First time dog owners.. neglected 17 mo old rescue or puppy from breeder?

[sheloje]

@johnanand A 14 year old dog is going to be so so so much calmer than a puppy or the rescue. Keep looking, and maybe meet a few younger poodles to see if your gut still says the same thing?

 

[tramvn]

@johnanand Your comment is very interesting regarding wanting a dog to give you more structure in your life. Especially if we’re talking about puppies, I feel like the structure I create for my dog is for HER life, and not really mine. Having a living being relying fully on your for fulfillment, socialization, love, not to mention basic survivorship, requires a lot of effort on owners’ parts to create structure for their dogs. Getting into a routine with a pup can definitely create more structure for the humans too, but especially when dealing with puppies (at least in my experience), there are so many unexpected moments of puppyhood that my life has become more unstructured, in some ways. At least for now… while my dog is still developing into early adulthood.

I think what I am trying to say is, if you are looking for structure, be aware that puppies may not provide that specifically, as their total reliance on us to take care of them can sometimes mean total unpredictability in schedules, disruptions in routines, social lives, etc. It can feel very unstructured at times!

 

[fabiyi2003]

@johnanand A puppy is a living being, not something you get to fix having unstructured weekends.

I highly recommend doing a lot more research before even considering getting any dog, let alone a puppy or one the rescue says needs an experienced owner. The very fact you'd shrug off that warning says you're not ready.

 

[johnanand]

@fabiyi2003 Am I actually shrugging off a warning by making a post about it on the r/puppy101 subreddit? I have literally no other references. Most of my friends don’t have dogs. The ones that do would probably not think twice about us getting said rescue. My husband said we could handle it but I wanted to get opinions of EXPERIENCED dog owners hence me making a post on this subreddit. And now I can see we probably couldn’t handle her. Jesus, y’all are harsh.

 

[djwhalen]

@johnanand If you're looking for something to do a puppy or a rescue will give you that in spades. Long as you understand that their needs are not optional.

They're not usually big chewers, though. Very soft mouthed breed. Our old standard would nurse a rawhide bone for weeks. My current husky/heeler will eat one in about fifteen minutes.

 

[je5usfre4k]

@johnanand I would worry about a high-prey drive with human babies in your near future. I’m actually surprised that a rescue would consider adopting out a challenging dog to someone anticipating having small children in the next few years. I realize these are weird times but when I was in Rescue that was a yellow flag, if not always a red flag, when adopting out a dog with issues.

I’m not a poodle person, although I would choose a standard over a smaller version in a family with children all day long, and they can be wonderful dogs. But I’m curious as to why that particular breed?

You’re going to be challenged either way. Puppies are, well, puppies, but having known temperaments in the dam and sire can be really helpful, although not 100%. I would make sure your breeder understands you’re looking for an extremely stable dog who could handle small children.

 

[novas51791]

@johnanand You’re going to have a really hard time housebreaking a puppy if you both work FT. Puppies have no bladder control until they’re at least 3 months - but they still won’t be able to - nor should they be expected to - hold their bladder for 8 hrs plus travel time. Which means every day when you get home, the very first thing is you’re going to be cleaning the crate and the puppy of pee and poop. Puppies need to eat 3x/day. Who’s going to give that midday meal if neither of you is there? I have 2 dogs. My 7 year old took longer to house train than my 1 year old since I was working when I got her, even though I was only part time. I retired 2 yrs ago, so I was home 24/7 when I got my new baby last year, and she learned faster.

I used puppy pads with the older dog, and I had her in a puppy playpen while I was working. The problem was the puppy pads were white - so she would pee or poop on anything that was white. It took over a year before she understood that was a no-no. My 1 year old is my 6th dog - it’s never taken long to house train a dog, but I had never used puppy pads before - always went right to the outdoors. My 7 year old is the only one I used the pads with, and she’s the only one I had trouble training.

Whenever I’ve gotten a new puppy, I always take 3 weeks vacation so I can be home 24/7 during that adjustment period.

 

[loveondisplaynetwork]

@johnanand Well, I'm a pro-rescue person so my opinion may be biased but.... get the rescue!!

Of course, there's the altruist part of giving poor girl a new oportunity. But mostly, because puppies are HARD. Just take a look to this sub if yo didn't yet.

I got lucky with my pup, I love him, but still, I remember me and my SO in the first weeks saying: 'Ok, next dog will be an adult rescue'.

Ok course she has issues and need training. But puppy also needs it. Both of them will learn, and probably an older dog will be easier to manage in the first days.

To first time owners like us, puppyhood is underestimated and overrated.

Good luck with your future dog!

 

[johnm8269]

@johnanand I would suggest you go see the Rescue to see how the dog responds to you. If they dog is too scared or nervous, the dog will not be a good fit. And take your time. There is one in a shelter with your name in it. You have to be extremely careful about getting one from a breeder. Unless you have checked out the breeder carefully, there is no way to know if that would be a fit also. Take it slow in looking for a dog, do not be too breed specific, be open minded of different breeds.

 

[confusedkid95]

@johnanand Get the rescue. As an inexperienced dog owner as an adult. It’s truly your best bet. Not saying you wouldn’t be good as a puppy owner but the amount of work going in it off the bat is a lot less.
Just to get a puppy potty trained means taking them outside every 30 mins to the exact same spot making sure they go. It’s teaching them not to bite or jump or chew on all your stuff. You have to keep an eye on them at all times, they’ll put anything and everything in their mouth and go potty in the house because they can’t hold it very long. Taking them out every 1-2 hours throughout the night so they don’t pee in their crate if that’s where you’re having them sleep. Crate training is a nightmare too. The rescue is already trained on the major things. The anxiousness will fine overtime and with more training. You just need to make that dog trust you and trust you’ll protect them

 

[johnanand]

@confusedkid95 So the puppy in question is currently 12 weeks old. Also, my biggest concern is that the rescue has some significant behavioral issues and it will take a lot of work to re-wire her brain. I’m having a hard time finding adoptable young dogs that are not a wild card.

 

[symphorian]

@johnanand It’s pretty tough to find the best of both worlds. You can’t be unwilling to put in the work for a puppy, but also want a young dog with no past trauma. If there’s a young dog up for adoption (rather than purchase), there’s a reason it’s there; some previous owner recognized it was not a good fit for them, or it was forcefully removed from its environment, both scenarios in which the dog had some negative experiences previously, so it likely will have some trauma.

12 weeks is far too young to expect to leave it home for half a day. My dog just turned 7 months and is up to 2.5-3 hours at absolute best, but he couldn’t go more than an hour until about 4.5/5 months old. Please do more research on this sub on puppies, it’s a boatload of work.

 

[tramvn]

@johnanand I can’t speak from personal experience about breeders or poodles, but I am a first time dog owner to an under socialized, now 8-month-old puppy. Unlike the pup you were looking at rescuing, my dog wasn’t in obedience, socialization classes etc.

It is HARD. Having a puppy in general, especially as a first time owner is already hard, but I agree with other commenters that you should really take the rescue seriously when they say a dog would be best in a home with experienced owners. It’s something I wish my rescue had told me before adopting my dog. It is a daily battle and potentially lifelong management of her reactivity and fear-aggression, which is rooted in anxiety and fear. Please don’t make this decision hastily.

 

[mcchan]

@johnanand Both my dogs are rescued pit mixes. One was an adult when I got him, and he’s always going to be a challenging dog (he’s also part poodle lmao). He’s reactive and anxious, even after all the work I’ve done with training (for us both). Finding a dog sitter is tough bc most people assume he’s a normal dog and I’m being a crazy dog mom. No dear friends, when I say he is extra, I mean it.

I adopted my puppy from petfinder (she was dumped on the street with her litter) and she has been an absolute angel. Of course have dealt with normal puppy stuff, but she has been so much easier to train. She is also a people pleasing breed (less mixed than my other mutt) and very treat motivated. I got lucky since I adopted her sight unseen.

For a first time owner, as much as puppy can be, feel like getting a pup would be the better way to go. Especially if you want to have a good hand in their early training. No shade to my older reactive dog, but he was an adoption return for a reason. He is special needs basically, not for most dog owners who just want a chill bud.

Also recommend actually spending time with whatever dog you’d like to bring into your home. Breeds have standards of course, but dogs are individuals who have their own personalities.

Good luck!

 

[jesuswasathiest]

@johnanand So I know it's been over 3 weeks since you posted. But in case you're still deciding between the two options and are willing to wait a while, I wanted to offer a possible alternative.

Reach out to show dog kennels of standard poodles. Some of them will pet out their older dogs once they've retired from the ring so they can make space in their breeding programs. These dogs are super well trained, usually chill since they're used to high stress scenarios, and well bred/healthy/have all their shots. Plus because they're loved by the breeder, you'll get lifetime support from an experienced owner, and they will take them back if it doesn't work out. Also they're usually cheaper than a puppy. It will probably take longer for you to get one because it requires considerable research and is really up to chance but it might be perfect for a first time owner

Best way to go about it is to go on the poodle subreddit / poodle club of america / facebook group and ask for reputable breeders, then reach out and see if they have any retiring adults.