[x-post from r/dogs] Feeling defeated that I misjudged my dogs anxiety today

[jsw1190]

Feeling like a failure for misjudging my dog.. Spoiler, nothing terrible happened but I am definitely feeling less confident.

I had been having a ton of trouble doing CC with my dog, and because it was unstructured it actually seemed to make her anxiety around kids WORSE. She used to be totally fine with older kids - so at the advice of a trainer we're starting there. She has no history of fear aggression and two trainers have said she'd not a "bite risk" but of course ANY dog can bite when afraid.

This week I've finally started allowing older kids (7+ years) ask my dog to do a trick and feed her treats out of their palms. We did this with five different kids this past week and she was GREAT. She's not a stranger loving dog so she acted how she'd typically act around any stranger with them. Responded to commands and confidently took treats - maybe a LITTLE bit of nervous excitement but I may be reading into it. I've been so excited that the first week of training was so successful!

For background, when we moved in Feb my dog developed some type of anxiety about strangers on our porch or near our apartment. We actually just recently had our adult neighbors give her treats for the first time and she was very cautious and hesitant - very unlike how she acts around adults with treats usually lol. I didn't think about this factor and today allowed my neighbors older kids (maybe 8 and 10) hand feed her. She'd gotten treats from the 10 yo boy earlier this week and was very confident with him. Yay!! She'd never interacted with the younger girl before who is a bit more energetic than the boy. We let her feed Echo and she was a bit nervous I let her feed the treats she had since there was no aggression (not even barking), just lowered body language and tail tucked. Noticeably more nervous "energy" than with the boy. I cut it off fairly quickly to end on a relatively positive note but I've lost confidence.

Maybe I should ask all children to toss the treats and gauge her comfort from there? If she's super confident with that we can try hand feeding? The treats coming from ME became a major issue as she'd turn around to me and get nervous that a child was approaching who may be interfering with the treat giving This is the most success we've had by far but I do NOT want to put a child at risk!! Anyone have similar experiences?! Advice??

 

[17warner]

@jsw1190 Ask them to toss the treats without looking at her or attempting to engage. But it wasn’t a terrible interaction. She was stressed and you ended the session, so she’s learned that you’ll take her out of scary situations without her needing to escalate. It’s actually a positive thing even though you’d have preferred a calmer response.

 

[jsw1190]

@17warner Thank you, that makes me feel better! I'm going to move to having them toss the treats without interacting.

 

[tenderloin]

@jsw1190 I would not skip too quickly to hand feeding. This can feel really conflicting for food-motivated dogs.

Are you familiar with the treat and retreat game? This might be a better place to start. I would highly recommend doing it with a qualified professional observing if at all possible.

 

[jsw1190]

@tenderloin Update! Played the treat and retreat game with the same girl she wa unsure of yesterday and it all went AMAZING. So calm and confident - no signs of anxiety or conflicting thoughts.

We used lower value treats & practiced beforehand with my roommate so she got the game. She loves training games so she was super into it!

 

[jsw1190]

@tenderloin Both professional who have observed her have said her fear is mild and her unease likely has a lot to do with my anxiety. They both want me working with older kids directly and recommended either having her touch the kids hand and then I reward or have the kid toss or hand the treat depending on the comfort level.

She has been not fearful at all with the older kids so far handing the treats but I have read extensively about why this can be conflicting! She is highly food motivated. Now that she's showing she is still unsure in some situations with the older kids I'm going to move back down to having them toss the treats away from them so she doesn't have to get so close!