My boyfriend’s dog bit me

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basefan

New member
My boyfriend and I live together. He decided to adopt a 1.5 year old pit/corso mix. I’ve always been nervous around larger breed dogs, and this dog is massive. I went with him the first time to the shelter and I wanted to adopt a smaller breed dog. He went back on his own and got Oscar. I want to like this dog, but I’m fearful around him. He bit/nipped at me when I first came home from work and tried to give my boyfriend a hug. My boyfriend says it’s because I’m nervous around him and he can sense I don’t like him. What can I do to relax more? How do I relax when the dog glares at me and starts growling anytime I approach my boyfriend? Will training help? My boyfriend says I am the one that needs training, which I agree with, but I also think Oscar could use some training to help with his possessiveness.

Edit: I let my boyfriend read this post and the responses and he agreed that Oscar, he and I will all receive training. I told him if Oscar doesn’t improve in 3 months I’m moving out.

Thank you all for the advice and support!
 
@basefan Your boyfriend is incorrect as to who needs the training. It’s him (well and Oscar but a lot of reactive dog training is more owner based and focuses on counter conditioning, identifying triggers, and management). Aka your boyfriend needs to be the one to know how to work with and handle Oscar and actually be proactive.

Now, will he do that? From this post I’m very doubtful. You also live together and he disregarded your well-founded fears and concerns about a larger dog and decided to get one of the trickiest and potentially most dangerous breed combos when it comes to any kind of reactivity. You’re not safe in your home, and your BF doesn’t seem concerned. Please stand your ground on this. This is so messed up on so many levels. I’m sorry this happened.
 
@spyderco I agree that my boyfriend needs training to deal with Oscar, but is there anything I can do to tell when he is going to bite? Can I deter him? My boyfriend refuses to give up the dog because he claims he only bit me because I was acting scared of him.
 
@basefan I'm going to second the people saying to leave. Sorry to be the typical Reddit advisor singing the "leave him/her" hymn, but let me tell you why:
  1. You were going to adopt a small dog. Your BF went over your head and behind your back, with no regard at all to how you felt about it. Did he even consult you at all before he went back and got the biggest, baddest ego dog he could find. I have had corsos, worked with them, etc. so this is not me speaking from anti-breed prejudice.
  2. The dog displayed concerning and threatening behaviour towards you. Did he bother to try to protect you or stop the dog at all?
  3. HE IS BLAMING YOU. After all this, he is blaming you.
It's a total disregard and disrespect of you, what you want, what you think, your agency, and your physical safety and wellbeing. Not to be cliche, but from a relationship and a dog owner perspective, he is red flags all around.
 
@gnews4badtimes2 Yeah, I 100% agree with you on every point. Aside from the fact that he did this despite her objections, you’re also right on point with “biggest, baddest, ego dog”. I find that typically, when you encounter a Corso with a bad attitude/behavioral issue, there is usually a young man at the other end of the leash. They are magnificent dogs in the proper, responsible hands, but unfortunately too many kids acquire them as a means of looking tough. An all around dangerous situation.
 
@basefan I would very strongly consider leaving. Getting a dog behind your back isn't ok. Everyone in the household should feel comfortable with the dog and be able to care for them, and people in a partnership don't make major decisions like this behind one another's back.

You have the right to feel safe in your home. You can't walk this dog. You aren't safe around this dog, and other people likely aren't either. You won't be able to bring people over.

I love and take care of my partner's dog like he's my own. I do most of their walks & feed them. I take care of them alone when he's traveling. I trained his dog to walk nicely. That's what people in a partnership do. Pets become "our pets," not "my dog who can't be alone with my partner."
 
@basefan Just so you are aware:

Experienced Pit and Mastiff owners are saying this is an EXTREMELY dangerous dog.

And those same experienced owners are saying THIS IS A DOG THEY WOULD NOT OWN.

Please at least learn to muzzle Oscar ASAP.

And maybe get a life insurance policy.
 
@basefan With an owner like your boyfriend, there is nothing you can do and the dog will bite you. I hope he becomes your ex soon. He cares more about a that dog than he does about you.
 
@basefan OP please PLEASE be careful. A dog that powerful can do damage and I’m actually scared for you. Do you know why Oscar was at the shelter to begin with? Was he a danger to his previous owner? I’m begging you to move out. I’m not anti-pitt or anti-Cane corso, but an aggressive mix of those two breeds is not something to f*ck around with. AT ALL. Please consider moving out now. You don’t want to risk anything. Good luck and please consider getting out of there ASAP. Your boyfriend should not be accepting that behavior from a large powerful pit/cane corso mix, not once, not ever.
 
@wader108 Yep those are both big muscular smart breeds. And who knows what the dogs history is. Its so frustrating when people insist on adopting a dog they aren't prepared for and then won't put in the effort. He fully got that dog so he could look tough.
 
@basefan How many and what breeds does he have actual experience with? How much damage do you have to receive before he listens to you? Personally, what he did, there's no coming back from that. Cut your losses.
 
@basefan Yes you can learn warning signs, but a pit or a corso can kill a person if they become aggressive. Deterring a dog of that size and breed is unlikely if he attacks, and you have every reason to fear him. Adopting from a shelter is a crapshoot, you don’t know the dogs background or training, and your bf is an idiot not to realize that the dog needs training NOW. He’s already dangerous, and I don’t mean only the dog, but your bf’s attitude too! Please show him these responses, and if he still feels he’s right, I’d strongly suggest rethinking your relationship and living arrangement. Defending a dangerous animal which has already bitten over your partner’s fears is a huge red flag. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
 
@basefan Not a whole lot you can do without BF being on board, just because I think he’ll undo any efforts you make.

That being said, muzzle training, or keeping him crated or in a separate room when you’re around. The keeping the dog separated is not ideal for the dog, but it’s about your safety right now. Hugs.

Also just general tips: dogs have tells that can be really subtle if you don’t know what to look for. Wide eyed (called whale eyes), slightly lifting up their lip before a full growl or snarl, and counterintuitively a wagging tail does not always mean a happy dog, just that they are alert. If he growls, stop whatever it is you’re doing, avoid eye contact, and sloooowly back away. Avoid hugging your BF around him, he seems to be resourcing guarding your BF. Not that BF deserves any hugs anyways.
 
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