I think I offended the breeder I was most interested in. Should I try to fix things or move on?

[lukeh]

I’ve been searching for a particular breed that’s been harder than I anticipated to find, and I found one breeder in my area that I’ve been interested in working with. It took me a while to figure out how to contact them but finally I connected in a breed group online. We chatted once, just me introducing myself mostly and explaining why I was interested in the breed. They said their waitlist was quite long and that was the end of the conversation.

They saw me inquire about another breeder in the group and messaged me asking if I was no longer interested in working with them and why. I said not at all, I had just started talking to breeders and thought their waitlist was full. Someone had suggested I look into the other breeder so I was just checking them out. They responded by saying there was a chance they could have a puppy for me in about a month, and I said thank you. A few days later I sent a message saying I realized we never really talked about what I was looking for in a puppy, and wrote a little about the temperament, gender, and coat color, but emphasized temperament over color, and they never responded to me. I messaged a few days later with a question I had and again no answer, but I can see they have read my messages.

Did I screw up by looking at another breeder? I had never filled out a questionnaire or application or really even talked about what we were looking for temperament wise, so I didn’t think I was on a particular list, especially since they said the wait would probably be really long. Should I try to reach out again and smooth things over or just move on? The breeder was very friendly and responsive before I checked out the other breeder. I’d like to work with this breeder and believe they have a great program with wonderful dogs… I wasn’t trying to offend, just trying to do my due diligence making sure I was picking the right person.

Thanks.

 

[danxox]

@lukeh

 

[hiibegigi]

@lukeh I don't see how that would offend anyone. I also find it a bit weird how they first said their wait list is long, but suddenly can get you a puppy in a month as soon as you showed interest in another breeder? Not responding to you after telling you there might be a puppy for you in a month is also quite unprofessional, imo. Hope someone else chimes in too, but this is how I see it and it would be enough for me to drop them and just go with someone else.

 

[lukeh]

@hiibegigi Honestly I did too… they had responded to someone else saying the puppies had been claimed “long ago” as in there had been a lot of people waiting for a while, so I had no reason to believe I’d be considered for this litter, especially after only own conversation. This breeder is very well known in the breed community, lots of other people use her dogs in their programs, so I don’t want to be on their bad side or something. But the whole thing feels uncomfortable to me.

 

[markfred]

@lukeh Puppy owner's perspective: You could have a relationship with your breeder for the lifetime of your dog. I'd pick someone less stressful to talk to. And also, yeah bad vibes that their waitlist was full, then they got offended that you looked elsewhere, but then they suddenly have a puppy for you, but how do they have a puppy for you when they don't even know what you want in a puppy? You can probably fix things if you still like them, but I wouldn't.

 

[lukeh]

@markfred I’m already so stressed because 10 years ago when I was getting my first puppy I did not pick a good breeder in the end, and they never once contacted me again or ever responded to any of my calls or emails, so I definitely want something different this time around, and I’m finding it a lot harder than I expected.

 

[markfred]

@lukeh That's so sad. I found someone with good google reviews, good social media presence, and who answered all of my calls and texts along the way. There's a lot more that goes into a good breeder of course, but I think those things will at least show you if they keep a good relationship with their puppies' new families

 

[connieingeorgia]

@lukeh They’ve done you a favor, believe me!
Sometimes as good as a breeder may seem on the outside it’s how they communicate or behave that really gives them away, a good breeder should be happy to help in finding another breeder or puppy if they do not have availability, being that breeding is never a guarantee and anything can happen, running back to you to promise a puppy is like begging for your money, and not prioritizing temperament/ignoring your messages about it is another red flag. They may be butt hurt but it’s best to find a breeder you feel confident in and comfortable communicating with

 

[walkinthewoods]

@connieingeorgia Exactly.

 

[brandon891]

@lukeh I'm honestly more confused about them stating they had a 'long waiting list', then when you reach out to a different breeder, they suddenly may have a puppy for you in a month...maybe it's a tactic to get potential customers to offer to pay more to get a puppy earlier? And you didn't bite. I'd say you dodged a bullet

 

[walkinthewoods]

@lukeh I don't know if you read my reply to your previous post, but the more I think on it, the better my advice was.

Essentially, pick a breeder you feel comfortable with, forget those annoying puppies and look for an adult (among other benefits, no waiting list, no deposits). KNOW YOUR VALUE as a "good pet home". And if you're planning on traveling to get a dog anyway, instead consider attending the national specialty, make a weekend of it, get word out who you are and what you're looking for, and, again, choose a breeder you're comfortable with rather than some certain color or sex of dog...because, really, in the end what you want is a nice healthy dog from a nice sane breeder.

Nobody can get mad at someone for hanging out at the national specialty to look at the dogs and chat ringside while looking for a less-problematic successor to 11 and 12-1/2 year old pets that they stuck with through thick and thin.

The fact that you've had difficult dogs should make the iffy breeders stay far away...they don't want to deal with someone who knows a problem when they see it.

People who have excellent dogs tend to be focused on getting their dogs into the best homes possible, not freaking out about imagined ego slights.

Put it this way...imagine the breeder is a dog. If they're weirdly reactive or shy or don't fit the standard for what a good breeder should be, keep looking.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@lukeh Sounds like you've dodged a bullet! Their attitude and behavior sounds very bizarre.