life.
Oh: And NEVER bring your hand up over the top of a dog's head. They don't like it. A lot of dogs don't enjoy having their backs touched, either. Some dogs just don't like being touched, period. Unless the Sharpei initiates it, I'd leave off with the touching.
Please forgive him for the teeth-in-your-face incident. If he spent time in a shelter, he'll have PTSD for a while. The younger he is, the better chance he has of recovering from abuse and his shelter experience.
You must understand that this dog's actions are all about fear aggression and he views you as a potential threat not only to him but to his owners, it seems. The nipping, the lunging . . . Once you've established yourself as the Almighty God of Hotdog Treats, this fear of you will soon be overcome. Only drawback: You might become The Favorite. (Maybe the owners will become jealous. Just warning you.)
I'm not sure how you feel about tug-of-war, but once the dog stops showing fear aggression toward you, you could try playing tug-of-war. Young dogs, in particular, are absolute suckers for a good game of tug-of-war. An old pair of socks tied together makes a good t.o.w toy. A couple of knots here and there will do.
Once the dog catches on that you are his hotdog giver and playmate ---- you'll be friends for life.
Oh: And NEVER bring your hand up over the top of a dog's head. They don't like it. A lot of dogs don't enjoy having their backs touched, either. Some dogs just don't like being touched, period. Unless the Sharpei initiates it, I'd leave off with the touching.
Please forgive him for the teeth-in-your-face incident. If he spent time in a shelter, he'll have PTSD for a while. The younger he is, the better chance he has of recovering from abuse and his shelter experience.
@georgeduke Thank you so much for this I look forward to being the almighty god of hotdog treats. Also thank you for the practical advice with the stroking.
I look forward to being the almighty god of hotdog treats. Also thank you for the practical advice with the stroking.georgeduke
New member
@mommy1234 OP: I looked through this thread. You have got a lot of good advice from people. I hope it helps with your Sharpei interactions.
Don't lose heart. One of my housemates, who looks very much like our rescued dog's former owner, had a hard time with our new dog. The puppy was only four months old, but his former owner had really done a number on him. It took a while, but guess who's The Favorite now? (I am so jealous.)
Why? Mostly the playmate thing, I think. Once housemate started walking the dog and playing tug-of-war and ----- this is our dog's all-time happy game ----- chasing the dog around, they became better than fine together. Our dog has lots of toys and he loves to play keep away and have housemate chase him in the yard and house. In the house the dog carries some toy in his mouth and housemate chases him around the sofa. It's true love.
I honestly don't know that much about Sharpeis, but I think if you take it slow and dole out those hotdog bits and then get in some good playtime with the dog ---- all will be well. Best of luck.
Don't lose heart. One of my housemates, who looks very much like our rescued dog's former owner, had a hard time with our new dog. The puppy was only four months old, but his former owner had really done a number on him. It took a while, but guess who's The Favorite now? (I am so jealous.)
Why? Mostly the playmate thing, I think. Once housemate started walking the dog and playing tug-of-war and ----- this is our dog's all-time happy game ----- chasing the dog around, they became better than fine together. Our dog has lots of toys and he loves to play keep away and have housemate chase him in the yard and house. In the house the dog carries some toy in his mouth and housemate chases him around the sofa. It's true love.
I honestly don't know that much about Sharpeis, but I think if you take it slow and dole out those hotdog bits and then get in some good playtime with the dog ---- all will be well. Best of luck.
@mommy1234 I’ve been in my apartment now for 2 years and my landlords dogs (3) all act like this and still do to this day. She’s an elderly woman and I can always get behind some extra protection having the dogs around, but wow they are a stain on my free time when I just want to sit outside. Barking, growling, digging up dirt out of frustration meanwhile I’m tiptoeing to go to work. At the end of the day, it’s her house, so I’m still resistant to bringing it up in conversation.