nogueira527
New member
Hi guys, I’m a recent college grad (22f) and am living in an apartment alone. This isn’t my first time living alone, and I actually prefer it so that’s not the issue. I recently was given a dog by my aunt who owns a dog rescue. I knew going in that this dog was going to be a little bit of a challenge because of her life prior to being rescued, but I have been the primary caregiver to my parents’ dogs for the last several years so didn’t think it would be too much of an issue.
For context, my dog was found in an animal hoard in a trailer. She and 12 other pit bulls were in cages in this trailer for god knows how long without food or water or outside contact. It was so bad that two of the dogs actually ate one that had starved to death so that they wouldn’t die of starvation. Obviously I knew that my dog might have some eccentricities, but I think I was unprepared for just how sad she is all the time. She was briefly being fostered by my aunt who told me that she was a little strange (no social skills, doesn’t really understand toys, etc) but was generally doing extremely well and was very very happy. I definitely believe that, but I think she just hates my apartment, which is causing her to regress massively.
She came to me fully house trained, doing well with people and other dogs, and very happy. A month in and she’s doing worse by the day. She won’t even let me take her outside most of the time because she is scared of the other people who live here. She doesn’t want to come on walks. She won’t eat dry food anymore. Her behavior is just super concerning. She looks sad all the time except for when we’re cuddling. Admittedly, I think the apartment we’re living in is part of the issue. I didn’t realize that the neighborhood I was moving into was as sketchy as it is, and I do think that that’s part of why she is so unhappy and anxious all the time. There are always people outside our patio doors doing, for lack of a better term, weird shit. The other night we heard a weird sound outside, and when I looked out my bedroom window, there was someone just smashing a bunch of liquor bottles in our parking lot, so it’s just weird, semi-concerning things that are definitely making her at least more anxious than she’s been.
I also think that she and I are feeding off of one another’s discontent. It makes me literally sick to my stomach that she’s as unhappy as she is, and I can no longer go see my friends or even go to the grocery store for more than ten minutes because she’s so stressed all the time. Because I work 8-4 weekdays, I feel horrible leaving her alone unless I absolutely have to when I could be at home with her. All of this is now making my anxiety and depression a lot worse because I can’t actually go and do anything without being stressed that she’s home alone in an apartment that she hates. I think we’re making each other worse, and my living situation is already stressful for me because obviously it’s not somewhere I’d like to be living and I pay way too much for it given the circumstances. I’m looking for a new place, but I’m a broke graduate with limited options and even more limited finances to actually break my lease and move.
My parents think I should give them my dog, and I would literally rather cut off my left food than have to do that. I love her, and no matter how bad things are, I would be devastated if I had to give her up. Of course I know much parents would take care of her, and I’d be able to see her on the weekends because they only live about an hour away from me, but the thought makes me physically ill. She’s terrified of my mom for unknown reasons (I’m assuming my mom resembles one of the people who abused her and her siblings and then abandoned them?), my parents have 3 dogs that are all three scary for different reasons, and she is now extremely reliant on me for protection, attention, and comfort. But they also have a fenced in back yard and dogs for her to play with and no creepy people smashing liquor bottles in their parking lot. I know our current situation isn’t good for her, that’s a given, but I’m actively trying to get us out of it. I moved here literally a week before she came to live with me and didn’t know it was going to be like this. If it was just me, I wouldn’t even bat an eye at the sketchy neighborhood or the ample sex offender registry for our street, but I love her and want for her to be somewhere better than this.
I just don’t know what to do. Sometimes, she’s so happy. I can get her tail wagging and she seems really content. Most of the time she seems content, but I just know this isn’t the best life she could be living. I know on paper it makes more sense for her to go live with my parents, but it’s gutting me to feel like I’m giving up on her at the first sign of trouble. Please help me. Is there literally anything I can do to fix this for her?
For context, my dog was found in an animal hoard in a trailer. She and 12 other pit bulls were in cages in this trailer for god knows how long without food or water or outside contact. It was so bad that two of the dogs actually ate one that had starved to death so that they wouldn’t die of starvation. Obviously I knew that my dog might have some eccentricities, but I think I was unprepared for just how sad she is all the time. She was briefly being fostered by my aunt who told me that she was a little strange (no social skills, doesn’t really understand toys, etc) but was generally doing extremely well and was very very happy. I definitely believe that, but I think she just hates my apartment, which is causing her to regress massively.
She came to me fully house trained, doing well with people and other dogs, and very happy. A month in and she’s doing worse by the day. She won’t even let me take her outside most of the time because she is scared of the other people who live here. She doesn’t want to come on walks. She won’t eat dry food anymore. Her behavior is just super concerning. She looks sad all the time except for when we’re cuddling. Admittedly, I think the apartment we’re living in is part of the issue. I didn’t realize that the neighborhood I was moving into was as sketchy as it is, and I do think that that’s part of why she is so unhappy and anxious all the time. There are always people outside our patio doors doing, for lack of a better term, weird shit. The other night we heard a weird sound outside, and when I looked out my bedroom window, there was someone just smashing a bunch of liquor bottles in our parking lot, so it’s just weird, semi-concerning things that are definitely making her at least more anxious than she’s been.
I also think that she and I are feeding off of one another’s discontent. It makes me literally sick to my stomach that she’s as unhappy as she is, and I can no longer go see my friends or even go to the grocery store for more than ten minutes because she’s so stressed all the time. Because I work 8-4 weekdays, I feel horrible leaving her alone unless I absolutely have to when I could be at home with her. All of this is now making my anxiety and depression a lot worse because I can’t actually go and do anything without being stressed that she’s home alone in an apartment that she hates. I think we’re making each other worse, and my living situation is already stressful for me because obviously it’s not somewhere I’d like to be living and I pay way too much for it given the circumstances. I’m looking for a new place, but I’m a broke graduate with limited options and even more limited finances to actually break my lease and move.
My parents think I should give them my dog, and I would literally rather cut off my left food than have to do that. I love her, and no matter how bad things are, I would be devastated if I had to give her up. Of course I know much parents would take care of her, and I’d be able to see her on the weekends because they only live about an hour away from me, but the thought makes me physically ill. She’s terrified of my mom for unknown reasons (I’m assuming my mom resembles one of the people who abused her and her siblings and then abandoned them?), my parents have 3 dogs that are all three scary for different reasons, and she is now extremely reliant on me for protection, attention, and comfort. But they also have a fenced in back yard and dogs for her to play with and no creepy people smashing liquor bottles in their parking lot. I know our current situation isn’t good for her, that’s a given, but I’m actively trying to get us out of it. I moved here literally a week before she came to live with me and didn’t know it was going to be like this. If it was just me, I wouldn’t even bat an eye at the sketchy neighborhood or the ample sex offender registry for our street, but I love her and want for her to be somewhere better than this.
I just don’t know what to do. Sometimes, she’s so happy. I can get her tail wagging and she seems really content. Most of the time she seems content, but I just know this isn’t the best life she could be living. I know on paper it makes more sense for her to go live with my parents, but it’s gutting me to feel like I’m giving up on her at the first sign of trouble. Please help me. Is there literally anything I can do to fix this for her?