It’s only night 2 and I’m struggling

[yeshuafollower]

Hey guys, I need some advice/to vent. If i could I would tag this crate training, puppy blues, and HELP!!! I just brought home our 8 week old puppy. So far, I’m really struggling. Im second guessing if it was a good idea. I waited on a waiting list for almost a year, and I drove over 2600 miles to get her. She was our dream dog. Now we are both sleep deprived and regretting everything. I love her, she’s so sweet, but nighttime is the most brutal thing ever. She takes naps in her crate during the day. I cover it, she whines a little but falls asleep. Nighttime somehow is completely different. She howls and screams. I lay next to it, she cries harder to get out. When she finally does fall back asleep, once she wakes up to potty she only wants to play and the cycle starts over again. We are getting up basically every hour and then it takes at least 30 minutes to fall asleep. We both have to work (I work from home though), so it makes everything 100x more stressful. I’ve tried everything to try to make the crate comfortable. She’s not very food motivated so that makes it harder.

Any advice please? And please no judgement. I’m really trying my best, and I spent 9 months researching how to do everything right. It just feels like none of that is working and I’m breaking down.

 

[scottclaxton55]

@yeshuafollower You're tired, the dogs tired and in a scary new place, and it's only been 2 days. Before you know it you'll have a full grown dog in front of you and will all but forget how tought the first couple of weeks are.

Honestly the best advice is just to take it day by day and to do your best to keep a sense of humor about everything.

You'll hear 50 different opinions how best to crate train, most will work fine as long as you're consistent.

It will get better!

 

[christiangal2015]

@scottclaxton55 Not the OP but I’m having the same feelings/experience as OP and kind people like you who have posted things like this are so helpful to me right now. So thank you.

 

[yeshuafollower]

@scottclaxton55 Thank you, I really need to hear this right now. I’ve never had a baby and this is my first puppy that I’m in charge of (my last dog I got when I was a kid so my mom took care of it). I don’t want to be upset with her. I know logically she is a baby. She is scared. I read all of this and know it, but somehow my tired brain doesn’t care and is just frustrated and exhausted.

 

[nt4maximusd]

@yeshuafollower It does get better! Also don’t think you have to wed yourself to a rigid set of rules for your pup. I planned on fully crate training our pup - but it didn’t work for us, so we use a baby gate to section of the kitchen diner, and that is our puppy proof area. She still sleeps in her crate at night, but we’ve never locked the door. She can always walk out of it if she wants to.

I had all the same emotions and thoughts, and now pup is 7.5 months and it is sooooo much easier. Just hang in there!

For the first few weeks, I literally had to lay on the floor in the middle of the night, half hanging out of her crate settling her to sleep, multiple times per night!

I found it so scary not really knowing what to do; was I doing everything exactly correct; was I messing up our puppy forever?! But I promise you, you will find a routine that is best for you.

 

[yeshuafollower]

@nt4maximusd Thank you! The replies are so encouraging. I’m really trying to get through it, it’s just so hard. Working makes it so much harder too. I know it will get better, but my sleep deprived brain is emotional and doesn’t listen to logic sometimes. I’ll just have to push through it!

 

[phel240sx]

@yeshuafollower It may be hard to believe right now but it does get better! With crate training, the #1 thing I’ve found to help is keep it consistent and build positive associations with the crate. If it’s only been the 2nd night so far, please give yourself and puppy some grace. It’s a huge adjustment for both of you - and keep in mind that your puppy is used to sleeping with it’s mom and siblings every night for it’s whole life so far, and now it’s alone in a new place with new people. I promise your puppy will adjust! Play crate games and feed puppy in the crate. I also found that putting things that smell like me in the crate helps a lot too (like sweatpants or clothes I wear a lot). I got my corgi puppy at 8 weeks and it’s been a month and she still isn’t a fan of the crate but it’s so much easier now.

 

[yeshuafollower]

@phel240sx How do you get her to settle once she wakes up and goes potty? If she is sleepy, she goes in the crate no issues. When I know she is tired during the day I put her in the crate, she cries for a couple minutes, then sleeps. At night she just wants to play. She’s restless and takes forever to whine and go back to sleep.

 

[grandjubilee]

@yeshuafollower Have you tried getting her to settle with you outside of the crate first? It’s a little more time consuming but this seemed to work with my pup when she was younger. I would sit with her on the couch or my bed and let her calm down to the point where it seemed like she was about falling asleep. I’d then transfer her to the crate and she would continue sleeping. I only did this for about a week to try and get some of my sanity back. During the day I’d play crate games with her (worth a Google search), I’d feed her all of her meals in the crate and nap time was always in the crate. As all have mentioned, it gets better. Don’t give in!!

 

[yeshuafollower]

@grandjubilee She falls asleep beside us if she is out of the crate during the day time. When she does, I’ll always pick her up and put her in the crate. She sleeps for about an hour no complaints that way. The issue is, she has to be really tired to do that. And in the middle of the night (when you’d think she would be tired) she just wants to play and be free. So if I tried to sit with her outside it she would just run and play instead of settling

 

[phel240sx]

@yeshuafollower Nighttime is probably when she’s the most anxious since that’s the biggest change for her. She will learn that when you guys go to bed is when she goes to bed. When my puppy is restless, I give her “games” that are mentally stimulating/exhausting, like puzzle games. A tip that a friend gave me that saved my life is putting treats or food into a toilet paper roll and then folding up the ends so puppy has to try and get it out. My puppy LOVES it now. You could also try kongs and sniff games. I’ll also go to YouTube and play calming puppy music (it’s basically just lofi music) and that actually seems to help. My boyfriend even likes it too lmao.

 

[harris316]

@yeshuafollower Where is her crate located? In a room away from everyone if possible, just covering it she knows you’re still there. Unfortunately some puppies just need to work it out, and it could get a little worse before it eventually gets better. (I have two dogs, one loves his kennel from day one and the other thought it was a fate worse than death. Make sure you’re not using her crate as any kind of punishment or time out area. I k ow you said she’s not food motivated, one of mine isn’t either. But they both get the same treat regardless once they go in their kennels, and the one that originally hated it will go in there voluntarily when she sees us putting our coats on. It took a while, tho. Like 3 months.

 

[yeshuafollower]

@harris316 Her crate was in a separate room covered, but she screamed and howled once she woke up, so I moved it next to me on the couch but still covered. She still cries there too, but not the demon screaming of if it’s in the other room. I’m not sure if I should continue to try sleeping in the same room until she is more comfortable, or if I should just let her figure it out in the other room. I just don’t want animal control called on us for her constant screaming.

 

[harris316]

@yeshuafollower We also played music in the room when we’d leave. YouTube has things called “dog music” that runs for 10-15 hours. That might help, however you do it. We could hear her howling and barking from the end of our driveway even, but as far as we know, no one called the cops about it. My husband said it was closer to a month before she calmed down (instead of the 3 I said lol), so there’s nope still.

 

[yeshuafollower]

@harris316 We tried the dog music, it seems to help a little. At least during the day. I guess I just need to push through it at night, and maybe sleep in another room and set alarms to get up and let her out. Right now we are only letting her out when we wakes up and cries (she does pee every time)

 

[shell65]

@yeshuafollower I would move her into the bedroom for the first couple weeks. I've always kept them in the bedroom with me (10+ dogs in my life). They are just too young to be alone. I've slept on the floor in front of the crate for a couple days then moved to the bed where they can still see me. I've not had crying past the third night. The first weeks are brutal getting up every couple hours but it gets better. You just have to power through and know that your schedule will even out. You can do it! Remember to take breaks away from the puppy. Don't let it take over your life. Go grab a coffee. Have a friend watch the pup and go to dinner. Good luck!

 

[yeshuafollower]

@shell65 Thank you for the kind words! We are currently sleeping on the couch with the puppy right beside us. I don’t know if there would be really any difference in the bedroom vs the living room. Hearing that it gets better really helps though.

 

[nacadee]

@yeshuafollower Hey. Like others have said, it will get better. It's a new life for both you and the puppy and they need time to adjust.
Thr most important thing is to be consistent, dont give in to the crying, if they know crying gets them attention they'll continue to do it. Also, make the times that you take them out to pee really boring. Don't talk, don't engage, don't make eye contact. Just take them to pee and then put them back in their crate.
You should also take time to think about the positives. You may be struggling with sleeping, but think of your acheivements, like the first time they respond to their, or when they learn the sit command. Those positives will get you through.
It is going to get worse (teething, recall, puberty), but as the owner of a 20 month old, I PROMISE that it will get better.

 

[yeshuafollower]

@nacadee I am currently taking her out to potty when she wakes up and cries (not letting her out after she gets put back in the crate until she sleeps and wakes up again). Should I not be doing that and just setting alarms instead?

 

[agathafinch]

@yeshuafollower Yes. The #1 thing my dogs breeder told us was to not pay attention to him if he’s crying in his crate. Don’t even look at him. Because he will take this as positive reinforcement of the crying and will realize that crying gives attention which is the opposite of what you want. I really only had to let my pup out once in the middle of the night when he was that young usually around the halfway mark between when you went to sleep and when you have to wake up. I’d set an alarm and take her out at that point. By about 12 weeks she should be able to sleep through the night more easily without needing to go out.