sonofmatthew
New member
He is scheduled to be euthanized (in-home) this coming Sunday.
I just joined this sub so I apologize if this is not the place to post this. My 16.5 year old male Jack Russell Terrier (Dexter) has progressive dementia or Canine Cognitive Dysfunction (CCD) and was diagnosed about a year and half ago. Symptoms have progressed somewhat slowly over the course of the year and a half but if I compare to how he is today versus just say, 2 months ago, things are noticeably different compared to when he was first diagnosed and 3 months after.Overall, over the course of the last 8 to 12 months, I managed an average of around 4 to 6 hours of sleep a night as my dog would wake and pace in circles. Currently, he has all of the classic symptoms including urinating frequently (every 10 to 15 minutes if not taken out) indoors and when defecating indoors or outdoors, he would fall over on himself due to his weak legs. There's two options during his daily life and that is either to sleep or when he's awake, he would pace in circles. He also has signs of staring into space or getting "stuck" by simple things like a chair leg. It takes me anywhere from 1 hour to 3 hours every night to get him to lay in his bed and stay there. But that doesn't guarantee he will remain there enough for me to get a somewhat good night sleep.
The most difficult part is at times, he will seem like himself. He will seem like he's aware and he will do his little happy jog for a few paces when he smells his treat. Like today, I gave him a kiss and he kissed me right back. He has not done this in close to a year. And this was right after I finalized the time with the vet. It's so heartbreaking. Is it a sign? Ugh. But I know the CCD has either fully consumed him or is very close and I have been struggling - and currently feeling an intense and enormous amount of guilt that I may be putting him to sleep too soon or that I may be doing this because I have to take him out to pee every 10 minutes or have to hold him up so he can perform #2 in at 3am, or know that I have to clean his entire cage and bath him after coming back from work or dinner because he's soiled himself by being left alone for just 3 to 4 hours.
I know that this is my decision but that doesn't make it any better. Has anyone else gone through this? I'm finding myself ( a grown 44-year old man) breaking down in tears in the middle of the day, in the shower, and even while working out thinking about all of this. With the euthanization coming Sunday, I am absolutely dreading the weekend. I've taken so many online "quality of life" assessments but I come out more confused and guilty as ever - even though the majority indicate it is time.
I'm at the point where I'm starting to think about "well, if this problem with Dexter didn't exist, would I still euthanize him" and I do this with every "issue" to see if I'm being some kind of selfish a-hole.
I'm not sure what the point of this post is. To vent? To ask for help? To be reassured? No idea. This is my first pet and the first death of anything that's so close to me about to pass away.
I just joined this sub so I apologize if this is not the place to post this. My 16.5 year old male Jack Russell Terrier (Dexter) has progressive dementia or Canine Cognitive Dysfunction (CCD) and was diagnosed about a year and half ago. Symptoms have progressed somewhat slowly over the course of the year and a half but if I compare to how he is today versus just say, 2 months ago, things are noticeably different compared to when he was first diagnosed and 3 months after.Overall, over the course of the last 8 to 12 months, I managed an average of around 4 to 6 hours of sleep a night as my dog would wake and pace in circles. Currently, he has all of the classic symptoms including urinating frequently (every 10 to 15 minutes if not taken out) indoors and when defecating indoors or outdoors, he would fall over on himself due to his weak legs. There's two options during his daily life and that is either to sleep or when he's awake, he would pace in circles. He also has signs of staring into space or getting "stuck" by simple things like a chair leg. It takes me anywhere from 1 hour to 3 hours every night to get him to lay in his bed and stay there. But that doesn't guarantee he will remain there enough for me to get a somewhat good night sleep.
The most difficult part is at times, he will seem like himself. He will seem like he's aware and he will do his little happy jog for a few paces when he smells his treat. Like today, I gave him a kiss and he kissed me right back. He has not done this in close to a year. And this was right after I finalized the time with the vet. It's so heartbreaking. Is it a sign? Ugh. But I know the CCD has either fully consumed him or is very close and I have been struggling - and currently feeling an intense and enormous amount of guilt that I may be putting him to sleep too soon or that I may be doing this because I have to take him out to pee every 10 minutes or have to hold him up so he can perform #2 in at 3am, or know that I have to clean his entire cage and bath him after coming back from work or dinner because he's soiled himself by being left alone for just 3 to 4 hours.
I know that this is my decision but that doesn't make it any better. Has anyone else gone through this? I'm finding myself ( a grown 44-year old man) breaking down in tears in the middle of the day, in the shower, and even while working out thinking about all of this. With the euthanization coming Sunday, I am absolutely dreading the weekend. I've taken so many online "quality of life" assessments but I come out more confused and guilty as ever - even though the majority indicate it is time.
I'm at the point where I'm starting to think about "well, if this problem with Dexter didn't exist, would I still euthanize him" and I do this with every "issue" to see if I'm being some kind of selfish a-hole.
I'm not sure what the point of this post is. To vent? To ask for help? To be reassured? No idea. This is my first pet and the first death of anything that's so close to me about to pass away.