How do I tell my husband I don't support him buying a purebred dog?

[torunn]

My husband and I recently lost our dog, tragically. He was an 8 year old purebred German Shepherd who he adopted through a breeder before we met. He paid over a thousand dollars for the puppy. I met my husband and our dog when he was two years old, and this was my first time ever living with/having a dog. Don't get me wrong, he was an AMAZING dog and I loved him so much, but I don't think my husband and I's lifestyle is/was suited for a German Shepherd.

As my husband and I grieve our loss, he has already mentioned he wants another dog again soon and has already contacted two German Shepherd breeders. These puppies would also be worth $2,000. He has mentioned in conversations before he will only own shepherds for the rest of his life.

My problems with this I've already started to mention:
-We live in a small single family home that has a small fenced backyard. We cannot afford to move to a larger property any time soon. We also have two cats.
-We live near the mountains and really enjoy the outdoors, but most weeks we can also be couch potatoes since we work exhausting jobs and are not home much.
-Our previous dog was SO expensive all around. From adopting to vet bills.
-Our purebred dog had a load of health problems, and my husband often wouldn't opt for x-rays or other big health checks, complaining because of the price. The last few years of our dog's life was hindered due to these health problems, in my opinion, my husband may disagree unfortunately.
-Lastly, luckily our dog was a good boy, but I have never liked walking a dog that is stronger than me and has one of the strongest bites. I never had a dog until I met my husband, and do not know how to train puppies, let alone one of the toughest breeds I know. Our dog never bit anyone, but I've learned if you're walking a German Shepherd and are passing by small children most parents will pick their children up/avoid out of fear...which I hate.

Since this time around it is a team decision to get a dog (remember he is still very much grieving his last dog)....how to I try and reason with my husband to consider adopting a mixed (smaller) breed from a shelter? I think it would be better for our small home and lifestyle to get a dog that's not inbred with a reputation for health issues, and a dog I feel comfortable training and walking without the risk of it overpowering me if it wants to? Our local shelter is full of young dogs that would save us over $1000 alone in just the adoption fees.

This makes my husband sound like a terrible owner and I swear he's not, but the size of the home and the lack of desire to cover health costs are the big selling points against purebred Shepherds.....AITA?

 

[justapewfiller]

@torunn You need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him. Make a list of pros and cons. Not all dogs are hard to train. Our gs/lab was so easy to train but gas lots of energy. We do have a good size yard and house though. You can all go for walks. Mine goes.out on two a day! Exercise for all of you! Good luck whatever you decide!

 

[lutheranrose]

@torunn The title is a little misleading. It sounds like you don’t want a bigger dog or to spend a lot to acquire the dog. Responsible breeders might cost a bit more but they’ve done generic and temperament testing and can help find the right fit a bit better than a rescue may be able to. Rescues do the best they can but they’ll never be able to have a complete history (genetic or behavior). It very much sounds like you need to have a conversation with your partner about what dog would fit your lifestyle and budget. Also talking about what to expect with vet costs with different breeds and rescues.

 

[cross_product]

@torunn My husband loves big dogs. He’s a runner and wanted a dog that could keep pace. We went back and forth and ultimately settled on a medium sized rescue for many of the same reasons. Our biggest decided factor was my safety. I also wouldn’t feel comfortable walking a dog that could drag me. And I definitely wouldn’t feel comfortable having my parents walking a big dog.

 

[ashlita]

@torunn Doesn’t sound like a dog issue to me.

Just share your thoughts with him, he’s your husband. Work it out together, as a team.

 

[solagratiaprosalute]

@torunn While I agree with you that the breed doesn’t fit your lifestyle one thing to consider about adopting from a shelter is, you don’t know genetics of that dog at all and they could have a ton of health issues that the shelter doesn’t know about. That dog could also have genetic predisposition for aggression as well sometimes it can’t be trained out. I think you guys need to sit down and have a serious discussion about what’s realistic for you both can handle not only physically, but mentally and financially. You also need to bring up what would be fair to any dog brought into the house, if you can’t give them the physical and mental exercise they need it will be a nightmare. If he wants a purebred dog you guys can still get one through a rescue, but I recommend doing the test on the AKC website that matches your lifestyle with a breed, and finding a breed specific rescue.

 

[allbutnone]

@torunn This is content for a big talk. Save for a veterinary budget FIRST. Give you time to think together. And you need to come to terms with WHY he wants a breeder dog. I chose a purebred with working parents because I was on a farm and wanted to train a puppy up around livestock.

Maybe *this* time, you could compromise on a medium rescue. Next time, if you live somewhere else, he could think of his Shepherd.

 

[belyse]

@torunn It really doesn't sound like your lifestyle is good for a big, energetic, driven dog. Talk to your husband. He needs to be a responsible owner, and that means doing what's best for the dog, not him - which in this case seems to be not getting a shepherd and instead looking for a couch potato dog that matches your lifestyle.

 

[elaineb97]

@torunn I adore German Shepherds. They are beautiful and amazing dogs. I will also probably never ever own one because my life style and their life style do not mesh. It would be unfair to the dog.

That is the conversation you have to have. And it is going to be a very hard conversation because he's still grieving and right now all he wants is his dog back. He needs to understand that another German Shepherd will not replace his dog. They are all unique individuals with unique personalities.

Talk to him but also listen. Suggest waiting until his grief is not so new and raw. Losing a dog hurts so incredibly much and you are never prepared for it. Especially not at 8 years old.

And I'm sorry, but if you aren't prepared for vet bills you aren't prepared for having a dog. He needs to understand that as well. Get pet insurance or save up or don't have a pet. Those are the options. Because again, it is unfair to the animal to not care for them.

 

[enealexandru]

@torunn Have a sit down conversation with your husband about exactly what you posted here. They all sound like super valid reasons for not wanting to get a GSD. When I was picking what kind of big I wanted, I completely ignored my favourite breeds and wrote a list of the qualities I wanted in a dog and ones that I didn't. I ended up with a breed I never would've considered and she fits my lifestyle perfectly. It can also be hard to buy the same breed as the last dog and expect to get the same temperament and personality. What are your husband's reasons for wanting to stick with a GSD.

For your health point, it's not actually true that mixed breed dogs are healthier than pure bread dogs. Unless both parents are health tested, you have no way to know what genes and illnesses are being passed down to your dog. I think if you do decide on a purebred dog or a GSD, making sure it's from an ethical breeder who does health testing and breeds to improve the breed and not for a profit is super important, especially with any highly reactive breed since they also temperament test all of their dogs. With all that being said, GSD are predisposed to a lot of health conditions and well bred dogs are not exempt to this. With a dog from the shelter (purebred or a mix) there is no way to know what they are predisposed to and what their temperament will be like in a home environment. I agree with the people who suggested pet insurance for your next dog because either way, a dog is always going to have at least one hefty vet bill.

If there's also an ethical component to why you would rather rescue a dog, you can always look into breed specific rescues as another option

 

[shan123]

@torunn . Have 2 purebred dogs that I rescued. F shepherd and M rottweiler. Rottie from the pound. Shepherd from private owner. You just have to look. My rottie adoption fee was $150. Within a week I spent another $1200. The after care is expensive. I was lucky to get a young dog. 10 months old but was badly abused. Now 22 mo old and a real gem.

Try to adopt. But not many shepherds in shelters. Consider rottie or Dobie.