F the B that gave me and my dog a dirty look

[stateemil]

Just a rant. I know people experience way worse than dirty looks, but my dog did such a good job (well, for her) redirecting and coming across the street with me when the dog and her owner suddenly appeared.

Yes. My 10lb loon toon got out a few viscous sounding barks. Yes. She got on her back legs for maybe two seconds . But YES we got back on all 4s quickly while I cooed her across the street with a shower of chicken treats and lots of praise.

I don't know why I looked back/over, but I did... This woman was glaring at me with daggers as her silly floof trotted ahead of her without a care in the world.

Anyway... Love this sub. Thanks for listening.

 

[blessedbygrace]

@stateemil Sounds like you both did amazing! That other owner has probably never had a reactive dog, your dog is lucky to have you putting in work and spending extra time together training

 

[lward]

@blessedbygrace Great point. It's always a good reminder that not everyone has a reactive dog, so they are not always inclined to pick up on our successes or worries

 

[stateemil]

@blessedbygrace Thank you. No exaggerating, I spend my entire days thinking about how to 'train out' her reactvity. And we've made slow, but painstaking, progress. It's stressful on many days, but I love her.

She was such a mess when we got her. Rescued from a hoarding situation. Progress has been slow. Probably the one thing in life you can't just 'throw money at' to make it go away. Believe me....the dollars and days of work taken off to spend with professional trainers... have really added up!!

People just have no idea until they've been there. I've had dogs my entire life, and nothing prepared me for this. Before, dogs were 'easy'.

 

[steve12]

@stateemil I passed a dude and his (off-leash) dog on the trail the other day. My leashed, reactive girl lunged towards his dog and growled a bit, then returned her attention back to me and kept walking (huge step for her!)

He shouted after us "you're dog's an asshole!"

I know she's an asshole, but she's also a wonderful dog who's made so much progress. I've been brainstorming witty responses for the next time this happens.

Anyway, keep putting the work in your dog is worth it

 

[tery]

@steve12 “Thanks! So are you!” But make sure to sound cheery when you say it.

 

[carolynrob]

@steve12 My dog is on a leash!

 

[seeker112]

@steve12 “You’re an a-hole for not having your dog on a leash”
Or my personal favorite, “yes, but she’s my a-hole.” You can always add a “duck off” for good measure.

 

[mairie]

@steve12 When on leash I just ignore people and do not even look at them or maybe laugh. It takes their power away. I sometimes have the opposite happen though when I go to a leash less beach since my boy is leash reactive, and some people who have no idea there dog is leash reactive give me the stink eye when my boy very cautiously goes to say hi (and will back off immediately if any issue). So I yell, sorry but this is a leash free area! He is the best boy off leash but a lunger/barker on leash for any bigger dogs.

 

[neogenesis92]

@mairie Laughing or blowing kisses takes the nasty out of their comments.

 

[notafan]

@stateemil She just looked at you? I mean I understand the frustrations of having a reactive dog, but the woman is human. She is going to have reactions to things in her environment too, just like your dog... I would agree she sucks if she said anything or acted overly dramatic, but what did she do wrong? What is she supposed to do, avert her eyes? Maybe she is concerned for her own dog and wanted to make sure she knew what was happening and that there wasn’t a threat. Pretty harsh to acknowledge you have a reactive dog but expect others not to be reactive in any mild way. I’ll probably get downvoted but this sounds like you’re being overly sensitive. I’m sure your dog isn’t offended that she looked. When I’m out with my dog and another dog is being aggressive/reactive, you better believe I’m going to look at it. We’ve been charged by dogs before. I’m not going to turn my back and pretend there isn’t a dog acting stressed/aggressive nearby. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time with training and I get it, but you should be reasonable. What would you do in her situation? She has a right to look out for her own dog too. If she actually did anything I would agree with you, but looking is a pretty low standard when she has a dog with her and was probably concerned. People want to baby everyone instead of being honest but I’m not going to go that route. Simply looking in your direction to make sure she was safe doesn’t make her a bitch. She doesn’t know you or your dog, and maybe she has no experience with reactive dogs. She’s not a bitch for that.

 

[savedbygracejoy]

@stateemil You are not alone. I think most, if not all, of us have had that happen. And probably for most of us it happens regularly.

You already know not to worry about what others think. You know your dogs range and where she was on the spectrum from “super amazing day for her” to “worst you’ve ever seen her”. If you say she did great then she did great and the problem is with the other person and their lack of experience with reactive dogs.

Dog snobs exist people!

 

[kaye1979]

@stateemil To be honest I feel like people are going to judge you no matter what you do. Your dog barks and lunges because the situation got too stressful (even if you tried everything you had to get away) --> judgement. Your dog was fine until theirs started barking but yours is bigger so their dog reacting doesn't count --> judgement. You're working on giving your dog a sense of safety outside and are therefore focusing on giving more space to your dog --> judgement because your dog is not walking beside your leg. You get surrounded on three sides and your dog pulls you along when you're going for the only safe option left.. you guessed it.

The thing is that those people most likely never had a reactive dog, or an easily startled/stressed/overwhelmed dog. They had to do no training to get their dogs to be comfortable enough to ignore others. They didn't get hindered by not being safe from your dogs triggers making it a lot harder to even work on loose leash walking let alone anything else. Just keep them in mind when working towards your goal. Let's prove them wrong by putting in the actual work instead of accidentally ending up with the jackpot and not even realizing it.

I'm way past giving a damn what others think of me. Let them gossip, because they don't know anything about me. And neither did that lady know anything about you. I hope you'll get to that point someday.

 

[imagebeastmarkbeast]

@stateemil OP you sound like a great dog mom, keep doing your thing and don't let the haters bring you down. As long as your pup and you are safe you're doing the right things.

 

[stateemil]

@imagebeastmarkbeast Thank you. Tears welling. It's so hard!

 

[marcobrownlow]

@stateemil F that B indeed. They're the Karens of the dog world. No actual empathy towards dogs. Entitled to their own views above all else.

 

[nikifor85]

@stateemil It sounds like you're doing brilliantly! To be completely and utterly honest (this is a safe space of a community, right?!) I definitely used to raise an eyebrow at what I perceived as 'badly behaved dogs' before I got my pup. I'm mortified I ever judged like that. I consider myself a lifelong dog lover but never owned one before, and I just didn't know any better.

Well, the barky little shoe is on the other foot now, as I find myself kneeling at the side of the street calming my own reactive baby, constantly thinking up new ways to distract, and work through this behaviour. I had zero idea of the immense work you can put in behind the scenes only to have a stranger judge you in a split second. Now I smile encouragingly at people in similar situations while moving along quickly so their dog doesn't freak too much.

Congrats on your patience and hard work

 

[stateemil]

@nikifor85 Thanks! I will admit I was on the other side before. Thought any dog that barks or lunges is a 'bad dog'.

All I ever had was easy dogs. I mean realllly easy. All rescues. All from varying situations. I've never had/raised a puppy... All adult rescues and somehow, I just never knew.

 

[onguard]

@stateemil Ugh, I feel this. I HATE the judgement! I can tell they think I have this horribly trained dog & I'm a bad owner. They have no idea how hard it is to deal with a dog that has these issues.

Anyway, rant over. I feel you deeply on this one! Hugs

 

[stateemil]

@onguard Thanks. Same same. So much work!!