Not able to gain dogs trust after 1.5 years

[jake15]

I adopted my dog from a rescue in Texas. She was kept in a hoarding situation with 200+ dogs, and was mainly kept in a crate for six years (since she was born). She also has lots of scars and both ears are torn, so I don’t know if she was hurt by humans or other dogs.
She’s very mellow and submissive, she’s never tried to bite or fight or anything even when she’s extremely scared. She’s very anxious, of course, but has gotten better over the past two years. When I first got her she’d try to jump out windows/onto counters to try to get away from people. Now she’ll just pace and whine when she’s anxious. The thing is, she will come up to me and let me pet her in public with others present, and even come sit on me/next to me on the couch, but when it’s just me and her in my apartment she won’t come near me aside from occasionally coming up behind me and licking my leg. She won’t sit near me or let me pet her. I can’t think of any reasons for this, I’ve always been as quiet and calm around her as possible. She seems more at ease at home, and walks around and hangs out in her crate, but gets nervous if I walk towards her. It makes me sad because I want her to be completely comfortable at home. She’s not food motivated so I haven’t been able to hand feed her or throw her treats. I know she is very messed up and I’ve been told by every trainer/behaviorist she’s had that she’ll probably never act like a normal dog, but I just want her to be comfortable around me and in her home.

 

[hevin7th]

@jake15 She went through extreme trauma - if a person went through this they would never fully recover and humans can utilize speech and counseling. Your dog probably never learned how to dog, and has no idea how to behave in any other way.

My Rat terrier mix I had was a rescue- he was starved, beaten, and burned with cigarettes inside his legs around the crotch- He was completely shut down emotionally when I got him and even just communicating with him was a struggle because of how shut down he was. He didn't know how to play, he would run away if I was holding food (I suspect they beat him after baiting/luring him in) He eventually learned I was a safe person, learned slowly how to play (with a lot of guidance from me) slowly learned to take food from me.... emphasis here is everything took a long time. It took over a year before I noticed he liked balls, and balls were actually how I broke through some of his fear of play. I had to show him I was here for him in scary situations by protecting him, moving him away from scary things and reassurance all the time- he eventually came out of his shell and was the most amazing smart doggo- that was people reactive and a bit shy for life. But his sparkly self eventually did come out- but god it took a long time and a lot of work.

Damage was done to her over 6 years- you have had her for 2 which is much less time - she may never act 'normally' but be assured you are her safe person, she comes to you in public when she is unsure- she may not know how to show affection to you, and contact in a 'normal' way may be scary to her because she never had that before.. take the little blessings of her kisses on your legs, and how she turns to you in scary places and know that she does feel for you. In time she will become more confident with you, especially if you work with her a lot, and involve her in your everyday activities. Is there anything she noticeably enjoys?

 

[jake15]

@hevin7th Thank you, this actually made me cry. Everyone who doesn’t understand how bad she was when I got her or the situation she came from’s comments about how she should be better by now has been getting to me.

And yes, she likes my two cats a lot. They don’t interact a ton but she shows interest in them (that’s literally the only thing she’s actually showed interest in) and one of the cats runs up to her every time she gets up and they greet eachother. It’s so cute.

 

[angeloftheking]

@jake15 Aww, show your cats lots of love (or treats if they are into ot, maybe some of those treat tubes) when doggo can see you. If she is interested in the treat tube let her have a luck or three.

If she’s interested in the cats she may notice that you are kind and respectful to them, and that they don’t see you as a threat.

Esp if you lie down on the floor with them.

 

[rise_above]

@jake15 Okay so, I'm not a dog person but this was suggested on my feed, and I think Furys' comment is spot on, but I just wanted to add one thing, which you can take or leave as I am not a dog expert, but; you mention in your OP that you try to be as quiet and calm around her as possible. It made me think of how, when you're sleep training an infant for example, you're actually not supposed to be as quiet as you can, you're supposed to continue making a small amount of reasonable noise so they can learn to sleep through normal household noises. And, for adults with noise-related trauma and/or extreme sensory triggers (speaking as someone with both), there's a certain level of trigger-tolerance around loud noises that you really have to figure out if you're going to be out in society, or have any kind of neighbors. Heck, even if you're a total hermit, you're not gonna have a very good time if your own accidental noises might set you off.

I wonder if it might be helpful to train her, in whatever way ends up being appropriate for your situation, to feel more comfortable with normal levels of noise. Off the top of my head, you could try very slowly ramping up the volume while playing with her, to associate it with fun and engagement, or maybe singing along to music while doing something with her that she enjoys like playing or going outside, etc. What I wouldn't want to happen is for her to seem like she's making progress and then have that comletely undone by some kind of noise that you can't control, like a neighbor watching a sports game and screaming, or walking her next to a park where kids are playing a little too loudly.

 

[hevin7th]

@jake15 That's adorable. So animal friends make her feel safe. She will be fine, as she realizes more and more that her life has changed for the better, she will get more comfortable. My little dude panicked if you took his collar off till the day he passed- there are some things that will always stay with them, but they are doing the best they can.

 

[brianclark24]

@jake15 Bless you for caring so much. She loves you.