my friend’s dog thinks i’m a puppy

[renejceternity]

mira is my favorite dog in the world and we always play together. when i’m watching her for my friend, we sprint through the streets on walks and the energy stays high.

when i walk in the door, she takes a full 5 minutes to calm down. she runs circles around me, loses her feet from under her, bombards me with licks, etc. her owner says she doesn’t react like that to other people, and the only time they’ve seen her act similarly is around puppies, so we’ve deduced that that’s how she sees me.

the problem is that she doesn’t want me to relax when i’m at my friend’s apartment. she wants me to run around on the floor with her infinitely and play the whole time i’m there. i love playing with her, but my friend and i also love to watch movies, and it’s hard to do both at once.

every time i’m there and sitting on the couch, she gets up and barks at me. we try to get her on the couch and cuddle with her to redirect her, but she wiggles out of our arms and barks some more. we’ve tried rewarding her laying down with treats, we’ve tried her thunder vest, we’ve tried brief bedroom time-outs in case she’s overstimulated. we verbally tell her not to bark, we’ve tried not acknowledging the behavior, and we’ve tried bringing her toys.

i know she just wants to play, but even when i get on the ground and play with her for a little, she goes right back to barking once we stop.

it’s getting to the point where my friend is genuinely worried they could get noise complaints and be evicted, but the dog only reacts this way to me. i’m going to have to stop going over and seeing my best dog friend if we can’t find a solution.

please help

 

[superyob]

@renejceternity It’s unlikely that she sees you as a puppy because dogs do realize that humans aren’t dogs, but it’s likely that she gets excited when seeing you because she knows you’re her “play time pal.” And there’s nothing wrong with that, but it can definitely be a bit of a hassle if she gets a bit over aroused and stimulated every time you come over. There’s one game that might help, as it can teach dogs to calm down quickly after getting excited. Ive heard it called many different things, and this video I’ll link calls it “jazz up and jazz down.” It’s where you act super excited so the dog gets super excited and then you ask for a sit. Reward the sit, then get super excited again and then ask her for a calm sit again. I think it helps dogs “come to earth” after being overly excited or stimulated as it encourages them to hold still and be calm in short bursts. I like it because many dogs struggle to be aware of or control their emotions, so it’s a nice gentle way of acknowledging that while also getting the calmness you want. It might take a bit to work and a few tries at first, but eventually you could dial it down to one “jazz up and jazz down” try and she’ll be chill quicker. Just have to be consistent with it and after a few visits try to slowly dial down the amount of “jazz up and jazz down” exercises. Some days she might be more excited than others, and to be fair you might look a little silly while doing it, but hopefully it’ll work for you. Here’s the video as a good visual example:

 

[daffodil1003]

@renejceternity Your first and biggest problem is that it's "what she wants." The dog isn't the deciding entity on what's going to happen in a house. Ignore her every time until she figures out she can't push you into activity. When she stops focusing on you and settles into self-entertainment, then you can ALLOW her your interaction.

 

[champjm]

@renejceternity You’ve set her up to expect time with you is wide open all the time, you’ve not asked her for relaxation time as well. You come bounding into her day like the Koolaid Man and keep that energy. Look into ways you help her settle, the Sit on the Dog (google it, you don’t sit on the actual dog) is an excellent place to start.

 

[kittyc]

@renejceternity Recommend YouTube's kikopup videos on capturing calmness. You have conditioned her to be extremely excited by your very presence 100% of the time. Now it's going to take some real time, effort, and patience to teach her to calm down in your company.

Because the demand barking in the dog's own apartment is a problem, and you are going to need to sit through a significant amount of it as part of the process, I suggest you begin your work elsewhere. A large outdoor park, in your home, or somewhere remote might be good places for this. Take her to the initial practice location, have a seat, and ignore her for a bit. She will begin demand barking. Wait for a pause, say gooood in a soothing voice, treat. Mark in a relaxed and groovy tone and reward every little thing she does that looks more relaxed than before. Pause from barking. Maybe she sniffs the ground. Maybe she stops staring at you. Maybe she relaxes her ears. Maybe she sits or lies down. Maybe she lets her tail stop wagging. Maybe she goes from hopping to four feet on the floor. Anything she does that's a step towards relaxation, including very very small stuff in the beginning, reward but don't amp up.

Stop giving her any attention when you arrive at her house. Ignore her until she's not frenzied but keeping four on the floor, then crouch down and say hi at her level.

Teach impulse control as a general concept by teaching Leave It and/or Stay. Her owner can do this part. Impulse control is a skill that improves like a muscle, with regular exercise.

At first you are going to have to ignore a lot of really exciting behavior. There's a phenomenon called and extinction burst. The behavior that used to get the desired effect stops working, so the dog intensifies that behavior, trying harder to get the wanted result. Eventually when even more intensity fails, the dog gives up and is ready to try something different. It's very important not to give in but to wait out the extinction burst or you will end up with the more enthusiastic version of the behavior (being crazy excited or demand barking) you want to extinguish.

It will be faster and less work in the long run if you remain unexciting consistently until the dog doesn't get worked up over your presence any more and then for a while after that. Then you can start doing limited Exciting Times activities like playing or running, but with a relaxed to bored dog both before and after. Once you can do calm to excited to calm in the same visit, you can be less structured, although I would make sure to keep greetings low key and have a calm ignored break at least once a visit to make sure she can still relax in your presence.

It's harder to unlearn a thing than learn it in the first place. Be patient when progress feels slow and don't be the one who gives in. Sometimes a couple pairs of earplugs for you and owner can make withstanding the demand barking a lot easier.